el Page 1455 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Darrelle Revis: Don't Give Tom Brady Special Treatment
Darrelle Revis is back with the Jets after a successful year in New England, but his season as Tom Brady’s teammate hasn’t disposed him toward sympathy for the Patriots or their quarterback....
Kyle Korver Just Wants To Live, Man
One of the fun things about LeBron James is that he is so impossibly big, fast, and strong that he can turn a crunch-time possession in a playoff game, one which his opponents desperately needed to end with a stop, into a basic fight-or-flight situation....
Tonight Was The Good Kind Of J.R. Smith Game
Tonight was a J.R. Smith Game. That is a terrifying sentence to read for anybody who has ever been a fan of a team that J.R. Smith played for. A J.R. Smith Game is one in which he does something inexplicably stupid, like elbowing somebody in the head. A J.R. Smith Game is one in which he plays terri...
Letterman Guests: "Top Ten Things I've Always Wanted To Say To Dave"
David Letterman’s final Top Ten list featured some of the late night host’s most legendary guests each announcing “something they’ve always wanted to say to Dave.” Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, Barbara Walters, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Peyton Manning, Tina Fey, and ...
"I'm Not Getting <i>The Tonight Show</i>"; Watch Letterman's Final Monologue
Tonight is David Letterman’s last show after 33 years of hosting late night television. Here’s his final opening monologue, in which he looks back on his decades of work. ...
Jamie Foxx's Doc Rivers Impression Is Perfect
Jamie Foxx was a guest on the Tonight Show last night, and busted out a surprise Doc Rivers impression during his segment. Jamie Foxx is really, really good at sounding like Doc Rivers....
So, Did James Harden Win You Over?
If any James Harden fans are still looking for a way to convince James Harden haters that the Rockets’ shooting guard and MVP runner-up is in fact a legitimate superstar and not the NBA equivalent of a Mortal Kombat spammer, they need look no further than last night’s Game 1 against the Warriors....
Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanto...
Blackhawks Top Ducks 3-2 In Triple OT
It isn’t the prettiest goal you’ll ever see—and it’s no head goal—but it did the trick just fine. Blackhawks forward Marcus Krüger punched the puck past Frederik Andersen 16 minutes and 12 seconds into the game’s third overtime; the longest game in the Chicago Blackhawks’s 89-year history. (It was o...
Zen Koans, As Brought To You By ESPN's Neil Everett
“It’s like the scarecrow in Oz, you get too close to the fire, eventually.. you’re going to get burned. Heh.”...
Old Man Jumps Off 500-Foot-High Bridge, Lights Parachute On Fire, Dies
Maybe 73-year-old BASE jumper James E. Hickey didn’t precisely want to die when he leapt off the 500-foot-high Perrine Bridge, in Twin Falls, Idaho, and lit his own goddamn parachute on fire. On the other hand, I think it is safe to say that jumping off of a 500-foot-high bridge and lighting one’s o...
NBA Writer Wants To Yank His Crank To Wolves Owner's Wife
For the second straight NBA draft lottery, the sports media couldn’t keep its collective dick in its collective pants. Last year, Bucks owner Wes Edens had his 18-year-old daughter, Mallory, represent the team at the lottery, and sportswriters jizzed all over their computer screens. This year there ...
Pedro Alvarez Wallops Home Run Out Of PNC Park, Into Moored Boat
Both AT&T Park and PNC Park were built alongside large bodies of water. But whereas the San Francisco Bay is only about 370 feet from home plate at AT&T Park, the Allegheny River is 443 feet from home plate at PNC Park. Thus, in its 14-year history, there have only been two splash hits at PNC Park. ...
76ers Win Right To Trade Somebody For Two Second-Rounders In 2017
Well, it was worth it. At long last, it was worth it. The two forfeited seasons, the lottery picks spent on bum legs, the young players traded for assets, the assets traded for lesser assets, the draft lottery letting the Heat and Lakers keep their picks instead of shipping them to Philly, the TED t...
Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
Report: Titans Gave Scalper Tickets, Wrote Them Off As Military Donation
NFL sellout streaks are practically meaningless except to show fans’ interest when lobbying for a stadium financing, and to avoid blackouts. According to a report from NewsChannel 5 in Nashville, the Titans had a deal with a ticket broker to keep their streak alive and stay on TV....
ESPN's New Hire Says Global-Warming Fears Are "Intellectually Dishonest"
ESPN is a sports media conglomerate that largely, intentionally operates under the conceit that sports exist within a vacuum, untouched by the outside world except for instances in which the outside world intrudes on the sports universe. It’s a fallacious conceit, but it has some unintended positive...