el Page 1469 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Verne Lundquist Absolutely Delighted By Rejection-Turned-Assist
Cincinnati's going to lose to Kentucky, but they'll always have the moment Troy Caupain played tip-drill after a Wildcats block and managed to find the basket. If you listen closely, you can hear the tears of joy trickle down a delighted Verne Lundquist's face....

Never Jump
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Marcus Smart Ejected After Punching Matt Bonner In The Balls
Celtics fans are hoping Marcus Smart is the next Kevin Garnett, and if this blast to Matt Bonner's nuts is any proof, the rookie is already embracing some of KG's finishing moves. This one, in particular, finished Smart's night; he earned the ejection, and Boston fell 101-89 to the Spurs....

A Vicious Rejection
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Clayton Kershaw Takes Liner To The Face, Stays In Game
Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw took a line drive to the cheek while pitching in a spring training game against the Oakland A's today, surely causing every Dodgers fan in attendance to nearly faint....

Ravens Lineman John Urschel Loves Math More Than You Love Anything
Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman John Urschel recently had a math paper—titled "A Cascadic Multigrid Algorithm for Computing the Fiedler Vector of Graph Laplacians"—published in the Journal of Computational Mathematics. You think you love math? You don't love math. John Urschel loves math....

The Thunder Hold A Tight Grip On Their Players' Media Availability
Russell Westbrook doesn't necessarily care for the media, and he doesn't try to hide that. He and Oklahoman reporter Berry Tramel had a tense exchange in January, with the Thunder point guard outright saying he didn't like Tramel. Grantland's Bryan Curtis looked into the media-team relationship in O...

If You Like Drama, Root for Maryland
Freshman Melo Trimble leads Maryland in games played, minutes, points, scoring average, free throws, free throw percentage, assists and steals. But Trimble's game is at least as pleasing to non-analytics obsessives. Early into a season in which his team earned a reputation for thriving in cliffhan...

Kevin Durant Out Indefinitely With Persistent Foot Soreness
Thunder GM Sam Presti held a press conference today to announce that his team is super boned. Well, he didn't say that specifically, but that's about all there is to be gleaned from his announcement that Kevin Durant, who was supposedly close to returning to the team after missing the last 13 games ...

Colin Cowherd Loves Oregon Because Of All The Wonderful White People
On his radio show today, butt-faced shitbag Colin Cowherd dropped the dog whistle for once while yakking his way through a segment in which he seeded all of the states in order of how much he likes them. Cowherd really, really likes Oregon. Can you guess why? (It's partly because there are a lot of ...

Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...

Vegas Goes Nuts Over A Meaningless Layup To Cover The Spread
It was a remarkable day of basketball, despite having only two (or three, maybe) actual late winners. But if you are rooting with your wallet as well as with your heart, well, there are buzzer-beaters all around you....

High School Lacrosse Goalie Scores Incredible 77-Yard Goal
With time running out in the third quarter of a game against Boulder (Co.) High School, Wheat Ridge HS goalie Nolan Hector hurled the ball as far down the field as he could. Amazingly, his 77-yard shot went in with 0.7 seconds remaining in the quarter. You can see the play developing—Nolan only had ...

BeeJay Anya Hits Game-Winner For North Carolina State, Downs LSU
Today's wild day of NCAA tournament action stayed crazy as North Carolina State's BeeJay Anya delivered a late jumper to give the Wolfpack a 66-65 win over LSU. It was all possible due to this clever dribbling from Trevor Lacey:...

Cincinnati Forces Overtime With Last Gasp Layup
I—and everybody else, surely—was screaming "SHOOT THE DAMN BALL ALREADY" at Cincinnati's Troy Caupain as he seemingly took an eternity to attempt and tie the ballgame. But Caupain's internal clock had Swiss watchmaker-like accuracy, and by golly he was going to use up 7.3 of the 7.4 seconds he had t...

Cincy's Octavius Ellis Ejected For Forearm Shiver, Cries As He Leaves
Cincinnati is locked in a tight battle with Purdue for the right to play (presumably) Kentucky in the next round, but their task just got a lot harder after forward Octavius Ellis was given a flagrant two and ejected for the forearm shiver above. He seemed to regret his excessively violent boxing ou...

Ohio State's D'Angelo Russell Bloodied By Elbow To The Face
Ohio State's D'Angelo Russell took an elbow to the face courtesy of VCU's Doug Brooks while going up for a rebound. Brooks got hit with a flagrant one foul; Russell needed to be cleaned up, but kept playing after the injury....

"Make Hummus, Not Walls": A Food Tour Of Ramallah
It was somewhere around the first bite of m'sakhan and the second glass of arak that I started to think that my panic had been unfounded. "Unfounded" is a strong word. Misdirected, perhaps. But I'm getting ahead of myself. ...

Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...

Demetrius Jackson Leads Notre Dame On A Razzle-Dazzle Fast Break
14-seed Northeastern brought the fight to Notre Dame today, but eventually lost 69-65 after crapping away a chance to tie it up in the closing seconds. Before that, though, Notre Dame guard Demetrius Jackson pulled off this slick bit of dribbling and passing on a fast break. So far, this is the high...