el Page 1576 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cleveland Browns "Stunned" Johnny Manziel Likes To Party
Hey, The Browns? Can we chat for a second? Great. So, this isn't, like, a huge deal or anything, but I'm just a little concerned about you guys. I think we're all concerned about you guys. We're not trying to gang up on you or anything, it's just, some of the things we've been reading about you are ...
Master Troll Painter Sneaks Tom Brady Into Poster Of New York Heroes
So yesterday, an old editor emailed me with the above photo and funny story. The MTA, New York City's subway and bus system, is selling a new poster for Brooklyn's Grand Army Plaza, a location that serves both as a subway station and the entrance to New York's iconic Prospect Park. The MTA commissio...
Bumbling Defensive Play Is The Cubs In A Nutshell
The Cubs are playing a game against the St. Louis Cardinals today, and it didn't take them long to go full Cubs on everyone's ass....
Denver Sports Anchor Can't Help But Notice All This Alzheimer's
Here's 9NEWS Denver's Drew Soicher with maybe not the best lead-in to today's sports report: an Alzheimer's joke....
How <em>First Take</em> Poisoned ESPN
This is exactly what First Take was designed to do. That's not hyperbole. First Take's reason for existence is to reduce every subject, from the incredibly complex to the totally uncontroversial, down to a binary issue that can be debated. Is Tim Tebow a good quarterback? Is LeBron clutch? Should Ra...
ESPN Spent The Past 24 Hours Carrying Water For The NFL Over Ray Rice
On occasion, the invisible hand of the NFL taps ESPN on the shoulder and reminds the Worldwide Leader who really runs the show. We saw it with Playmakers. We saw it with the Frontline concussion documentary. More often than not, though, what you see is something like the video above, taken from the ...
Bulldog Mascots Are Doomed, Flatulent, And Beloved
Excerpted from Travels With Casey: My Journey Through Our Dog-Crazy Country....
Aaron Gordon Crosses A Little Girl To The Ground, Flees The Scene
If there's one thing we love, it's people running away from awesome things that happen on a basketball court. If there's another thing we love, it's small children getting their shit wrecked by a sweet crossover. So this Vine, featuring Magic rookie Aaron Gordon, is essentially the perfect Vine....
Dallas Keuchel Had The Perfect Comeback For A Heckler
This photo, taken by A's fan Nick Wong, shows the only response Astros pitcher Dallas Keuchel needed to shut down a good-natured heckler. You can tell a guy he sucks, but how much can he really suck if he's being paid to be where you spent money to get in?...
<em>First Take</em> Discusses A Woman's Responsibility To Avoid Being Beaten
First Take panelists Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless continued to discuss the Ray Rice suspension on this morning's episode, and Smith seized on the opportunity to say some deeply stupid things about the responsibility women have to not provoke men into violently attacking them....
Stop Making Sense: The Lunkheaded Genius Of <em>Big Trouble In Little China</em>
In 1988's Die Hard—probably the most perfect and pure American action movie ever made—we met Bruce Willis's John McClane, a different kind of action hero. McClane wasn't an ultra-capable superman, but instead a resourceful, slippery, one-liner-slinging everyman, not to mention, sometimes, a smarmy a...
GM Gets Prostate Exam In Stadium, Sings "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
Andy Milovich, general manager of the Texas Rangers' Single-A affiliate Myrtle Beach Pelicans, took minor league baseball stunts to a whole new level. He got a prostate exam in front of the whole stadium at tonight's game against the Frederick Keys and did so during the seventh-inning stretch while ...
Ryan Raburn Defensive Meltdown Leads To Easiest Inside-The-Parker Ever
We've seen bad defense from Ryan Raburn before, but this is really something....
Cop Gets Pushy With Rockies Bro; Rockies Bro Becomes American Hero
The temptation is to say there are no winners here, what with the cop getting needlessly pushy and the bro trying to summon James Madison from his grave with his slurring bluster about injustice. But you know what? Fuck this. We're on Team Bro here....
Bryant Gumbel Says Smart Things About Tony La Russa And Mark McGwire
We'll take any allies in the war on the war on PEDs, even if that ally is the most self-satisfied broadcaster on television, a man who makes Bob Costas look like Woody Allen. Listen to Bryant Gumbel here. He speaks truth. ...
Madison Bumgarner Can Dominate Without You Even Noticing
Last night's game between the Giants and Phillies was interrupted by a rain delay in the 4th inning that lasted nearly an hour. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good time to just abandon watching the game altogether, but Madison Bumgarner was on the mound for the Giants, and that...
Police: Texas Football Players Sexually Assaulted Woman, Took Picture
Two Texas football players, Kendall Sanders and Montrel Meander, are charged with felony sexual assault for an attack that police say happened last month in a university dorm room. They have since been suspended from the team. ...
Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved
The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the La...
How Do Other Notable NFL Suspensions Compare With Ray Rice's?
With news coming down that Ray Rice will be suspended a mere two games for knocking out his wife and then dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator, we figured it would be constructive to look back at the length and severity of other notable NFL suspensions from the past....
NFL Statement On Ray Rice Wants You To Believe It Came Down Hard On Him
Here's the full NFL statement confirming the two-game suspension and fine of an additional game check for Ray Rice, for knocking his then-fiancée unconscious in a casino elevator. It is fucking ballsy. ...