el Page 1619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Was Shot And Raped By An FSU Player. I Still Cheer For The Seminoles.
Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston was in the process of driving the Seminoles 80 yards in 1:06 to win a national championship, and Ashley Witherspoon, class of '91, was getting loud....
Flatizza Vs. Waffle Taco: A Fast-Food Smackdown For The Ages
Fast-food outlets are often criticized by the discount burgeratti for overstating the innovation of their "new" offerings, and for good reason. Every chain has been guilty of twisting an existing menu item two degrees toward novelty by using the same few tired tricks. Maybe they flop another protein...
<em>Empire Of Derp</em>: Your Heartbreaking Knicks Season In Review Montage
We'll remember so much about this NBA regular season, but most Knicks executives, players, and fans would like to forget it all. To prevent that from ever happening, we've prepared this montage of the Knicks' 2013-2014 season's most memorable moments....
Adult Kickball Team Email: Please Don't Fuck Your Teammates Yet
The weather's getting warmer, which means it's time for America's favorite pastime. That's right: adult kickball....
Gareth Bale Is The Fastest Man Alive, Scores Late To Win Copa del Rey
The final el clásico of the year. A one-off match for the Copa del Rey trophy. A trophy-starved Barça's last legitimate shot for silverware. Star man Cristiano Ronaldo out with an injury. And in the middle of all this, newcomer Gareth Bale decided he'd just outrun everyone. ...
Kobe Bryant Says Fuck It, I'm Starting My Vacation Now
The L.A. Times reports that Kobe Bryant has already jetted off to France for a family vacation, even as the Lakers prepare to play the final game of the regular season tonight in San Antonio. That was news to a team spokesperson....
I Can't Stop Watching These Synchronized Skaters Freak The Hell Out
This happened back in March, at the 2014 U.S. Synchronized Skating Championships, and there is just so much to love about it. What you are watching is a synchronized skating team called the Starlights absolutely losing its collective mind after seeing its score from the short program....
First-Person Footage Shows Us What It's Like To Play Linebacker
At this year's spring game, the Miami Hurricanes put a camera on linebacker Denzel Perryman's helmet, so as to show the rest of the world what a pain in the ass playing linebacker is....
Why I Fixed Fights
I fixed a lot of fights over the years. In two I didn't fix but should have, people paid heavily for my carelessness. Even though I set up Mitch "Blood" Green and Leon Spinks cushion-soft in their comeback fights, I managed to get one embarrassed and the other nearly killed. There had been opportuni...
Listen To Vin Scully Tell A Famous Story About Jackie Robinson
If you've never heard the story about Jackie Robinson's teammate, Gene Hermanski, suggesting that all the Dodgers wear the number 42 so as to confuse anyone trying to assassinate Robinson, now's your chance to hear it as it was meant to be told: by Vin Scully....
Chris Paul's Handles Are The Best Handles
Point God, meet Evan Fournier. Evan Fournier, say goodbye to the Point God....
Meet An Elite: Lelisa Desisa
Now that it's cool to care about the Boston Marathon again, Fittish would like to familiarize you with the runners at the front of the pack. This morning's elite: Lelisa Desisa. ...
The Dickens of Detroit
Oh, goody. Over at Grantland, Michael Weinreb writes about Elmore's Detroit:...
Junkies Have A Thing For Neil Young
"Loss Prevention" a short story from Richard Lange's impressive collection Dead Boys. Here's how it begins:...
So Apparently Blake Griffin Is A Young Earth Creationist
There's an interview with Blake Griffin in the latest issue of Rolling Stone that contains one particularly alarming bit of information. It appears that Blake Griffin is a hardcore, Jesus-rode-a-dinosaur-type creationist. ...
Coverage Of Somber Boston Marathon Tribute Marred By Photog's "Fuck!"
CNN, which can't seem to get anything right these days, ruined another bit of coverage today when what appeared to be a moment of silence during Boston's marathon bombing memorial tribute today was interrupted by what sounds like a cursing cameraman....
Life, Death, And Yasiel Puig: <em>LA Mag</em>'s Jesse Katz Is Here To Chat
Los Angeles Magazine's Jesse Katz, who wrote that great story on Yasiel Puig's defection from Cuba—you can get a refresher here—is in the comments below, ready to take your questions. Follow Jesse on Twitter @byjessekatz, stop by his website, and/or check out his book The Opposite Field, a memoir on...
Kevin Love Gives Us One More Gorgeous Outlet Pass
The Minnesota Timberwolves' season has been a big disappointment, and Kevin Love lost his spirit a long time ago. But Love played balls-out in a duel against Stephen Curry and the Warriors last night, posting a 40-14-9 stat line and launching another one of his patented outlet passes....
This Oilers Fan Is Fed Up With Everything
The Oilers missed the playoffs for the eighth consecutive year. They finished dead last in the Pacific and only the Panthers and Sabres had fewer points in the entire league. This is what being a sports fan can do to a person. It can make you throw a personal item at a building. ...