el Page 1888 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Josh Hamilton's Fly Ball Damn Near Killed Andruw Jones
The scene is the Yankees game. Right now. Weather's nice in the city. Warm, breezy, with a sun obscured by few clouds. It's a beautiful day to watch baseball, indoors with the windows open, or on television. It's a beautiful day to play baseball, too, if you're anyone but Andruw Jones....

Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...

The Mariners' Double-A Team, Including Felix Hernandez's Brother, Went Nutso When Felix Finished His Perfect Game
Batting practice for the Jackson (Tenn.) Generals ground to a halt yesterday afternoon, as Felix Hernandez closed in on his first career perfecto. The end of the game was played on the scoreboard, and the Mariners' AA affiliate gathered in left field to watch the final few pitches. When Sean Rodri...

This Man Is A Standup Comedian And An Evolutionary Anthropologist Studying The Science Of Funny. Ask Him About Jokes.
What do your jokes say about you? That's what Robert Lynch wants to know. He's pursuing his Ph.D. in evolutionary anthropology at Rutgers, and his studies focus on why humans laugh. (He's also a standup comedian.) Lynch is in the discussion below, ready to answer all your questions about the science...

Yup, That's A Kansas City Chiefs Glass Eye
Spotted over at Arrowhead Addict: the last thing a Raiders fan sees before he dies. Steve Graham, 58, lost his right eye in a dart accident when he was a kid, but only a decade ago did he decide to give the real estate to a Chiefs logo....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Four Umpires, And Not One Knows The Count
Yes, the job of the men in blue can sometimes be a dangerous one. But most of the time, the gig is just a matter of calling what they see, while also keeping track of exactly where everything stands. Simple, right? Well, things got a bit confusing for all involved during Carlos Lee's ordinary at-bat...

Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?
Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay th...

Here's What The Scorecard From Felix Hernandez's Perfect Game Looks Like
Dave Sims, who called a fantastic game today for Root Sports, fully embracing the fact that Felix Hernandez was on his way to history and eschewing any ridiculous notions of superstition during the telecast, just posted a photo of his scorecard, and it's astonishing to see. The three boxes (and no m...

Mexico's Official Soccer Mascot Will Haunt Your Dreams
This is Kin, the official mascot of the Mexican national soccer team, which faces the USA tonight at Estadio Azteca. Mexico is 23-0-1 all-time against the USMNT on its home soil, though I'm thinking it's the hideous sight of this monstrosity and not the extreme altitude or exuberant fanbase that's t...

ESPN Soccer Analyst Flubs An Answer, Says, "Aw, Shit, Sorry Guys," Gets Reminded He's Speaking Live
In the video above, we find ESPN soccer analyst Janusz Michallik answering a question that hadn't been asked and cussing as he stubs his toe on the metaphorical fourth wall. (The subject at hand is Manchester United's acquisition of Robin van Persie, from Arsenal.) Reminded that he's live, on ESPN...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Finally Discovers Mike Trout
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Felix Hernandez Just Threw A Perfect Game Against The Rays
On Monday, our man Tom Ley wrote about Felix Hernandez, the big-game pitcher who's been deprived of big games because he plays in Seattle. "No one calls him clutch," he wrote, "because his teams have been too wretched to give him even a chance at being clutch. But clutch isn't always about rising ...

Massive 12-Year-Old Too Big For Pee Wee Football, Too Bad At Football For Middle School Football
KDFW reports on the story of Elijah Earnheart, who at the tender age of 12 is already six feet tall and weighs nearly 300 pounds. Elijah wants to play football, but because of his size, he's been banned from his Mequite (Texas) Pee Wee team. Once you get the giggles out over the Fox screengrab of po...

Here Is A Video Of Roger Goodell Getting Picked Up By A Youth Football Coach
Today NFL commissioner Roger Goodell hosted USA Football and a few player safety coaches for a conference on Heads Up Football, "a free program that teaches proper tackling technique, concussion awareness and offers coaching education to youth football leagues." Youth football player safety coach ...

Melky Cabrera Tests Positive For Testosterone, Is Suspended 50 Games, Can Still Win The Batting Title
The Giants' Melky Cabrera wowed us this year. That doughy loser who couldn't cut it in New York or Atlanta managed to hit .346/.390/.516 in 113 games, and for good measure, he won the All-Star Game for the National League. But that will be all for him in 2012, because Cabrera, MLB says, was pumped f...

Joe Gibbs: "I Was Queer For Tight Ends"
Joe Gibbs was just on ESPN Radio and ESPN News with Ryen Russillo and Bram Weinstein, and he had an ... interesting way of expressing his feelings toward tight ends (and toward Charles Oakley, who had just finished his appearance on the show)....

The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....

We Should Have Tape-Delayed More Of The Olympics, Says NBC Sports Chairtroll
Yet again, a reminder that NBC's Olympic coverage was not for you. Not with your internet savvy and your ability to watch online video and your desire for a stream that only freezes up when it's not running ads. The tape-delayed primetime highlight shows were made for real America, the teeming masse...

Rafael Nadal Pulls Out Of U.S. Open With An Injury, So Let's Cue The "Style Of Play" Talk
Rafael Nadal announced this morning that he's pulling out of the U.S. Open, which begins in less than two weeks. What for? An "injury." No one knows what. When Nadal pulled out of the Olympics—he hasn't played a match since he was bounced in the second round of Wimbledon—it was a little unclear what...