el Page 1924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"It's Doug, Not Dude": Philly Scribe Kicked Out Of Minor League Complex Twice For Trying To Watch Ryan Howard Rehab
Bob Brookover, a writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer had a tough time this week trying to watch Ryan Howard take batting practice and field ground balls. He was kicked out of the stadium twice while trying to catch a glimpse of Howard. The mantra: "What are you doing here? Spring training is over....

Watch Shaq Mug For The Cameras With The World's Smallest Primate
On this lazy Sunday morning, enjoy a heartwarming video of a photo shoot featuring Shaquille O'Neal and Fuggles the mouse lemur. Here's a little more info, from the uploader:...

A Sold Out Citi Field Plays Host To An Exercise In Futility Today (And The Mets Are In Toronto)
This afternoon, the terrifyingly-named Jewish orthodox group "Union of Communities for the Purity of the Camp" will be holding a rally against the evils of the internet ("and the damages caused by advanced electronic devices"), according to an article on the internet. The primary targets are what w...

Wes Welker Drops The Contract Negotiations Have "Gotten Worse" Routine
The Wes Welker contract negotiation is becoming a sticky situation. Earlier in the week, Welker let off some steam when he told reporters contract negotiations had gotten worse with the Patriots. The Patriots then leaked word that they were pissed with Welker for going public. Now Welker is saying ...

Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....

Was Pat Burrell Dancing Shirtless In A Philly Bar Last Night?
That's the rumor out of Philadelphia this morning and we'd love to hear more information if you've got it. We'd especially love pictures. Delicious, shirtless (with possible blazer combo), dancing pictures....

Dead Letters: You Crossed A Major Line This Week, Canine Hitler
Subject: Racism and Pit Bulls...

"The Kings Have The Ball": More Hockey Coverage From Los Angeles
You do have to feel for FOX 11's newslady. Hockey highlights are tough if you've never watched a hockey game. Kopitar and Doughty aren't easy names to pronounce. But in the wake of another LA station's Kings ignorance, it's entirely possible that a team is going to win a Stanley Cup without anyone...

Newspaper Reporter Fired For Leaving In Bit About "Coach's Bullshit And Laziness"
Wasn't that a fun time, when a reporter at a little Louisiana newspaper accidentally left in some dummy text that made it to print. Oh, we all had a guffaw or two, yes we did. But then we moved on....

The Los Angeles Kings Are A Hotter Ticket Than The Clippers
All three of the professional teams that call LA's Staples Center home are in the playoffs, and all three are scheduled to play host to opponents this weekend—a total of six games in four days, in fact, beginning with last night:...

It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...

MLB Suspends Umpire Bob Davidson For "Repeated Violations Of Situation Handling Standards"
In what's almost certainly a response to his repeated instances of "Fuck You, Charlie" during an incident at Tuesday's Astros-Phillies game, Major League Baseball has suspended umpire Bob Davidson for one game. The press release reads:...

Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...

Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay
Laz Diaz has one of the largest strike zones in baseball. So presumably A's starter Brandon McCarthy thought he was getting a pitcher's umpire. That kinda didn't work out on Elvis Andrus's bunt in the sixth inning, a rare true suicide squeeze....

Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate
Canadian rocker Geddy Lee sat in some primo seats for a recent Blue Jays game, and the living testament to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame's illegitimacy appeared to enjoy himself—if spending a bit too much of the game checking out his text messages....

Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...

Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....
![Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17mxy031xa9hdjpg.jpg)
Today's Diamondbacks-Rockies Game Was Delayed Due To Bees. Lots Of Bees. [UPDATE]
A swarm of bees delayed today's Arizona-Colorado game in Denver for several minutes during the top of the fifth inning, as the mass of winged insects invaded the first base line and Rockies' dugout before eventually gathering near a photographers' well on the the right field line....

No, NPR Veteran Nina Totenberg Was Not Removed From The Roger Clemens Trial For Eating Potato Chips
Word was circulating yesterday that Nina Totenberg, the 68-year-old legal-affairs reporter for NPR and the doyenne of the Supreme Court press corps, had gotten tossed out of the Roger Clemens trial for eating potato chips. At least, that's what we heard from a tipster....

Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...