el Page 2004 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Christian Ponder Came Out To Play Last Night, And So Did The "Ponder" Puns
Throughout the first three quarters of the Bears-Vikings game last night, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth mentioned Christian Ponder, as well as "ponder" puns, as many times as they possibly could....

Kimbo Slice Is Back, Baby!
Say what you will about the gimmickry that was Kimbo Slice's foray into MMA and boxing, but I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for the pornographer/backyard brawler, and let me tell you why....

IndyCar Officials Announce Driver Dan Wheldon Died In Today's Fiery Crash
AP, via SI.com, reports "Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon died Sunday in a fiery 15-car wreck at Las Vegas Motor Speedway when his car flew over another on Lap 13 and smashed into the wall just outside turn 2. Wheldon was 33. Drivers were told of Wheldon's death in a meeting about two hours afte...

Watch Jim Harbaugh And Jim Schwartz Almost Fight
This pretty much speaks for itself. Harbaugh pulled the ol' Lift Up My Shirt In Exultant Victory And Exuberantly Slap Five With My Opponent. Schwartz wasn't feeling it....

Here's Video Of The Fiery 15-Car Crash At Today's IndyCar Race In Vegas (UPDATE: Dan Wheldon Is Dead)
Just a handful of laps into today's Las Vegas Indy 300, 15 of 34 cars that started the race were involved in a horrific crash that left driver Dan Wheldon seriously injured and airlifted to a hospital. ESPN reported that driver Will Power was also taken to a hospital because of "lower back pain." ...

Why Yes, It Does Look Like A Clemson Coach Had A Michelle Obama Trapper Keeper On The Sidelines
Not sure who. Not sure why. Not sure how. But yes, tipster David S. — who wishes he'd turned his lamp off before photography commenced — is correct in thinking that's an image of First Lady Michelle Obama on an assistant Clemson University football coach's folder last night....

Here's Video Of Eagles TE Brent Celek's Great Catch Against The Redskins
In the first half of what's been collectively branded a do-or-die game for the 1-4 Philadelphia side, the Eagles look like the Eagles were expected to look this season and the Redskins look like the Redskins were expected to look, too. However, Brent Celek — while a serviceable tight end — was nev...

Let's Watch Michigan State's William Gholston Try To Snap Someone's Neck, Punch Someone Else
"Will Gholston had a fine day for the Spartans, but he probably shouldn't have been on the field for the fourth quarter. In the third quarter, Gholston was flagged for piling on Denard Robinson well after the play was over, then wrenching Robinson's helmet around for good measure. Later in the qua...

ESPN Reports The Rangers Are The First Team In A Decade To Make Consecutive World Series Appearances, Is Wrong
In ESPN's words: "The Rangers become the first team in 10 years to play in back-to-back World Series." From a Google search which took .20 seconds to complete: An Oct. 22, 2009 story headlined, "They're back! Phillies advance to World Series for 2nd straight year."...

Wrongfully Imprisoned Man Wins His Pro-Boxing Debut At 52, Retires Undefeated
Despite the apparent disgrace that was last night's Hopkins/Dawson "fight," it wasn't an altogether horrendous evening for the "sport" of boxing. Take 52-year-old Dewey Bozella's professional debut against an 0-3 palooka named Larry Hopkins (ironic, but no relation)....

Chip Kelly And Erin Andrews Want You To Shut Up When They're Speaking
Your morning roundup for Oct. 16, the day we learned that people can actually be crueler to others than we'd imagined they could. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Lenny Dykstra's Old Driver Talks About Not Getting Paid, Auctioning Nails's Stuff On EBay
Aaron Michael Plaat knows what you probably think about Lenny Dykstra. That he's a licorice-chomping prick or a shifty grifter who belongs behind bars, like he currently is. But the 24-year-old Ohio State "go-getter" grad doesn't see him that same way, though he easily should....

Chip Kelly Has Big Balls, According To College GameDay Sign
The University of Oregon doesn't take the field until later tonight, but the College GameDay chanting-and-drawing backdrop warriors were already out for coach Chip Kelly's morning #OccupyHerbstreit appearance....

Watch Manchester City's Mario Balotelli Score On A Wonderful Overhead Kick
This first-half strike in Manchester City's match vs. Aston Villa inspired the commentators to call scorer Mario Balotelli's celebration as "arrogant" and goalkeeper Shay Given reaction as either "leather-footed" or "leaded-footed." Either way, commentator came correct. And either way, Carlos Teve...

Here's Video Of Both Goals From This Morning's Man U/Liverpool Match
Thirteen minutes after Ryan Giggs opened up a hole in the wall wide enough for Stephen Gerrard to put Liverpool ahead 1-0, Chicharito scored a header off a corner to level the match at one. It was his first touch coming off the bench. Great second half. (Ignore 0:57 on in the top video; today's Ch...

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

If Tom Verducci Thinks Justin Verlander Pitched Like Bob Gibson, Tom Verducci Has No Idea Who Bob Gibson Is
Look, please, for pity's sake: Justin Verlander pitched a mediocre game last night. Craggs already said his piece about the frantic efforts of the sports press corps to sculpt the pile of horse poop Verlander left on the pitcher's mound into a living, breathing unicorn. The relentlessly genial Joe P...

This Evening: Logan Morrison, Intentional Dong
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 14, the day the hipster cop came to save the day. Photo via Twitter. And yes, he knew we would post this. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...

Today In Pollyannaish Things Written About The NBA Lockout: Only Michael Jordan Can Save Us
Here is the thing that's sometimes hard to grasp when games are being canceled and no end is in sight: everybody wants the lockout to end. No one is actively being greedy or selfish just because they hate you and don't want you to watch basketball. Both sides have demands and one side or both are go...