el Page 2043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Daniel Sedin Wins The Important Hardware: A Broken Trophy
The NHL awards were last night; we didn't watch. (Mostly a Jay Mohr thing.) So we couldn't tell you what outfit the readers of Seventeen picked out for Jeff Skinner, or if the pointless Jennings Trophy was handed beforehand, like the technical Oscars....
"This Is A Great Day For Canada's Football," Says Canada Coach After Dumb Luck Delays Elimination Three More Days
I'm not sure what lessons we can learn from the U-17 World Cup (I hope none, because the US lost to Uzbekistan last night), but English goaltending looks like it'll be hopeless for the next couple of decades....
Here's Video Of The Adu-To-Donovan-To-Dempsey Goal That Advanced The U.S. To The Gold Cup Final
With a 1-0 victory over Panama, the U.S. men's soccer team will face the winner of the upcoming Mexico/Honduras match in Houston. Yes, the Adu in the headline is Freddy, that not-quite-prodigy who Coach Bob Bradley inserted into the match in the 66th minute. And yes, both Adu's and Donovan's passe...
Here's Video Of A Rapscallion Getting Face Planted On The Chinese Soccer Pitch He Defiled
This video is titled "China Football Special Pretending Footballer hitting Referee 追打裁判." What more needs to be said? Nothing, that's what....
Facing A Season With No NFL, <em>Madden</em>'s Ultimate Team Looks To The Legends
In any discussion of the greatest video game athletes, the Michael Vick of Madden NFL 2004 always makes the cut, and is usually the most recent name on the list. In the eight years since his appearance, sports simulations have fine-tuned their realism, closing the era of logic-defying performances b...
Big Baby Is Struggling Through The Mirror Stage
The last time we checked in on Glen "Big Baby" Davis's development, he had lost track of himself — a classic case of méconnaisance, according to the limited memory I have of my intro to lit theory class. Now, as Danny Ainge declares his annual Boston Armageddon, Davis is confronting new trauma: what...
Jay Mohr And That Wretched "Like A G6" Band Will Perform At The NHL Awards Tonight, Everybody
Here is a list of the non-hockey stars—"some of the biggest names in Hollywood"—the NHL will have on hand tonight for its Las Vegas awards ceremony (7 p.m., Versus): Jon Hamm, Jerry Bruckheimer, Kevin Smith, Jennifer Beals. OK, if not quite A-list, definitely a list. Unfortunately, they accompany re...
Alert: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $105.40
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....
Jennie Finch Has Named Her Second Son Diesel Daigle
Finch, who is now retired but was once at the pinnacle of American softball, whatever that means, gave birth Sunday to eight-pound-two-ounce Diesel Dean Daigle. His older brother is named Ace Shane Daigle. Unconscionable....
Women Apparently Ruining Tennis With Their Excessive Grunting
Wimbledon, the sacred summertime rite celebrating the best and brightest of the tennis world, is once again upon us. But an ominous shadow darkens the crisp white shorts of the world's oldest tennis tournament, a stain that threatens to compromise the very integrity of not only tennis and sports com...
"Football Cops" With Peyton And Eli Manning Gets A Trailer
The photos we were sent from their Brooklyn shoot last month weren't misleading: the Manning Brothers play mustachioed maverick cops, armed only with their department-issue footballs....
The Brilliant Legal Mind Behind Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Brief
We had to ask Mark Cuban for comment on today's legal filing, which consisted of a photo of the Mavericks celebrating a title. It's a dagger of a brief in the face of a suit accusing him of mismanaging the team, and it shuts down any comebacks. But Cuban deflected credit, telling us "it was all the ...
Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days
And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess....
A Sketchbook Of A Season With The Mets
Not because we're particular fans of the Mets, but because we're fans of the dying art of sports cartooning. Over at MyMetsJournal, Joe Petruccio is doing a drawing for every game of the 2011 Mets season, and they're superlative. [My Mets Journal]...
Red Sox Fan Catches Foul Ball With $7 Light Beer, Still Finishes Beer
If you paid that much for a Bud Light, you'd drink it, too....
Miss USA Candidates Attempt To Answer A Question About Evolution, Fail At It
I'll warn you that this video, compiled and edited by the Miami New Times, is uniquely horrific. In it, Miss USA Pageant 2011 contestants attempt to answer — or simply to formulate words in a coherent sentence about the idea proposed — whether or not evolution should be taught in schools. The New ...
Why You Should Never Trust College Hoops Recruiting Rumors
They're all made up! At least the ones on SummerHoopScoop, which suckered in a good number of people with plausible prep and recruiting news over the past few months. "Jonathon Paige" was quickly becoming, if not a major player, a name that kept popping up on message boards in connections with rumor...
Cops: Passenger In Ryan Dunn's Fatal Car Crash Was A Production Assistant On <em>Jackass</em> Sequel
Here's an updated version of the press release West Goshen police sent out yesterday after Jackass star Ryan Dunn crashed his Porsche 911 GT3 early Monday morning in Pennsylvania, killing himself and a passenger. (Click image to enlarge.) The passenger has been identified as 30-year-old Zachary Hart...
Chicken-Hatted Lady Confounds Orsillo And Rem Dawg
In the middle of a ten-run inning, Red Sox broadcasters Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy got distracted by a fan wearing a chicken hat, and completely lost the plot....
NBC Apologizes For Not Baiting Commies Or Something
NBC ran a pretaped segment before the final round at Congressional yesterday in which some soldiers saluted and a bunch of kids recited the pledge and a handful of monuments hulked above the D.C. skyline in a way that suggested that someone in the editing room knows his Leni Riefenstahl. The whole...