el Page 2060 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

They're Still Playing That Crazy-Ass, Everything-At-Once Sport Called Kronum
Hickey went and checked out a new rec league for the fledgling sport-clusterfuck Kronum just outside of Philadelphia over the weekend. "Here's what I ask people," founder Bill Gibson tells the Metro. "Do you listen to your grandparents' music? Well, why are you playing your grandparents' sports?" [M...

Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....

And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....

Snapshot Of America: A Scene From The Philadelphia Crowd
Says reader Scott, who sent this in: "a red-faced, toothless whiskey tango of a Phillies fan taking a pack of Camels back from his kid is quite outstanding." Yes, yes he is. Click to enlarge for your full-size commemorative edition screengrab....

Guy Who Is Not Even Suing Anyone Says Roger McDowell Made His Kid Cry
Roger McDowell is kind of a dick. You may have suspected this had you seen Gloria Allred's mildly erotic press conference last week. And you may have guessed it, too, when MLB suspended him yesterday for two weeks, without pay. But a few of you probably held reservations (because of Allred, because ...

Kings Have At Least One More Year Of Mediocre Basketball Ahead Of Them In Sacramento
"We're going to stay in Sacramento for another year," Kings co-owner George Maloof said today. "We appreciate [the fans'] loyalty to the franchise, and we're going to give Mayor [Kevin] Johnson another try to hopefully bring his vision to reality with a new arena." The vision had better include mone...

How ESPN Engineered Mark Ingram's Magic Moment
There was a very strange minute of television last week. After Ingram was drafted by New Orleans at No. 28 overall — the same position his father went in 1987 — Suzy Kolber presented/confronted the son with an email from the father....

In The Future, All Communications With Ohio State Will Be Via Billboard
It's always enjoyable to see OSU put their foot in their mouths, and it's even more fun to rub it in on the side of the highway. Hot on the heels of TCU's "Little Sisters of the Poor" billboards comes this simple-yet-effective taunt along I-94 in Michigan. [via]...

If MLB Pulls This Video, They Hate America
Your morning roundup for May 2, the day Fox News kept being wrong....

Watch Santa Claus Steal A Ball From A Young Fan At Today's A's/Rangers Game Before MLB Takes The Video Down
Tipster R.R. titled this video, "You're an arse if... or... how Santa steals baseballs from kids during his off-season." Early viewers should feel free to comment with vivid descriptions so Craggs and his Crayolas'll have something to work with on the morrow....

Here's A Picture Of Sammy Sosa's Twins
Tipster Derek S. sends in this bit of photographic proof that "the White Sammy Sosa is at the Heat/Celtics game today." He seems to be right....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The game that could've been an I-5 grudge match between the Seattle SuperSonics and Vancouver Grizzlies will, in fact, be played at 1 p.m. eastern when Memphis visits the Oklahoma City Thunder. So, they'll couch it as the battle between two of the youngest rosters in NBA history and be done with al...

Here's Video Of A V8 Supercar Bursting Into Flames
At the V8 Supercars Championships on Barbagallo Raceway near Perth, Australia, Karl Reindler's No. 21 Fair Dinkum Sheds Racing ride stalled and was then hit by Steve Owen's VIP Petfoods car. Then came the remarkable explosion....

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

Armless Man To Throw Ceremonial First Pitch At Tonight's Dodgers Game
As part of his "Pitch for Awareness" national tour, Tom Willis will throw out the first pitch at tonight's Dodgers/Padres game. He'll do so with one of his feet, on account of the fact that he was born without arms. ("I don't have the greatest pitching speed in the world. My style is heave it and ...

If You Think LeBron James Quit On The Cavs In Last Year's Playoffs, LeBron James Thinks You're "Corny"
LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers faced the Boston Celtics in the second round of last year's NBA playoffs. LeBron James and the Miami Heat will face the Boston Celtics in the second round of this year's NBA playoffs, too!...

Here's Video Of A Swedish Table-Tennis Battle Featuring The Elusive No-Look Spin-Shot Winner
What you see here, according to the ping-pong aficionados at Sport Post, is "international table tennis player Mattias Oversjo deliver[ing] an incredible no look spin shot against fellow Swede, Jörgen Persson."...

Here's Video Of A Very Pretty Goal From Today's Chelsea/Tottenham Hotspur Match
Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur are currently tied at halftime of a match that, if Tottenham wins, would awaken Chelsea from any delusional dream that they can catch, and surpass, Manchester United to win the EPL this season....

The Governor Of Ohio Totally Taunted Browns Fans The Other Day
The governor of Ohio, John Kasich, is the type of chap who'd host a show on Fox News Channel called "Heartland with John Kasich." He went to The Ohio State University. He's also a Steelers fan, division foe of Ohio's two NFL franchises....

Here's A Cartoon Rendering Of Roger McDowell's Recent Conversation With San Francisco Giants Fans
Noted prankster and Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell has been placed on something called "administrative leave" while the team looks into the anti-gay slurs and gestures he publicly offered the other day. This video from ckettering should help the probe....