el Page 2071 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Irvin Wants To Restore 80s-Style Discipline To Miami Football
Today, University of Miami (by way of North Philadelphia) football coach Al Golden took to Twitter with a major announcement. It involved "U Discipline," his desire to "Uphold The Legacy," and a quote from human-hurricane Michael Irvin....

Short White Guy Will Dunk On National TV
Jacob Tucker, the 5'11" Division III YouTube sensation, officially received his invite to the College Slam Dunk Contest, to be held tomorrow night in Houston. You did it, you dogged internet voters. You made a young man's dream come true. (Not Rico Cunningham, the other DIII dunker nominee. You st...

Roberto Clemente's 3,000th Hit, In Glorious Graphic-Novel Form
The following is excerpted from Santiago's 21: The Story of Roberto Clemente, a gorgeous graphic-novel biography of the martyred baseball great. Clemente got his 3,000th hit on Sept. 30, 1972, three months before he died in a plane crash. You can watch video of No. 3,000 here; Santiago's rendering b...

Cats vs. Dogs: Your Last Chance To Determine The Elite Eight
It's the final day of the March Madness Sweet Sixteen, meaning that there's just one spot left for a competitor from each conference. Who's going to be? Grab your razors, because it's going to be a close shave. [Jezebel]...

Scott Raab Shaved "QUITNESS" Into His Head For LeBron's Return
Esquire's Scott Raab, whose LeBron Watch here chronicled Cleveland's inevitable doom last summer, still is not quite cool with LeBron James, the Whore of Akron....

The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....

Floyd Mayweather Bet $50k On The Cavaliers Tonight
Miami was in Cleveland tonight, taking on the Cavaliers, Zydrunas Ilgauskas' former team....

Your Jim Tressel Signing Things Photoshop Roundup
Maybe the real thing (as above) was funny enough for most of you. But those who thirst for the next level, who live to advance human progress—they sent in some doctored photos of the coach at his own personal signing day....

Keeping An Eye On CBS's Eye On Sports Stories About Eye Injuries
We haven't exactly lived up to the return challenge to never post anything regarding "death" or "spin" since we pointed out Eye On Baseball's story on Luis Salazar's lost left eye a few weeks ago, but we do feel it is our new duty to keep an eye on the CBS sports blogs' eye injury stories. Today: Ma...

Science! Picks Your World Series Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, this time simulating the 2011 baseball season 50,000 times to fin...

A Look Back At Kimberly Bell's First Attempt At Embarrassing Barry Bonds
Most of us have read over Kimberly Bell's wacky, disturbing revelations from a San Francisco courtroom by now. Playboy writer Steve Pond first nabbed an interview with her in 2007, and she was far more candid in the magazine than she was in her shrunken-testes-laden testimony at Bonds's trial....

Cats vs. Dogs: The Beasts Go Marching One By One, Hurrah, Hurrah
We're now officially halfway through the Sweet Sixteen in our March Madness tournament, but that doesn't mean it's time to relax. Grab your inhalers, because this is going to leave you breathless. [Jezebel]...

Your Balls Are Not Ready For This Most Manly Of MMA Events
Because two people kicking the shit out of each other in a semi-sanctioned bloodsport wasn't nearly hardcore enough, now we're doing it with only combatants with criminal records. Are you ready for Cages Vs. Cons, an upcoming event from the minds that brought you Felony Fights™? No, of course not,...

Dennis Rommedahl Scores An Absolute Rocket
It may have escaped your attention, what with Wales and England's titanic battle at the Millennium Stadium being so tight and tense, but Norway played Denmark at the weekend and the score finished 1-1. BOOORING!...

Cats vs. Dogs: The Claws And Paws Are Out
After a weekend full of grueling practices and some good nights' sleep, our competitors are back on the battlefield. Grab your smelling salts, because this one may leave you feeling faint. [Jezebel]...

Great Moments In The History Of Sports Anchors Saying "Bulging Dick"
Tipster George sent in a clip of MASN commentator Jim Palmer making a fairly recurring slip-up while discussing Derek Lee's bulging disc on Sunday. Here's a brief look back at the ever-expanding history of sports anchors saying "bulging dick" on air, featuring Palmer, Steve Levy, and Win McMurry. ...

The Third Longest D-1 College Baseball Game Ever Was Played Yesterday And, Presumably, Today
Fresno State beat the U of San Diego in baseball 3-2 last night. It took them 7 hours and 12 minutes to do so, though. At 22 innings played, it's tied for the third longest game in D-1 history. San Diego kept them scoreless through eight, but blew it like a typical 4-16 team....

Your Second Elite Eight Open Thread
Virginia Commonwealth and Kansas will play for the right to face Butler in the Final Four next Saturday. The winner of Kentucky/North Carolina will draw UConn. Let the games begin....