el Page 2106 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

Middle School Trick Play Is Clever, Calls For Superlatives
Driscoll Middle School in Texas pulled off quite the caper recently with this ballsy trick play. Unfortunately—judging by the shoulder in the face and his ensuing being on the ground—#14 might have been injured during the celebration. Irony!...

Here's Video Of "Possibly The Best Defender In The NFL" Taking a Ball To The Face
As of this dispatch, the Jets are down 20-10 to the mighty Detroit Lions. Was this foretold in pregame warmups?...

Monkeys Will Sell Programs, Hear Complaints About Jobs At Today's NASCAR Race
Their names are Rocky and Miki and they're the size of your average housecat. From noon until 2 p.m., they'll be selling souvenir programs at Texas Motor Speedway....

All Record-Breaking Surfer Kelly Slater Needs Are Some Tasty Waves And He's Fine
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Last Guy To Destroy The Vikings Has Another MMA Bout Next Month
Herschel Walker won the 1982 Heisman, cost the Minnesota Vikings five players and eight draft picks in 1989, was on the 1992 U.S. bobsled team, lost on The Apprentice in 2009 and plans his second MMA bout next month....

Notre Dame President: School Is Responsible In Declan Sullivan's Death; Brian Kelly "Has A Bright Future"
"Declan Sullivan was entrusted to our care," Notre Dame President John I. Jenkins says in an email to students, faculty, staff, and alumni, addressing the death of the football team's videographer, "and we failed to keep him safe." Full email below....

Calvin Borel Starts Fistfight In Breeders' Cup Winner's Circle
Borel, angry about fellow jockey Javier Castellano's actions during the Breeders' Cup Marathon, went after him post-race with fists-a-flying....

Now That's What I Call A Buzzer Beater
Down two with two seconds left, Sam Kenny of Kansas's Baker University stole the inbound and threw up a desperation heave from half court. It went in. College basketball is upon us, America. Rejoice. [KCTV]...

Pat Burrell Hook-Up Stories Are Plentiful, Apocryphal, And (Literally) Full Of Shit
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Prep Schoolers Up In Arms Over Plebeian Reporter Pointing Out That Their Crappy Football Team Sucks
The Sidwell Friends football team has been outscored 373-43 this season. When Washington City Paper columnist Dave McKenna pointed that out, he learned that the school's tony pansies are way feistier on the Internet than they are on the field....

Derrick Rose Does Something Point Guards Shouldn't Be Able To Do
Last night's Bulls-Knicks game was a scoring bonanza. While the Knicks prevailed, Derrick Rose had the highlight of the game: this Dominique Wilkins-esque slam that a wiry, 6'3" point guard shouldn't be able to do....

Someone In The Heat Organization Finally Decided To Stop The Assholery
That Ohio kid who wore a LeBron Miami jersey to an Indians game after The Decision? The Heat offered to fly him down for a game, until the public caught wind and someone decided maybe they don't need to celebrate jerks. Again....

How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

The 10 Worst Long-Tenured Head Coaches Of The Past 20 Years
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

What We Talk About When We Talk About A Dog Blowing An Australian Rugby Player (NSFW)
And here's a story from the Australian rugby universe sure to leave your brain a scrambled mess. To sum up: Canberra Raiders center Joel Monaghan decided to get drunkenly intimate with his teammate's dog. A picture was taken, it went viral, now he may be kicked out of the league....

Philadelphians Invited To Loot And Destroy; Yeah, This'll End Well
They're tearing down the Spectrum, but there's still a ton of crap inside. So for $25, fans get three hours alone with the old arena, and may take home whatever's not bolted down. They were probably going to do that anyway....

No, Halloween Revelers, That Wasn't The Real Scott Van Pelt
As far as ESPN anchor Halloween costumes go, the SVP is probably the easiest to pull off. Glasses, a microphone, a razor and some Turtle Wax. And a affable-yet-acerbic wit....

People Are Psyched That Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's Baseball Team Won, According To Chris "Mad Dog" Russo
Professional yelling person Chris Russo, who once yelled some stuff about his Giants, tells our old friend Ben Cohen, "I'm amazed at how many fans are happy for me." [WSJ]...