el Page 2108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Eli Manning's Wife Will Soon Have Two Children To Care For
St. Vincent's is no longer, but there's no stopping the Eli & Abby Manning Birthing Center: the pair is reportedly expecting a baaaaaaby. (Knowing Eli, it was a low wobbler past coverage.) Peyton will not be the cool uncle. [NYPost]...

The Day I Thought I'd Die On A Scissor Lift: What It's Like To Do The Job That Killed Declan Sullivan
Notre Dame would like you to believe that the death of Declan Sullivan Wednesday was a tragic accident but an isolated one, a sad case of bad weather conspiring with terrible misfortune. And that would be wrong....

This Is What Four Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Do In The Bathroom Together
Years of standup-comic banter has been deemed irrelevant now that we have seen what happens when women go to the bathroom together. (Yeah, I don't know what's going on here, either. It has something to do with Roto-Rooter.) [CNET]...

Get Over Yourself, Narc
Here's New York Times drug-sniffing dog Michael S. Schmidt, licking his own crotch over his Jose Guillen-HGH story: "With a lineup filled with castoffs, they have become a remarkable October story, but the Guillen disclosure may put at least a small dent in the positive attention they have generated...

You Don't Tug On Superman's Cape, You Don't Kick Into The Wind (UPDATE WITH VIDEO
A high school football kickoff goes awry backward, as the wind results in a negative 12-yard net....

The Killer Squirrel Epidemic Could Spell America’s Doom
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed "Machine"
Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins]...

The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A High School Football Color Guy In History
2010_1022_Abington_vs_Rockland_Touchdown_Nullified from Norm Caseley on Vimeo....

Cleveland Has A Better Record Than Miami, And Dan Gilbert Does Not Regret A Thing
Dan Gilbert said today that he doesn't regret the open letter he posted for Cavs fans in July. Wise of him. Any middle school girl will allow that it's ill-advised to back down from hate letters written in Comic Sans....

The People Have Spoken, And They Have Said, "Hannah Storm Always Dresses Mad Slutty LOL"
Click to view Last night, Hannah Storm was on hand for Heat-Celtics game coverage and wore a dress and boots. Hannah Storm wears dresses and boots quite often, but it led to an assortment of heavy-breathing on Twitter....

The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A College Football Color Guy In History
Spencer Hall asks us to keep Florida Atlantic color commentator Dave Lamont's spazgasm in perspective: "After all, it's not every day you challenge an entire pressbox to a fight in the middle of a game." Noted.[SBNATION]...

This JaMarcus Russell Interview Is Soul-Crushing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: ex-Raider and substance abuser JaMarcus Russell....

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....

Your "Ah, Hell, Let's Just Root For The Comet" NBA Heat-Celtics Open Thread
The NBA season kicks off tonight. It was quite an offseason, but Juwan Howard's title quest begins in earnest tonight. Comment along as you watch and talk about the other games, too....

Ex-Barcelona President Hired Detectives To Secretly Spy On Players
Spanish weekly Interviu has sent shockwaves through La Liga today by alleging former Barcelona president Joan Laporta paid a gang of private detectives to go out and spy on his players and staff as they went about their daily lives....

Helmet-To-Helmet Hits Are Even More Excruciating With Children Involved
Click to view All the recent talk about football and player health has centered on the NFL and college ranks. This video—origins unknown—is proof that football's safety issues begin even earlier. Step one? Maybe not have the kids do the Oklahoma drill. [Guyism]...

The Invention Of Air: The Myths Of Young Michael Jordan, Deconstructed
There was a time when Michael Jordan was a very different kind of superstar, writes Bethlehem Shoals in this excerpt from FreeDarko's wonderful and wonderfully idiosyncratic Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History. That MJ was edgy and menacing, and he helped make embarrassing music that no one r...

Here's What's Replacing Cleveland's "Witness" Banner
The new banner taking the place of the iconic LeBron image across from the Q? A Sherwin-Williams ad, a tasteful night shot of the city's skyline, showing all four of Cleveland's buildings. [WTAM]...

Elaborate Goal Celebration Sees Your Sharpie And Raises You A Compact Car
Antoine Griezmann of Real Sociedad may be an up-and-coming French soccer star, but that doesn't excuse this ridiculous celebration after his header put the White and Blue up two-nil on Deportivo. Act like you've been there before, young man. [Hot Clicks]...

Here's Your Monday Night Inspiration For Going To The Gym This Week
The 33 Chilean miners who just emerged after two months trapped underground played in a friendly match against their rescuers today and lost 3-2. "[They're] great players," joked Chilean President Sebastián Piñera, "but they're a bit out of shape."...