el Page 2127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Mortensen Is Not Well-Liked, According To Sources Close To Adam Schefter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...

Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi, Insists Steven Gerrard
You'd think that footballers would learn from their mistakes. But as sure as the sun sets, eggs is eggs, and as sure as Ashley Cole will inevitably end up with his oozing hands dancing all over the wrong woman's naked body......

Philadelphia Eagles Lineman Doesn't Like It When <em>True Blood</em> Goes Super Gay
Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, Todd Herremans, posted this lovely Tweet this morning but then soon realized he may come off like a gay vampire-hating fool. Or, at least, the Eagles did. [Where's Weems?]...

Hero Monkey Saves Puppy From Fire In China (UPDATE: Hoax?)
A pipeline explosion in Nanjing has claimed the lives of 13 and injured hundreds. But the bright news comes in the form of this monkey who was photographed running away from the flames carrying this puppy to relative safety. [Now Public]...

This Is What Happens When A Blogger Auditions To Sing The National Anthem
Earlier this year, I came to the Washington Nationals with an idea to sing the anthem at one of their games and write about it. And they were mildly intrigued, until they heard my audition....

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Read This: The Pelé-Maradona Rivalry, Explained
The great Brian Phillips, on the Pelé-Maradona rivalry: "Pelé ... offers the child's narrative of sports heroism, an exuberant conquest of a just and welcoming world. Maradona ... represents the adolescent narrative: an unjust world forced to yield to a superior ego."...

The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....

After Photography Ban, Soccer Game Covered By Cartoonist
League One side Southampton banned all photographers from their stadium for this weekend's match. The visiting team's newspaper handled it well, reducing the comical situation to, well, a comic....

Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....

Desperate For Excitement, Pirates Announcers Melt Down After Big Win
This is Greg Brown (play-by-play) and Steve Blass (childlike enthusiasm) calling the Bucs' walk-off win on Saturday. If Pittsburgh ever has a good season, Blass's head may explode. [h/t Steve]...

Phillies Fan Performs Bottlatio
Let it never be said that the No H8 Campaign doesn't have friends in the Phillies bleachers: Seconds 2 thru 6 of this brief video; three/four people up from the bottom right corner....

Here's Why Canada Should Lose Its Baseball Privileges (with update)
Meet Brent Bowers, manager of the Edmonton Capitals of whatever the Golden Baseball League is....

Enthusiastic Cavs Sportscaster Now Rape Suspect
Travel back with me to those gravy days when people could scream "Cavs Win" and mean it. Like NewsChannel5's weekend sports anchor Terry Brooks did in this 2009 video ......

Not a Good Day for Tiger or Mistress Uchitel
PGA Championship's next week. How's Tiger doing at his warm-up event in Akron?...

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...

Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test! Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch Tyson Gay Become The Fastest Person In The World
Tyson Gay beat Usain Bolt today in the 100m at the IAAF Track and Field Diamond League in Stockholm. It was Bolt's first loss in two years. I'm sure the headlines for this will be extremely tasteful....

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too
Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series....