el Page 2129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

American Footballer’s Soccer-Themed Touchdown Celebration
It was a toss up for the final video treat of the day - between the above, and a rendition of "Fire" by Kasabian, now that it's been unveiled as the official football song for the coming season....

"Those Guys Have All The Fun," Will Make Many "Fun" ESPN Employees Crap Their Pants
There's a creeping paranoia in Bristol thanks to the upcoming 2011 release of Jim Miller's and Tom Shales's massive oral history of ESPN. What filthy skeletons will reveal themselves? Even ESPN execs will have to wait....

Last Night's Winner: Akron, But Not Cleveland. No, Never Cleveland.
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the fine people of Akron, Ohio, who received thanks from LeBron James in a full-page newspaper ad that didn't happen to mention Cleveland or the Cavaliers....

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Phillie Phanatic Immortalized As Art, Promptly Vandalized
Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense....

Your Andre Ethier Photoshop Roundup
Andre Ethier's LAT Magazine photo shoot provided some good fodder for Photoshopping. There were some common motifs, but for the most part, everyone brought something different to the table. Keep sending them in as well; we'll update accordingly....

Breaking: Knife Twisted Further
The rumor is that the new-look Heat will open the season in Cleveland. But because every goddamn thing has to be televised, we'll know for sure when the NBA announced opening week, Christmas and MLK Day matchups tomorrow in primetime. [Plain Dealer]...

The Mysterious Trouble With Jason Whitlock
Despite the fact that he hasn't published a column since May 26, the KC Star said today via phone that their oversized noisemaker, Jason Whitlock, is still currently on staff. He's just on extended vacation. But, still, something's amiss....

Trick Shot Off Vulcan Monument Mired In Controversy
According to YouTube, this is the farthest basketball shot of all time. The makers of this video, The Legendary Shots, are in a pissing contest with another trick shot crew, Dude Perfect over semantics and that superlative. Unnecessary squabbling ahead!...

Miami Bound Cavs Star Thanks Cleveland Fans. Not <em>That</em> One, Obviously.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas took out a full page ad in yesterday's Plain Dealer, thanking the fans for his time spent in Cleveland. It's a nice gesture, but why does the wording leave an odd taste in our mouths?...

Intern Horrors: The Republican Party Makes You Puke
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns tell their saddest and most embarrassing tales of incompetence or incontinence. Today: the perils of campaign canvassing, wrecking the "Country Cruiser," and The Great Poop Duel Of Several Years Ago. Misdirecting Headline Warning!...

Andre Ethier Gets Ridiculous Kobe Bryant Treatment From <em>LAT Magazine</em> — You Know The Drill
In an interview and photo shoot with LA Times Magazine, who've got this thing down, the Dodgers' Andre Ethier reveals himself to live in Hollywood and be a foppish dandy....

Mets Fan Eats It, Tastes Concourse
After the sixth inning of Friday's Mets-Diamondbacks tilt, SNY cameras caught a feathered-haired man assuredly stumbling down the concourse. What happened next was a master's class in "Confidence" and "Probably Too Drunk To Give A Shit." H/Ts Daniel and Jovan....

Does Kim Kardashian Know About This?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LBJ's South Beach Recession: 30 Jobs Lost
Back when the Three Kings were the rejuvenating rage, Miami Heat spokeswoman Lorrie-Ann Diaz said, "We couldn't get [the ticket-sales staff] to go home!'' Until Friday. When 30 of them were laid-off since there were no tickets left to sell....

On the Next Episode of Hard Knocks, Jets Training Camp...
The Jets confirmed that [Darrelle] Revis did not participate in the morning conditioning run at the team's facility in Florham Park, N.J. — a strong indication that he will be a no-show. He will be considered an official holdout if he doesn't show for a 5:30 p.m. team meeting in Cortland. ... This h...

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Diamondbacks Become Immigration Battle Prop
At last night's epic Mets/Diamondbacks showdown at Shi, er, Citi Field, Arizona-immigration-law protesters took to the diamond in the Wonder Twins Power form of Two Guys with Mexican Flags....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....