el Page 2134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brad Lidge Signs A Fake Leg
Here's the Phillies' closer taking the time to sign a prosthetic limb after a recent game. Other players who claim not to have the time to sign for fans? Well, they no longer have a leg to stand on. [Crossing Broad]...
This Is The T-Shirt Every NBA Fan Should Wear When The Miami Heat Come To Your Town
Dan Gilbert has already purchased several thousand of these. You should, too! [KissMyAssLeBron]...
A Wheelchair-Bound Fan Storms Field During CFL Game
Now this is how you disrupt a game. I assume this person is handicapped but the details on his great murderball ride to freedom are scarce. Provide them if you can, please. Thank God they didn't tase him. [YouTube via Orlando Kurtenblog]...
Pacers Screw Indianapolis, Don't Even Kiss Them Afterward
This might be the worst of all taxpayer-funded bailouts: the city of Indianapolis will pay at least $33 million to keep the Pacers for the next three years — not even with a new arena, but just to maintain the status quo....
Erin Andrews: Sideline Princess, TV Dancing Star, Stalking Victim, Wishes To Be Taken More Seriously
So she officially signed back on to the WWL to have her role expanded on College Gameday. She's also going to be spun-off to Good Morning America to do some non-sports features to prove she can be gravely serious....
And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...
Vin Scully Is Still The Best Broadcaster In The Universe Ever, Says Men's Magazine Compiling A List
Does anyone think Vin Scully sucks? Anyone in the world? He seems like the last living universally beloved person on the planet. Besides Santa. And, poor, poor Hawk Harrelson....
They've Got High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes!
Oh, the simple pleasures of a two-and-a-half-sport town. The LeBron shrine is not even entirely ash yet, and this nugget emerges from the Cleveland Browns public-relations machine:...
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....
Baseball Player Doesn't Apologize For Cursing, Proves Mayans Correct
Father shells out for a pair of $45 front-row pro-baseball tickets thus enabling son to tell friends, "My dad's the greatest in the whole world." Then, fate intervenes. It sends a foul ball into the old man's glove, and an obscenity-fueled line from the hirsute right-fielder's tongue into everybody...
Unemployed Wide Receiver: If I Was LeBron, I'd Be An Employed Wide Receiver
Let's be honest: Cleveland wasn't The Decision's biggest victim. Terrell Owens was. Don't believe me? Just interrupt Terrell Owens from his driveway sit-ups regimen and ask Terrell Owens yourself. That's what 104.5 The Zone radio in Nashville did the other day. For its 3 Hour Lunch....
What's The Difference Between John Elway And Barbaro?
Let's just get to what you probably want to know about me, Brian Hickey, the new weekend guy: How to throw me down into your basement well with Precious because you get rammy when swaddled in vulnerable soullessness on Saturdays and Sundays....
Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Final Chapter
The World Cup ends this weekend, so let's take one last look at cultural and historical milestones being rudely — and humorously — interrupted by that most noble of African horns, the vuvuzela....
Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....
Armen Keteyian On A Stool, And Other Strange Scenes From The Greenwich LeBron Stakeout
Our man in Greenwich, Craig Fehrman, describes what it was like to wait for LeBron's Decision under a tree in a tony Connecticut town for hours with hordes of media and curious onlookers....
Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]...
Cleveland Paper Calls Out King Without A Ring
The Plain Dealer gets the last word on LeBron's reign in Cleveland. This will come back to haunt them in photoshop form if he wins rings with the Heat. Meanwhile, here's a great roundup of various front pages this morning. [Charles Apple]...
Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....
Yes, Dennis Green's Son, Who Apparently Writes For ESPN, Had Some Kiddie Porn On His Computer
I almost typed "kitty porn," which I assume is a lesser charge in Connecticut. Green was also charged with possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia. He was gonna have quite a party by himself. [Hartford Courant]...
LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....