el Page 2169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NBC's "Boss Button" Guaranteed To Get You Fired For Watching Olympics At Work
We've received a lot more complaints about NBC that will be shared with you a little later, but this one is particularly amusing and pretty symbolic of the network's general ineptitude this Olympic season....

Braving A Blizzard Now The Only Way To Watch Olympics Live
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bronze
You know how athletes' repetitive actions eventually become muscle memory? It's like that for Daniela Anschütz-Thoms and that dejected, hunched-over pose. You see, Daniela has a nasty habit of coming in fourth....

D-League Ball, Up Close And Personal
The Bakersfield Jam have pioneered the "luxury basketball experience," in which all of the 420 in attendance get front row seats. It's like Medieval Times, with Reece Gaines. [D-League Digest, via SbB]...

Lindsey Jacobellis DQ'd, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
People without access to the internet or cable television or the outside world in general don't know it yet, but snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis drifted off course today and lost her chance at what Tom Brokaw couldn't wait to call "redemption."...

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Rick Reilly® Escalates Personal War With Canada
The Rickster apologies for his lame anti-Canuck jokes by crafting even more lame anti-Canuck jokes and sneaking in a brag about the vindaloo-like qualities of his smoking hot wife. Wait until he hears about the electric Zambonis. [ESPN]...

Last Night's Winner: Rich Guys
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the under-appreciated billionaires who brought America's Cup back where it belongs: A snooty American yacht club....

So Who's The ESPN Employee Calling Stu Scott An A-Hole On Reddit?
Either a well-versed prankster has invaded Reddit's popular IAMA anonymous q-and-a, or, once again, Bristol has a reckless scuttlebutt willing to (anonymously) unload about Scott, Chris Berman, Michelle Beadle, Michael Wilbon and more....

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...

Even If You're Alone, At Least You're Not Marrying La La
La La Vazquez, the shrinking violet who whipped Mavericks fans into a racist frenzy, is making an honest man of Carmelo Anthony....

No, The Sports Fella Did Not Hope For A Dead Georgian Luger
Thanks to the eighty of you who drew our attention to Bill Simmons retro Winter Olympics column, and his hankering for luge accidents. You can stop now....

Bill Plaschke, Master Of Finding Controversy Where None Exists
Plaschke's manufactured outrage of the day: "there was no makeshift memorial of flowers or cards, there was no visible memory" of Nodar Kumaritashvili. The photo that runs with the story? A makeshift memorial of flowers and cards. [MSTI]...

Everyone On The Showtime Lakers Was Having Sex, All The Time
From a new Jerry West biography, it's alleged that players would take women into the sauna after games, before emerging to meet the media. Hopefully not before Magic's first retirement press conference. [Milwaukee J-S]...

Montreal Columnist Breaks Out The Nazi Metaphor A Little Prematurely
The Flyers have a reputation as a dirty team. Fine. It's okay to hate them. But a February match-up between two teams barely in the playoff picture is no reason to resort to Hitler comparisons. Save it for the playoffs....

With The Cracking Of The Olympic Hippie Skull, The Games Begin In Earnest
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Maple Street Press Is Sorry For Giving/Making The 2010 Cubs Anal
"Continuing with yesterday's theme of things we learned while pulling together the 2010 Annuals, there was a significant one from the Cubs Annual: Derrek Lee is a little taller than we thought."[MapleStreetPress]...

The One Where Brandon Rush Gets A Lap Dance On A Dirty Couch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...

The Seven Things You Learn From Every Curling Story
Nothing says Winter Olympics like a "clueless reporter tries curling" story. (Except maybe the "here's a black Winter Olympian!" story.) We take you through a typical curling experience, as seen through the eyes of every reporter ever....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Longhorn Girl?
To commemorate the emergence of Arielle Whatsherface, the new hot, young teenager that collapsed the internet with her winsome good looks, the Cultural Oddsmaker column makes a brief return....