el Page 2174 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
Dear Bill Simmons, Please Stop Feeling My Pain For Me
I know many of you find Simmons bashing a tiresome pursuit, so I will keep this as civil as I possibly can....
John Terry's Affair With Teammate's Girl Manages To Explode English Media Law
An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge....
Donovan McNabb Joins The Psychic Friends Network
McNabb says he knows he'll be back in Philly next year, because his psychic told him so. She also predicted playoffs but no Super Bowl ring, though you don't need to be psychic to know that. [Philly Daily News]...
The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...
FSN's Charissa Thompson Gave Some Interesting Twitter Commentary About Last Night's SOTU
Thompson, a sideline princess for Fox Sports and former "Best Damn" co-host, took to Twitter last night to share her thoughts on President Obama's SOTU address. She was reluctant, at first, but eventually just HAD to say something....
Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...
What <i>Jimmie Johnson 24/7</i> Doesn't Teach You About NASCAR (Hint: Everything)
Here's what I learned about stock car racing last night: It requires a lot of shuttle runs, garage floors are never dirty, and the people who do it live in gigantic stainless steel kitchens (which are also never dirty.)...
And ESPN Runs, Runs So Far Away From Paul Shirley
Here's their entire statement: "He was a part-time freelance contributor. The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company's views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN."...
The History Of Human Technological Advancement Has Led Up to This
The NFL announced plans to offer its RedZone Channel on cell phones starting next season. That sound you just heard was millions of people orgasming at once. [WSJ]...
Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...
Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...
It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....
Bourbon Street Looked Like The Most Fun Place On Earth Last Night
Now, this is not Detroit, man. Nola.com has amazing footage of the joyful chaos on Bourbon Street last night after Garrett Hartley split the uprights (he's apparently a soothsayer, too). There's brassy marching, unreserved embracing and abundant whodatting! [ViaSBNation]...
This Dog Likes Racing Dirt Bikes
Well, I wouldn't say "likes racing" them, so much as "clings to the handlebars frozen in terror as his owner races them."...
Wings Fans Do Their Little Turn On The Catwalk, Get Arrested
The good thing about hockey arenas, as opposed to baseball or football stadiums, is that there really are no nosebleed seats. Three Red Wings fans challenged that notion by climbing onto the catwalks during last night's game....
This Is A Thing That Happened: Digger Phelps Dancing With A Clemson Cheerleader, And Not Badly
H/T reader Joseph A. [YouTube]...
Behind The Scenes Of The Classic "Nothin' But Net" Commercial
Larry Bird had to ask "What if I play you for it?" due to Jordan's gambling controversy. Per his contract, MJ could wear whatever he wanted and chose that awful Magic Eye-looking ensemble. And more great anecdotes via CNBC....
Whites-Only Basketball League Promoter Is Determined To Make His Point. Badly.
Bomani Jones interviewed Don "Moose" Lewis, the brains behind the controversial all-white basketball league. Lewis does his best to explain how the league is not racist or segregated ("it's like a private club") but not very well. Fascinating stuff. [HardcoreSportsRadio]...