el Page 2190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

All You Need To Know About Last Night's Fight
From the AP story: "Cotto's wife and child, who were at ringside, left after the ninth round, unable to watch the beating any longer." Cue Pretty Boy Floyd dodging a fight in 3, 2, 1... [AP]...

To Be Fair, I'd Like To See How Your Team Does Without A Quarterback
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
You got Tennessee-Ole Miss on CBS. Go forth and watch collegiate football. Drink beer if you wish. Try to avoid getting arrested....

The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....

The One Where The Texas Rangers Inform Us Their Six-Shooters Are Not Whores
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

LeBron James Pays Fitting Tribute To Jordan, Gives Fans New Overpriced Jersey To Buy
LeBron plans to surrender his No. 23 in MJ's honor. The real tribute here is less in the number change than in the shrewd business sense to introduce some No. 6 LeBron merch a month before Christmas....

Ten Questions To Ask A Man Before You Agree to Marry Him
It's been my experience in life that, while men are more likely to bitch about the institution of marriage, it's WOMEN who more often end up regretting getting hitched....

Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...

A Grim Look At Tim Tebow's Future?
Buried in a flimsy trend story about the, er....resurrection of "John 3:16" madness (courtesy of YouKnowWho, natch) is a more fascinating nugget about the true originator of the craze—who is serving three life terms in a California prison....

Bill Self Has A Discerning Eye For Talent, Ass
Self, on former Kansas big man Darnell Jackson: "I recruited Darnell because I liked his smile and he had a nice butt, to be honest with you." [KUsports.com, h/t Ryan C.]...

Derek Jeter Has Really Let Himself Go Since...Last Wednesday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Breaking News: Red Sox Fan Is Terrible Human
A college newspaper columnist wrote the douchiest column in the history of douchey college newspaper columns. What's the sports angle? Check the author's headshot. There's your sports angle....

The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....

John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...

NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....

IceGators Coach Defends His Stick Throwing Temper Tantrum
Brent Sapergia says throwing all his team's equipment on the ice wasn't a stunt. He was just really, really mad! (Says the refs weren't looking out for his players.) Tough, but fair. [Puck Daddy]...

No One Likes Donald Sterling, Part 783 (UPDATE)
The league has no plans to discipline, comment on or even cough pointedly in the direction of Sterling, so activists are passing around a protest petition that David Stern can blithely ignore, too. Faaantastic!...

Jim Nantz Just Can't Find A Woman Who Won't Cost Him Boatloads Of Money
"I have champagne taste on a beer budget . . . I love what I do, but the bottom line is that I'm not making enough to pay for myself." [Page Six photo: Big Lead]...

The Stephen A. Smith Happy Hour Begins At Noon Today
Sock? Still retired. Enthusiastic Guild letter after the jump....

HuffPo's Super-Exciting, Cutting-Edge Sports Section Debuts ... With A Mike Lupica Column
Your favorite source for news off the AP wire and Robert Redford columns has deigned to launch a sports section, and it will surely revolutionize sports journalism just as soon as Mike Lupica is done talking about himself. [Huffington Post]...