el Page 2197 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Texas A&M Yell Leaders Aren't Doing Aggie Fans Any Favors
The A&M CheerYell Leaders fired up for the K-State game with a stunning rendition of "Ding Dong Song." (NSFW.) And put it on YouTube for some reason. They lost 62-14, but you can't really keep score on embarrassment. [SoYoked]...

Paranoid Angels Fans Accuse Mariano Rivera Of Throwing Spitballs
Angels fans have lost their freaking minds over the video below, which allegedly catches Yankees closer Mariano Rivera in the act of spitting on a baseball, right there in front of God and Joe Buck and 45,000 fans....

Yes, That Was Pat Sajak And A-Rod Groping Jeter's Buttocks
Alex Rodriguez's magic tush massage could not overcome the haunting Sajak voodoo gaze as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim staved off the Yankee gorilla trouncing for one more day. Something called Jeff Mathis is today's hero....

Bosom Buddies: A Correspondence With Melissa Lima
This job, unlike many others in "sports media," provides plenty of absurd scenarios on a weekly basis. But this one, involving Jose Lima's ex-wife, Melissa, thrusts us headlong into Eugene Ionesco territory....

Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....

Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....

Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....

Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....

A Flying Squirrel Mascot Is Not Totally Nuts
The winning entry in the "name Richmond, Virginia's new minor league baseball team" contest is: The Flying Squirrels. I can't wait for their giant foam mascot to scare the crap out of little children. [WTVR/Times-Dispatch]...

Jim Nantz' Divorce Trial Gets Its Own Sad Play-By-Play
CBS's omnipresent talking guy Jim Nantz is divorcing his wife of 26 years. This is not at all scandalous or shocking, yet the local newspaper provided us all with a depressing blow-by-blow that just might break your heart....

Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...

Your Late Games Open Thread
Bernie Kosar is back in Cleveland as a consultant. And, if things keep up, maybe as starting QB. Discuss Tenn/NE in the comments, unless you're stuck with another "football" game. [Plain Dealer]...

Oilers' Souray None Too Pleased With Ex's 'Erotic Revue'
I'm not sure, but I think this might be the first time we've linked to a Robin Leach story....

It's A Dutiful Play In The Neighborhood
You know it's one of those postseasons when the umps are getting ripped even for getting the calls correct....

David Wells Isn't Ashamed Of His Bodily Functions
If I told you one of TBS' studio crew farted live on the air, then proudly admitted it to his viewing audience, would it have taken you long to guess which one?...

No One Really Knows If The Angels-Yankees Game Will Be Played Tonight Or Not
With a little more than two hours remaining before the scheduled first pitch, we're not sure if Game 2 of the ALCS between the Yankees and Angels will be played or not....

The Kid Who Threw That On The Pitch Had Some Balls
Strange things are afoot in the Premiere League. Sunderland got a break when the lone goal of the match was scored by Darren Bent after the ball caromed off a beach ball thrown on the field by some punk kid....

Two Men And A Little Tommy
Kobe Byrant, the newly single Frank McCourt, and a very sleepy Tommy Lasorda took in Game 2 of the NLCS today. Of course, this was in the fourth inning, so the trio is probably already eating dinner in Malibu....

Mike Tyson Says It Was A Pleasure To Have Known, Bitten Evander Holyfield
Oprah gave Mike Tyson a chance to apologize to Evander Holyfield for real today. Tyson passed. He does more dancing in these 30 seconds than he did in his entire career. What a champion! [Oprah]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Citizens Bank Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Philadelphia Phillies' Citizens Bank Park....