el Page 2225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe This Is Why They Called Him "The Lip"

We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....

Jeremy Mayfield Goes To War Against NASCAR And His "Whore" Stepmom

As noted last night, NASCAR says that Jeremy Mayfield failed another drug test, but he has fired back with even more outrageous countercharges—like implying NASCAR's chairman is on drugs and flat-out accusing his stepmother of murdering his father....

Rick Reilly® In A One-Piece: Toothsome

Reilly® squeezes into a LZR Racer in tonight's edition of that Homecoming show no one is watching. This one features Michael Phelps and a hack columnist's left nipple. [ESPN]...

And For His Next Trick, Sun Tzu Will Write The Sequel To <i>All The Pretty Horses</i>

"The strain, my dear, the strain. I have attended wars which seemed less emotional experiences than Pony Club polo matches." Note to columnists: War is never a good analogy. Especially when you're writing about tony ponies. [Daily Mail]...

Jeremy Mayfield Fails Meth Test (Not A Deadspin Classic Post)

NASCAR has been looking for something, anything to get a judge to reinstate Jeremy Mayfield's ban after testing positive for meth. Perhaps testing positive for it again last week will do the trick....

Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass

This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...

Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At

I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....

Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else

Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...

Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)

Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....

No Wonder Why He Added The Extra "T"

"Proof that this list is not just for women, Josh Elliott is a co-anchor of ESPN's SportsCenter. But, if you drop one of the t's, you can easily come across the well-endowed star of "Mating Season."[Mediaite]...

"Groupie Expert" Lets People Know Why Steve McNair Was Killed

The Daily Beast explores the unseemly rules of sports mistressing, ones that Sahel Kazemi or Steve McNair blatantly ignored. If only they'd played within these imaginary, inhuman guidelines for their affair, both would be alive today....

Rick Morrissey Uses Dead Baseball Scribe As A Soapbox For Blog Rant

Here's a thoroughly obnoxious column by the Chicago Tribune's Rick Morrissey in which he picks up the corpse of Jerome Holtzman and swings it in the general direction of — what else? — the blogosphere....

AP's Dumb Baseball Poll And The Durable Myth Of The Overpaid Ballplayer

The Associated Press and Knowledge Networks recently teamed up for a state-of-baseball poll that revealed nothing whatsoever except the silly dogmas of the sort of people who commission state-of-baseball polls, i.e. sportswriters....

Pedro Martinez: Philadelphia Phillies

Level of excitement had this happened in 2004: 9. Level of excitement in 2009: 4. Still? Number of red Martinez jersey-shirts sold at Modell's over the weekend?: 8,016 [Cherry Hill Courier Post/PHOTO: EveryJoe]...

America's Sideline Chin Bruise

If you can bear to look, here's the visual evidence of the vicious attack on Erin Andrews' chin. It looks like she'll be okay, but how will we ever heal the scars on the nation's psyche? [Right Field Bleachers]...

You Knew You Could Count On Shaq For A Micheal Jackson [<i>Sic</i>] Tribute

The Next "Athlete And Animals" Scandal? Kangaroo Boxing

Burying the lede: "Rangers SS Omar Vizquel surprised his coaches and teammates by bringing his three kangaroos into the clubhouse before the game." Omar Vizquel has three pet kangaroos? How is this not a movie script? [Jorge Says No]...

Dana White Promises Scary Russian Man Will Be Next To Fight Brock Lesnar

Messy contractual things have to be finalized but White is determined to have Fedor Emelianenko step in the cage with the angry ex-professional wrestler and controversial UFC heavyweight champion. Emelianenko has disposed of much bigger men before. [Cage Writer]...

New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics

Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...

Mets Fans Even Boo Their Rotten Apple

More surprising: the Mets hitting back-to-back home runs, or Citi Field's Home Run Apple engineered without that possibility in mind? The Apple finally emerged minutes after the second homer, giving the crowd something to cheer about, for once. [Star-Ledger]...