el Page 2231 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Once Again, Frank Deford Can't Hide His Horny Old Manliness
Frank Deford has always been infatuated with vivacious young tennis stars, so it's not surprising he'd offer his take on the recent ITF grunt ban considerations with a creepy I'm-typing-this-pantsless approach. SportressofBlogitude gives the porny rundown on Deford's latest column....

Two Sportswriters You Meet In Hell
Yesterday, we shared with you one delightful tale about Phil Mickelson and everyone's favorite deadline Napoleon, Mike Lupica. To this, a SportsJournalists.com anonym has added another — one in which Mitch Albom makes a cameo, and Loopy gets his comeuppance....

The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....

Off-Duty Cop Shoots Two People In Angels' Parking Lot
An incident in the parking lot at Angel Stadium last night began when two men hit another man in the head in with a beer bottle and ended when the third man pulled out his gun and shot them....

LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...

L.A.'s World Champion Looters In Action
The Times has video footage of Laker fans looting a convenience store and it's an impressive display of teamwork, precision, and commitment—unlike the actual NBA Finals. [LA Times]...

Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....

Phil Mickelson Ruined Mike Lupica's U.S. Open
Many in sports media have seen New York Daily News writer Mike Lupica's arrogant-little-sonuvabitch-side firsthand, but never has there been a Lupica story that encapsulates the tiny prick's hubris than the one Patrick Sauer witnessed during the U.S. Open....

Sportswear Company Outplays Nike, Loses Anyway
It's a classic underdog tale—an upstart company devises a brilliant product plan, employs pluck and good fortune to make their dream a reality, and takes on the big boys....and then is summarily crushed by a large, multinational corporation....

Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....

Phil Jackson Only Interested In Coaching Home Games
Jackson says he would consider letting assistant Kurt Rambis coach some road games next season, so that the old man wouldn't have to travel so much. And maybe Kobe could only play on even-numbered Saturdays! [ESPN]...

The Superstars Loses Its Superstar
By now you've certainly seen the video of Joanna Krupa going all Terrell Owens on....Terrell Owens (language NSFW), but if you didn't actually watch "The Superstars" last night than you must hate Americana and apple pie, baby....

The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....

The Incredible Dulk Is "Splendiferously Lithe," And Other Required Reading (Update)
Simple question from an intrepid reader: "Who is Gisela Dulko and why have I never heard of her before? And by heard of, I mean seen — she just beat Sharapova in an almost happy tissue inducing match." I-Team, unite!...

Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green
Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]...

Kellen Winslow Kindly Requests You Make No More References To Him Being A F*$#ing Soldier
Besides being a talented, but injury-prone tight end, Kellen Winslow is best known for his patriotic tirade against those kamikaze Tennessee Volunteers. But Winslow's less combustible now, so he doesn't appreciate any references to it, even if it's playfully complimentary....

Jay Feely Would Like To Set The Record Straight
"I have never said I believed Obama to be a socialist Muslim. It does bother me he is unwilling to defend America's greatness." [JayFeely]...

The Philadelphia Flyers Need To Stop Boozin' And Coozin', GM Says
Okay, that's not exactly what he said. But Flyers' GM Paul Holmgren does think his young team's nightlife activities may have led to some "fatigue" issues heading into the playoffs....

When On Hannity, Jay Feely Does As The Hannitys Do
What's new with Jay Feely? Well, he eagled the par-5 eighth at Liberty National on Monday, and he's all fired up. Oh, and later that day, he went on Hannity and told the nation he's scared of President Obama....