el Page 2234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How The Cardinals Could Lose Albert Pujols
I'm not sure people realize how possible it is that Albert Pujols won't be a Cardinal in three years. And every day, every loss, every solo Pujols homer, makes it a little more likely to happen....

Nice Knowing You, Loud Tennis Grunter People
Tennis fans have enough crazy to distract them — crazy fans, crazy parents, Damir Dokic — so it makes complete sense for the International Tennis Federation to consider further penalizing the plain-old crazy grunters....

Joe Buck's Phony Outrage Over Joe Buck's Show
Ignore all the pretend handwringing today. Artie Lange gave last night's Joe Buck Dry Humor And Sporting Chit-Chat Extravaganza exactly what it wanted. Something that could be manufactured into a controversy, and something about which Joe Buck could be virtuous....

Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
Even if your cable package went out last night, you've probably heard about the rather tepid debut of "Joe Buck Live." Tepid, until Howard Stern joke monkey Artie Lange destroyed everything Joe Buck holds dear on live television....

ESPN Attempts To Spike College World Series Ratings With Sideline Princess Fanny-Cam
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Jeff Pearlman Apologizes For Becoming Mike Lupica When He Ripped Mike Lupica
" Maybe, in the act of jabbing Mike Lupica, I've actually become Mike Lupica. If so, it's not the way I want to live. I took the Lupica post down."[JeffPearlman/GraneyandthePig]...

Hockey Insanely Popular (For Just One Night)
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most-watched NHL game in 36 years. So maybe when the league starts up again in four months, some of those people 8 million people will remember it exists! [LiveFeed]...

ESPN Ombudsperson Of Significant Interest: Don Ohlmeyer
The quest to replace ESPN's Le Anne Schreiber as the WWL's ombudsperson might be near completion if stars align: Venerable sports producer and consummate BSD Don Ohlmeyer is rumored to be the lead candidate for the position, sourcepersons say....

Golf Coverage Is A Little Too Reverential For Boomer
Chris Berman, on his detractors: "Constructive criticism is great, but to say I have an act would be missing the point. You're never going to please everyone anyway." So he's got that goin' for him, which is nice. [Watchdog]...

College Baseball Fans Not Used To Being On TV
Mike Irwin of KFSM in Fayetteville would just like to talk about Arkansas baseball, but some slack-jawed SEC fans just can't resist a chance to be on the teevee. Get your hands off him, you damn dirty apes!...

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

Mike Florio Makes The Leap From Loathsome Gossip To Mainstream Building Block
Yesterday it was announced that feisty little Italian, Mike Florio, and his Pro Football Talk site were partnering with NBC Sports. The timeliness of the move after the Blogs With Balls weekend was telling....

Michael Phelps' Life Is A Whimsical Morality Tale
Michael Phelps has "written" a children's book called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Life lessons include strip club tipping etiquette and when to check-raise on Jacks or better before the flop. [Canadian Press]...

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....

Phil Jackson: Greatest Coach Ever or Luckiest Schlub Of All Time?
Phil Jackson now has more NBA titles than any coach in NBA history—so he's the best coach in NBA history, right? Or could a diaper-wearing monkey win six titles with Michael Jordan on his team? Fight!...

Kidnappers Take Yorvit Torrealba's Son, Mock His Batting Average
All is well now that Yorvit Torrealba's son has been rescued from kidnappers in Venezuela and brought to the United States, but the hardest part of the boy's ordeal was trying defend Dad's .220 batting average to his captors....

Laker Riots Go Off Without A Hitch
Store fronts smashed? Check. Car windows stomped on? Done. Shoe store looted? You betcha. Trash cans thrown at cops? Absolutely. It's not an official championship until your downtown gets roughed up a little bit, am I right, Los Angeles?...

Pointless Sunday Gallery Post: Things Dangled Out of Windows
So, hi. It's Sunday. I'm tired. You're tired. Or you're probably outside, sprawled out under a sycamore, drinking lemonade, daydreaming about that pretty fish you caught one time at the big lake, as a young woman paints your toes....

Shin-Soo Choo Is Korean For "Don Johnson"
Tonight the Indians are giving away an undisclosed number of Shin-Soo Choo '80s-style bobbleheads. You know, back when South Korea was a great place to live. [Slanch Report]...

Ladies, Meet The Splash 'Stache
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...