el Page 2253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cavaliers Seem Pretty Happy With Themselves Right Now
If the NBA were a horrible Michael Bay movie, this is the part where the bad guy would mutter "I fear we've awakened a sleeping giant." Then a Boston Celtics flag would flutter in slow-motion.*...

A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....

Reed Johnson Does Not Believe In Goat Stories
Even though another goat was found hanging from the arm of Harry Caray, right fielder Reed Johnson still manages to make the ladies swoon with his wall-climbing abilities. [Total Sports]...

Masters Of Puppets I'm Pulling Your Strings
Barring a miraculous Tiger comeback or something extraordinary like Augusta being overtaken by Somali pirates, you can consider this the last post of the day on Easter Sunday. It's your Easter DUAN....

At Least One Guy Still Has Michael Vick's Back
Disgraced illegal dog fight promoter Michael Vick doesn't have a lot of friends left in this world, but we now know he has at least one die-hard supporter at the Tucson Botanical Gardens....

High School Player Suits Up For Minor League Exhibition, Loses Eligibility For One Year
Here's another example of sensible well-meaning rules being used to bash an unsuspecting victim over the head for no good reason....

How Does This Help Us Play Soccer Again?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Tact? ESPN.com Knows Not Of This Thing You Call "Tact"
Yesterday, Dashiell noticed an unfortunate NASCAR commercial running during ESPN's coverage of Nick Adenhart. The general consensus was to give the WWL a pass. Today, however, no dice. What the hell is wrong with ESPN.com?...

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

Boob-Looking Announcer Gains Redemption
Former Iowa broadcaster Ed Podolak—whose only crime was loving life—will be back in the booth for Iowa football games next fall. That is just and wise. [The Gazette]...

Well, That's One Way To Fire Your Trainer
Miguel Cotto's split with his uncle/manager Evangelista Cotto on Wednesday was completely peaceful, except for the ugly brawl and the cinder block through the window of his new jaguar....

Programming Notes
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ESPN Brings Out The Sad Trombone
When your whole reason for being is fun and games, it's tough to strike the right tone when real life intrudes on your happy time. (Ahem.) On live TV—you win some, you lose some....

All Right, I'll Attend Your Stinking Workouts
After saying that he wouldn't attend the Bills' voluntary offseason conditioning program because it was, well, voluntary, Terrell Owens changes his mind and shows up on Wednesday. [The Buffalo News]...

UNC Student Burned But Proud
As we learned in Lord of the Flies, dancing near bonfires often leads to the collapse of the social structure, and on occasion a trip to the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center....

Angels Pitcher Nick Adenhart Killed In Auto Accident
This is sad. Just hours after he finished pitching six scoreless innings for the Angels last night, the 22-year-old pitcher has died....

Michael Phelps Is Enjoying His Swimming Exile
What's a famously rich, famously awkward swimming champion to do, when he's banned from the pool for too much outrageous behavior? Horrifying clubgoers with drunken makeout sessions is a good place to start....

Here's Your 'Man Streaks Little League Game' Story For Today
Port St. Lucie (Fla.) police are looking for a man who sped naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game on Thursday. Yeah, might as well set your sights high, dude....

Things Got A Bit Nuts In Chapel Hill Monday Night
I'm not good at estimating crowds, but there must be at least 200 people down there on the intersection of Franklin and Columbia. (Give or take 30,000.) Street signs were destroyed, things were set ablaze, and high-voltage infrastructure was heroically scaled. What is it about mobs that makes them l...