el Page 2285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Apparently, The NHL Won't Stand for Sean Avery's Sloppy Seconds
Well, that was quick. After Dallas Stars agitator Sean Avery made those charming comments about "sloppy seconds" this morning to TSN, the NHL suspended him indefinitely. So his valiant return to Canada against the Calgary Flames this evening will have to wait a little while longer. Just to recap, th...
"Operation Shutdown" (Still) Proceeding As Planned
Former Blue Jay/Padre/Astro/Met/Pirate Derek Bell was arrested last night in his hometown of Tampa and charged with four counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. It was his second drug-related arrest in three years and I haven't read a lot of statements we've read that are sadder than "Arrest rec...
Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...
Gun Safety Tips From Plaxico Burress
If you're looking for a bedtime story for your children tonight, may we suggest the felony criminal complaint of one Plaxico M. Burress. (It needs the initial, don't you think?) It's very short, but also very compelling and there's a life lesson in there for all of us. Namely, put down the wine befo...
The Curious Case of Fred Hickman
Most of you probably don't remember Fred Hickman's somewhat brief tenure as an ESPN anchor and talking head and most of you also were probably unaware that the man is no longer working for them. Hickman was signed on from the YES network in 2004 to a significant contract to come over to the WWL, due...
If The Dodgers Sign Manny Ramirez, A Child May Go Hungry
Frank and Jamie McCourt have a proposition for you, Dodgers fans. Instead of signing Manny Ramirez and CC Sabathia to put a competitive team on the field, wouldn't you rather have 50 brand new Little League fields? They'll even throw in some bats and a bucket or two of baseballs. Think about it, cit...
"Wonderful Boyfriend" Makes Up Other Half Of Iowa Bathroom Sex Team
A thought occurred to me this weekend—we all know the face and identity of the the um ... "unfortunate" woman who got it on with a complete stranger in a Metrodome bathroom while her husband sat in the seats not wondering what was taking so long. (It helps that she's now given two interviews to loca...
Michael Phelps Doesn't Need Your $5,000,000
We still have no conclusive evidence that explains the Michael Phelps Phenomenon—after all, he is just a swimmer—but perhaps our esteemed colleague Señor Tuffy Pants, M.D., does need to reconsider his conclusion that Aqua Boy is not "exceptionally rich." The guy turns down more multi-million endorse...
Shouldn't Winning Be More Enjoyable?
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...
Boom Goes The Dynamite, As They Say
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
To Watch Tonight: Just You and Me Now, Sport
What to watch while taking the Plaxico Burress gun safety lesson from an Ohio police chief... • College Basketball: UNC-Asheville at North Carolina (6:30 pm ET) [FSN] - In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, was this trip really necessary? • News: "60 Minutes" (7:00ish pm ET) [CBS] - Michael Phelps wi...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: How to Stuff a Wild Deadspin
• 3:00 — Movie: In the Valley of Elah [MAX] - Woman stands topless in front of you... "ma'am" could be taken as an insult. • 3:30 — Golf: LG Skins Game, Back Nine [ABC] - After nine holes, Not Tiger is leading Not Tiger while Not Tiger has yet to earn a skin yet. If you're a betting reader, we'd tak...
Wherein We Probe the Phelps Phenomenon on DUAN
So Michael Phelps has chosen the Vegas nightclub worker and oft-naked Caroline Pal (the one on the right) to take home to mother after two months of dating. (The link will take you to proof of the oft-naked part if nothing else.) We don't have to imagine Mom's surprise face; we saw it eight times or...
To Watch Tonight: Woo! Alright! We're Being Invaded!
What to watch while creating your Christmas ornaments out of reindeer poo... • College Football: Kentucky at Tennessee (6:30 pm ET) [ESPN2] - If you lash these two rosters together, you might get one decent Top 25 squad. We won't comment on whether this would be true of the two states. • College Foo...
Brian Burke Officially In As President, GM of Terrible Hockey Team
Starting today, the Toronto Maple Leafs can scratch "incompetent and/or old GM" off the list of reasons why they never win anything. Yes, in the least surprising news to come out of the NHL since Gary Bettman admitted he didn't know how to read or write, the Leafs announced that Brian Burke will ta...
Video Coordinator, Deon Thompson and Some Other Tar Heels Player Act Heroically
Fine, it was Tyler Hansbrough. But, share the headlines, right? The details: this past Thanksgiving Day, while the North Carolina mens basketball team sat on a plane, anxious to flee annoyingly-utopic Maui for Chapel Hill, something went horribly wrong. The Love Guru began showing as the in-flight ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: It's a Hard-Knock Life for Us
• 12:00 — Movie: Annie [ABC Family] - If your team loses today, you just stick out your chin and grin and say... • 12:00 — Sport: College Football - Georgia Tech at Georgia [CBS] - Stone Mountain will be leveled by the sheer force of will emitted from this game. This will not be enough to convince s...
Train Wreck of a Woman Who Had Hawkeye Sex in Bathroom Stall Comes Clean
We featured this as a quicklink, but given the amount of attention this poor woman is getting due to her unfortunate drunken sexcapades at the Iowa/Minnesota game last week, it's probably worth another look....
Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...