el Page 2331 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kansas, Memphis Sprint Past Everybody
Storming The Floor wraps up last night's non-live-blogged Final Four action....

Your North Carolina-Kansas Live Blog
Now, at last, is the Jayhawks' chance to extract some measure of revenge against Huckleberry Roy Williams, he who doesn't comprehend the enmity, by denying him another title that he couldn't win them. In this likely shootout, a lot hinges on whether the three-man rotation of Sasha Kaun (Sasha Kaun!)...

Fiery NASCAR Crash Was The Work Of Scheming Terrorist Fire Ants
You always wondered if NASCAR drivers could turn right. Well, they can, but only once. The twisted remains of the vehicle you see here belonged to Michael McDowell, who rubbed the wall the wrong way (too hard, and straight on) in qualifying for this week's Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. But no...

NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....

The Usual Dash Of Dollar Dog Night Bacchanalia
Wednesday night at the Philadelphia Phillies Citizens Bank Park marked opening night and its first official "Dollar Dog NIght" promotion, which culminated in a Phillies 1-0 loss and, as usual, another mesmerizing display of shit-faced chaos courtesy of the revved-up monkeys. Ever since the Phillies...

Benny The Bull: Free At Last!
Displaying the kind of investigative moxie that could have kept us out of this whole Iraq mess, the Chicago Sun-Times dug into Thursday's Benny the Bull T-shirt assault story and discovered that Benny had been wrongly accused! On Thursday it was reported that Benny — the costumed mascot for the Bull...

Storming The Floor's Final Four Preview
Storming The Floor looks at the Final Four, which tips off tomorrow. Oh, and this South Park "photo" of the coaches is from Gutty Little Bruins, which is probably why John Calipari looks a little off....

Steve Lyons Would Like To See Your Breasts, Please
Here's an odd little story, featuring current Dodgers broadcaster Steve Lyons and a big-bosomed lady named Stacey Roy. From a court document filed on March 9, Stephen J. Lyons v. Fire Insurance, suggests that this is just a messy little money squabble between an ex-athlete and his homeowners insuran...

Kansas Fans Have Every Right To Hate Roy Williams
The general consensus concerning Roy Williams' "return" against Kansas at the Final Four this week is that it just broke his heart to leave Lawrence, and that any Jayhawks fan who is still angry with him is just being bitter. But on Phog.net, a Kansas fan message board, a poster named "pgalichia" su...

Ron Mexico's Prison Pen Pal
Considering how much Falcons owner Arthur Blank stuck by Ron Mexico for years, before that dog-fighting business, it should perhaps be little surprise that he's still corresponding with Vick while he's in the slammer. How's he doing, anyway? Has he organized a team to beat the prison guards yet?...

Benny The Bull Will Put A Cap In Your Ass
When talking about illegal mascot shenanigans, no one, of course, beats the drunken exploits of the Stanford Tree. But running a close second is Benny the Bull, the only NBA mascot with a criminal record for battery on a police officer. On Tuesday he was at it again, shooting the Celtics' Kevin Garn...

Jason Smith Might Be A Little Itchy
According to ex-adult entertainer Mary Carey, Sixers rookie big man Jason Smith was the victim of her spider-monkey-esque make-out session on Monday night. Smith, the Sixers 20th pick in the 2007 draft, has provided playoff-bound Sixers some additional big-man depth off the bench this season but, ac...

Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...

The Sixers Are Good Now, So Mary Carey Shall Climb Them
How about those Sixers? it was only a few short months ago that the team was in a completely understandable death spiral, thought to be rebuilding, being encouraged to dump its expensive players to stock up for the future. And now? Well, the Sixers are on the cusp of miraculously making the playoffs...

Larry King's Temper Rears Its Ugly Shoulder Blades
CNN's venerable talk show host Larry King may not have any trouble conversing with some of the world's most famous people or constructing a brilliant turn-of-phrase, but he does have some trouble controlling himself when umpires start ruining his young son's Little League games....

Media Approval Ratings: Mike Lupica
We've noticed lately, during our daily readings of the New York Daily News, that Mike Lupica is writing as much about politics as he is about sports. It makes sense; why can't blowing-with-the-wind "conventional wisdom" apply as well to Hillary Clinton as it does to Jason Giambi?...

Stuart Scott Obviously Feels Better
Wow, that "ESPN the Weekend" sure looks like it was fun. Here's Stuart Scott getting all Chuck D on the karaoke mic with proper S1W accompaniment by Charles Barkley playing the role of Flavor Flav and, hmm, Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" obviously filling Professor Griff's giant shoes....

Roy Williams' Cute Attempt At A Freakout, Remembered
With the North Carolina-Kansas game just a few days away, we remind you of truly one of our favorite college basketball interview moments of all time....

The Tao Of Fred Ex
For those of you saw the sleazy, magazine-licking photos of George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson circulating around the web over the last few days, you may have noticed this picture of former Eagles wideout (and substitute teacher) Freddie Mitchell randomly popping up.in the photo book from that...