el Page 2340 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Doesn't Happen At Benihana
A major controversy rocked Japan (but not as hard as Loudness!) when police arrested three sumo wrestlers and their stable master for a hazing incident that resulted in the death of a teenage wrestler (Ed. note — oooof.)to death. Sumo apparently puts its prospective wrestlers through a rigorous trai...
Lunch Break With Judas Priest
Clare, get a Flyers chant going on while I'm gone....
I Puck Like A Beast, Too
No Mighty needed: Ducks over Devils, 2-1. Scott Niedermayer returned to the Jerz and promptly made a mockery of his old team. Devils fans welcomed back one of their own with a chorus of boos. Niedermayer, unfazed: "In some ways you take that as a bit of a compliment.Obviously they didn't want you to...
Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Yeah, Well, Kelvin Sampson's Still A Jerk
We couldn't possibly agree more with legendary Illini basketball reporter Mark Tupper, who said, "at no time did I think Illinois was going to win that very exciting, very emotional basketball game with Indiana." It was exciting, and we had hope, and we leapt across the room with Jeffrey Jordan hit ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you order your discount concert tickets ... • College basketball: West Virginia at Pittsburgh ( 7 p.m., ET); Indiana at Illinois (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Clemson at Virginia (7 p.m., ET); Xavier at Saint Louis (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. If Rick Majerus keeps his clothes on, we'll all be just...
One Of Our Favorite Sports Bloggers Is ... Mose Schrute?!
As some of you might know by now, the gents at Fire Joe Morgan came out of the anonymous blogging closet yesterday and revealed themselves to be: Ken Tremendous (Michael Schur), Junior (Alan Yang), and dak (Dave King). They are all TV writers. You might recognize those names, especially Mr. Tremendo...
Duke Shows Off For Lover Vitale
We could go into a ton of detail about the Duke-North Carolina game last night, how Duke is probably the best team in the country right now just a year after a first-round tournament upset, or about how Coach K is able to adjust and elude irrelevance in a way Bob Knight wasn't able to late in his ca...
Time For Blue Devils, Tar Heels Again
Even though our guys are falling apart and college basketball mostly exists right now solely to make us sad, it's impossible not to be fired up by a fiery North Carolina-Duke game when both teams are in the top five. And Vitale's back tonight too. They should have eased him in with a Gonzaga game o...
Pick Your Poison: Duke Or UNC
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
Lakers Assimilate Gasol, All Resistence Is Now Futile
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not working on his underground bunker in preparation for the Lakers world domination, he can be leading a ragtag group of rebels at B...
A Guide To Recognizing Your Boos
So here's a noble endeavor. Presumably inspired by the great Baseball Prospectus, it's The Heckler's Prospectus, which is a player-by-player guide for fans to help with ammunition on how to boo opposing players....
Analyzing Belichick's Insane Decision Not To Kick
Of all the oddities during Super Bowl XLII, the one that might stick, and the one that might hurt the reputation of Patriots coach Bill Belichick the most, was his decision to go for it instead of sending kicker Stephen Gostkowski out for a 49-yard field goal. That doesn't look good when you lose a ...
The Giants Celebrate Their Title An Hour Away (In Traffic) From Their Home Field
Tons of people headed to lower Manhattan today to cheer on a team from New Jersey. It's nice to see Eli so nattily dressed. That guy's gonna get cool yet!...
It's Election Day, And We Will Make No Giants Analogies
Because we are Americans, and this is what we like to call a "democracy," you all should get out and vote today. We have some friends who, if they live in states that have closed primaries, don't vote because they "don't like to be labeled." Hey, who likes to be labeled? We want to vote....
Los Angeles Plays Itself
We come to you live from Los Angeles, California, a city in which we once lived and still kind of miss a little. And that's not just because there is no NFL team here. Though that doesn't hurt....
Patriots Fans Cry The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
As you may have imagined, folks are having a bit of fun with the Super Bowl result, Photoshop-wise. Following are some of this morning's more interesting efforts. I have to admit, I chuckled at most of them. And by the way ... if you happen to come across this, it isn't a Photoshop. These books are ...
Eli Manning Plays With Your Perceptions Of Reality
As amazing as Eli Manning was last night, it might have behooved someone on the Giants, whether it was a PR person or just an assistant coach, to inform him that when you win the Super Bowl, you're supposed to take your pads off before you put on the championship T-shirt. Doofy fella kept those pad...