el Page 2361 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Non-Football Sports On TV (And NFL Coverage Maps)
• 12 noon — Golf: Presidents Cup, Final Round [NBC] • 1:00 p.m. — Bowling: Women's U.S. Open [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Top Gun [Spike] • 2:00 p.m. — NASCAR: LifeLock 400, at Kansas Speedway [ABC] • 2:00 p.m. — MLB: Braves at Astros [TBS] • 2:00 p.m. — MLB: Tigers at White Sox [WGN]...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...
Why Would You Bet On Kids? I'm A Man! I'm 40! Bet On Me!
Unsilent Majority isn't here this weekend to help you bet on college football. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not here to help you either. But if the following college football bets turn out to be true, consider it dumb luck....
Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Who Will Be The Next Athlete To Have A Kinky Sex Fetish Revealed?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Ookie Is No Dummy
Ladies and gentlepeople, we have finally figured out what we will do if we are ever convicted of a felony, other than "try to grow a mustache and move to Turks and Caicos." We're gonna make sure we smoke as much weed as possible, and then get caught....
OJ's Different, More Philly Lawyer
One of the nice things about these new O.J. Simpson charges, for journalists, is that it's a helluva lot easier to get Simpson's attorneys on the phone than it was 12 years ago. This is no high priced dream team; this is a guy named Yale from South Jersey, and now he's chatting with AJ Daulerio....
Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...
Taste The Rockies, Losers! Taste Them!
The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card rac...
Of Course; Electric Skates! We'd Be Idiots Not To Try Them!
Introducing, the Therma Blade! Battery-warmed skates that melt the ice to provide more speed. Wayne Gretzky endorses them, so that's something, right? However the first thing that caught my eye about this item — and it may be a telling metaphor — is that the bottom half of the above photo distinctly...
BREAKING: Ron Mexico Smokes Pot!
So this is gonna blow your mind, folks: A couple of weeks ago, when matters might have been somewhat stressful for Michael Vick, he ... tested positive for marijuana. You think you know a guy....
ESPN's Disastrous "Town Hall Meeting"
We didn't watch ESPN's timely Michael Vick Town Hall Meeting last night, but from just about every account, it was a total disaster. The audience was so partisan for Vick — which, to be fair, is the opposite of what you typically see — that anyone who so much as pointed out that Vick confessed to el...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the lesbian Brady Bunch rumors are shot down ... • MLB: Cubs at Marlins. Division title, come to Papa. [WCIU] • MLB: Padres at Giants. What else could possibly go wrong? [Channel 4 Padres] • Movie: Rocky II. Yo Adrian! I did it! [Versus]...
Congratulations, Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim
Because the "name change" of this Anaheim Angels was a dirty trick to sneak further into the Los Angeles market while adhering to contract obligations to keep Anaheim in the name, we will always refer to the franchise by its full, official, annoying name. (We think they should change it to, "The As...