el Page 2386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jay Gibbons Has Amazing Aim On His Foul Balls
Could spousal abuse be a stepping stone to career advancement? Hey, ask Brett Myers. (Or Bobby Cox, for that matter.)...

It's Almost As If — NO! — Michael Vick Was Lying
So you know how Michael Vick says he had nothing to do with that whole dog fighting business? Well, SHOCKINGLY, his explanation has some holes in it. Big ones....

Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...

Kobe, Carmelo, Iverson ... Exit Stage Left, Please
Before last night's Suns-Lakers Game 5, Henry at True Hoop looked at just how much the Lakers would change in the offseason if they lost, which, of course, they did. So now it can start. Trade Kobe! For Shaq! Or whatever: We can't imagine Phil Jackson will enjoy being a part of this for too much lon...

Yes, She Should Fit Right In With The Dawg Pound
Via ESPN's Draft Blog and Hardaway Hates Pittsburgh, we present the aunt of new Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas....

Keyshawn's Final Moments As A Panther
If you want to relieve the sublime comedy of Keyshawn Johnson's "excitement" after learning that the Carolina Panthers drafted his "buddy" Dwayne Jarrett — thus securing his release from the team — the video above has the complete footage. It was funny at the time, but it improves considerably knowi...

Nothing Beats A Toupee Mullet
A story we've been wanting to write for sometime involves the sad plight of the toupee maker. We don't know anyone under the age of 40 who would ever wear a toupee again; these days, it's easier just to shave it. Nobody minds, everyone understands, it even looks kind of cool. But there are hundreds ...

Golden State's Chance To Make History (And Probably Kill Cuban)
Imagine the ramifications if, perchance, the Warriors eliminate the Mavericks tonight. First off, poor Dirk Nowitzki might never show his face in public again, or at least not around his coach. We'll have proof that the Warriors sold their souls to the devil. And Don Nelson will have his final, brut...

People Losing Their Life's Savings ... Live On NBC!
It's a logical idea whose time has obviously come: Televised golf wagering. In a move that could only be made by a network desperate after missing out on the Barbaro documentary, NBC is going to televise a full golf tournament made entirely of degenerate gamblers. And Fox is doing it too....

In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...

Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...

Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....

Ryan Howard To Fight Michael Strahan For Jared's Meat
If you caught the afternoon baseball game on Fox yesterday, you might've seen the new Subway commercial starring Jared and Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. I didn't see it, myself ... but since it doesn't yet exist on YouTube, I have to assume that means that it's way less gay than the giggling Michael...

This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name
Another slightly old bit of news that I wanted to touch on was the Steelers unveiling of a brand new mascot. He's part of the Steelers 75th anniversary celebration, along with some new throwback uniforms....

Checking In On Brady Quinn's Finances
If Brady Quinn hadn't already signed that endorsement deal with Hummer, the poor guy might not be able to afford one (I can't find YouTube of that commercial, but I've seen it on ESPN.com about 18 times this weekend ... if you're looking for reasons to hate Brady Quinn, I can't recommend it highly e...

Because We Love Him, Fine, We'll Do One More
With the 22nd pick of the NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Our Draft Coverage Concludes, Quinn-Less
With the 21st pick of the NFL Draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select Reggie Nelson, S, Florida. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
