el Page 2396 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carmelo, Iverson Finally Able To Pretend To Tolerate Each Other In Person
Carmelo Anthony has paid his public penance — he threw a punch, so now he's Clearly A Thug, you see, though we like to think that the suspension was lessened because he had the good sense to punch a Knick — and now it's time to get back to business: Carmelo will rejoin Allen Iverson and the Denver N...
See? Michael Vick Has Never Smoked Pot, Ever!
At last, the pristine and sacred names of Michael Vick and Ron Mexico can be cleared, no longer to be sullied with such filthy innuendo: It turns out that everybody's favorite HSV Type 2 carrier didn't have marijuana with him on a planet last week after all....
Parcells Says That'll Be Enough, Thank You
The Dallas Cowboys blog just reported the news: Bill Parcells has retired as coach of the Cowboys....
Steelers Going With Tomlin
The Pittsburgh Post Gazette is reporting that the Steelers have chosen Mike Tomlin to be their next head coach. The Steelers, according to the report, told Tomlin he was their choice, are negotiating with him right now, and have informed Russ Grimm of their decision, too....
Someone Is Going To Coach The Steelers
But it might not be Mike Tomlin. I linked to an article yesterday that reported that Tomlin had the job, then Tomlin denied that that was true... and then ESPN's Chris Mortensen said that it was true, and so did everyone else... and last night, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review said the job belongs to R...
Finally, Rik Smits And Michael Irvin Come Together
Aside from a cocaine-infused party at a French-Canadian brothel, I can't think of many ventures that could bring together the likes of Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco, Kordell Stewart, Darryl Strawberry and Claude Lemieux. Those four are part of the cast for the new season of Pros vs. Joes on SpikeTV....
Mike Tomlin To Replace The Beloved Chin
Mike Tomlin, former defensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings, has been hired as the new head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Rooney family was said to really admire Tomlin's defensive philosophies, his organizational skills, his refreshing ability not to bathe every single person he talk...
Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-1 Tottenham. American Clint Dempsey saw his first action for Fulham today, coming off the bench in the 81st minute and... well, I don't think he did much of anything. He's listed in the match report as "Clinton Dempsey," which I think shows a lack of international respect for his gangsta ...
Oh, To Be A Cop Outside A Steelers Game
As many of you likely already know, the great city of Pittsburgh has a mayor who is 26 years old, Luke Ravenstahl. He's in the midst of a campaign right now — he took over the job when former mayor Bob O'Connor died — and that means when you were once handcuffed outside Heinz Field for an altercatio...
Jesus, Does He Have A Shirt That ISN'T Hawaiian?
This picture isn't particularly salacious, or telling, or anything else, but a commenter applicant sent it to us, and any time we've got Michael Irvin and a bloated, sweaty Berman surrounded by women, well, we're contractually obligated to run it. We gotta start reading the fine print....
NBA Roundup: Lakers Seek To Conquer Texas
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
If You Can't Stash Your Pot In A Water Bottle And Get On A Plane, The Terrorists Have Already Won
Just one day after his brother tried to have an old lawsuit against him dismissed, it appears our friend Ron Mexico is in considerable trouble again. Michael Vick appears to have been stashing his weed in a water bottle and trying to sneak it past the whiz-kids at airport security....
Kwame Brown Has No Concerns About Excess Flour Intake
Sometimes, we just don't have to say anything, other than, well, this must have been what Michael Jordan had in mind when he drafted him....
The Sad Thing? That's Apple Juice
For those of you whose lives are just not completely without a drunken photo of Kyle Orton, Rex Grossman or Ben Roethlisberger ... hey, it's your lucky day! This one's from Mondesi's House, and features Big Ben making the exact face you would expect someone to make when they are sitting on a couch n...
Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...
Tony Allen's Poor Decision
As those of you into fantasy basketball might know, Celtics guard Tony Allen tore his ACL last week and will miss the rest of the season. If you weren't paying close attention, though, you might have missed how he did it....
Meet Michael Jordan's Online Mistress
As you might have heard, Michael Jordan — the "head of basketball operations" for the Charlotte Bobcats, hee hee — recently filed for divorce from his wife Juanita. He has been rumored to be involved in affairs for years, and now he's officially getting the Olbermann treatment: Someone has set up a ...
The Eye Of The Crazy Frizzy-Haired Saint
As if Eagles fans hadn't suffered enough after their loss to the Saints on Saturday — we think they're taking it hard, too; we still haven't talked to Daulerio — there's this video, which features a rather inspired Saints fan taking it to Eagles boosters outside the Superdome. Mocking them openly is...
New Orleans Once Step Closer To Healing. Really.
In case you're confused by the smattering of women in this photo, the one that's crinkled, not sparkly and wearing pants is Louisiana governor Kathleen Blanco. She's shown here hanging out with the Saints cheerleaders after their thrilling 27-24 win over the Eagles on Saturday, leaving them one game...
And Michael Strahan Got... JACKED UP!
The offensive linemen who line up against Michael Strahan on Sundays just got a whole lot of new ammunition for trash tralk. And Strahan can't run from it, either, because he's going to have to play football for a loooong time. He can't afford not to....