el Page 2405 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A-Rod Could Have His Own Build-A-Bear Workshop
The Cubs, a team we remind you finished behind the Pirates this year, hired Lou "Let's Not Bring Up The Two Languages Thing Again, Please" Piniella as manager yesterday, and, according to ESPN, he wants to bring A-Rod to town....

Notes From The "Underground"
We would like to take a moment to salute commenters Christ Sabo (who first posited the idea) and twoeightnine (for his brilliant, terrifying designs), along with the rest of you — we particularly liked this MDT post — for your mad, breathtaking work on the ESPN Radio "underground" email from yesterd...

Trying To Make Sense Of Anything Involving Steve Lyons
MJD covered this over the weekend, but we really feel like we had to weigh in: We have absolutely no idea what was racist about what Steve Lyons was fired for saying during Friday's A's-Tigers broadcast....

Photons From The Sun Are What Makes This Whole Process Possible
That's Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel explaining photosynthesis. Really. That's what it is. It is bizarre and surreal, but I can't deny that I learned something. You know what they say: the truly great teachers have a way of making you learn, even when it seems like you're just watching ...

He Definitely Won't Have To Sit Next To Lou Piniella Anymore
Fox baseball analyst Steve Lyons was fired last night, and with an assist from Richard Sandomir in the New York Times, here's what got him axed:...

Everywhere One Looks, It's Beltran
Yesterday, we talked about the 2004 National League Championship Series between the Cardinals and Astros, and how it was the best series we had ever seen. We, stupidly, did not mention the words "Carlos Beltran," which was odd, considering the guy showed up in our nightmares for months afterwards. (...

Rick Ankiel, Six Years Later
As we await tonight's hopefully-not-rained-out NCLS Game 1, we think back to 2000, when the Cardinals and Mets last met under these circumstances. This is known, of course, as the Rick Ankiel series, when the blistering lefthander, whose curveball was one of the most gravity-defying things we had ...

Nobody Said No Like The Mid-80s Lakers
Just to continue our cavalcade of strange videos from the 1980s today, here's a "Just Say No" video from the Showtime LA Lakers. You really haven't lived until Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who of course knows nothing about the demon weed, say he doesn't need drugs, he's got a higher thing....

Steve Young Can't Take It Anymore
We're sure, in the wake of a ridiculous $1.7 billion dollar deal, the folks at YouTube won't let this stand very long, but if you watched "SportsCenter" this morning, you say Michael Irvin — shockingly! — ramble on like, well, a retard for about five minutes about why the Ravens belonged in the top ...

Philadelphia's Day To Shine
On a day they'll talk about in Philadelphia for many years, the legendary lunatics that are Philly sports fans were in rare form yesterday for Terrell Owens' return to the city of liberty. These are our personal favorite four photos of the many we were sent....

Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy
I know that a lot of you will be commenting with heavy hearts today, in the wake of the Yankees stunning loss to the Detroit Tigers last night. It took the Tigers just four games to oust the Yankees from the playoffs, send George Steinbrenner into a murderous rage, make Brian Cashman hide under hi...

There's Always Room For Tasing!
We've had some rather thorough discussions of tasering and its effectivness and proper dispersal. But we never thought we'd see it come up at a youth football game....

Cultural Oddsmaker: It's Christmas In Philly!
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Oh, It Never Rains In Southern California
"All right Chief, you're our last chance." That's Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, in which his character, Randall McMurphy, tries to urge a fellow insane asylum inmate to cast the deciding vote so that the ward can watch the Dodgers-Yankees World Series game on TV. That bid failed....

9-4-2-2 DP? 2 U? 9-4-2 DP? What's The Frequency, Kenneth?
We might be the only person on earth who cares about this, but earlier, we wondered aloud how in the world a scorer — if you were, ahem, the type of dork who brings a scorebook to baseball games — would possibly handle that bizarre "double-play" during the Mets-Dodgers game. 2 Unassisted? 9-4-2? 9...

The Steelers Know Their Bread And Butter
For all those who felt the infamous Ben Roethlisberger "Drink Like A Champion" pictures were some sort of bad publicity for the quarterback and the Steelers, we point out this display at a suburban Pittsburgh mall....

Your Thursday Morning NFL Roundup
"So, like, I text messaged Terrell to wish him well and everything after his overdose thingy, and he never texts me back. No biggie, right? But now he says he never got it! Like, I'm so sure! It's incredible th ... oh wait, that's Ashley on the other line. Be back in a sec."...

Live Playoff Blog: Mets Vs. Dodgers, Game One
This is John Maine, and, so it's known, he's really not a bad pitcher. (Why did everyone act like El Duque was somehow Johan Santana, anyway? You know he's about 84 years old, right? Plus, now the Mets have Oliver Perez on their roster, so what could possibly go wrong?)...

Stop The World, We Want To Get Off
If there were any real cosmic justice out there, stories such as this would not be allowed to happen; a wise, all-knowing God, concerned only with the greater good, would hurl a giant meteor right directly into our equator first. But ours is a stark, lonely universe, devoid of reason, and we are p...

Philadelphia Prepares For Battle ... And It's Never Too Early
Apropos of nothing, we've decided to attach a picture of Donovan McNabb doing shots to this post. Forgive us....