eli Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch Eli Manning Caress Chris Mortensen's Head
Peyton Manning is working out with Wes Welker at Duke University, which is the second-whitest sentence ever written. (The first is "The Masters starts today.")...

Failure Is An Option, Or Why You'll Always Be A Loser And That's OK: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

<em>Saturday Night Live</em> Took On The Mike Rice Video Tonight
Tonight's Saturday Night Live unleashed this parody just as the Michigan-Syracuse game was coming to its ugly end, so the Mike Rice-savvy audience out there may have missed it....

Hockey Player Loses Game, Fires Stick At Referee
Lithuania lost to Great Britain, 3-2, during pool play of the U-18 world championships yesterday in Estonia. The Brits won on a short-handed goal with 32 seconds to play. Lithuania's Danielius Nomanovas did not take it well....

There Is No Such Thing As "Sweating Out A Hangover": A Recovering Fatass's Weekly iPod Playlist
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

When The Kings Visit The White House, Their Coach Will Yell At President Obama About The Keystone XL Pipeline
Does a championship team ever get much out of visiting the White House? A photo with the president? Some knickknacks, maybe? Usually it's not a whole lot. Unless you're Los Angeles Kings coach Darryl Sutter, and you own a 3,000-acre ranch in Alberta, and you seek Barack Obama's approval of the Keyst...

How I Trick My Brain Into Thinking Running Isn't The Worst: A Recovering Fatass's Weekly iPod Playlist
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

Those Plucky FGCU Basketball Players Live On An Actual Beach
You may think "Hollywood Upstairs Medical College" or "Ponzi scheme" when you hear "Florida Gulf Coast University," but that's not fair: FGCU—which looks like what you see above—is very much a real place, with documented students, and classes, and dorms and stuff. Indeed, that picture, provided by C...

MLB Is Playing Legal Whac-A-Mole In The Biogenesis Case
Major League Baseball is not the government. Bud Selig is not a senator, Joe Torre is not a district attorney, and the Phillie Phanatic has sworn no oath to uphold principles of any kind. And judging from the news today about MLB's plans to sue Biogenesis (the clinic which, according to the Miami Ne...

John Calipari Is Having A Really Great Spring Break In The Big Apple
Earlier this week, after failing to get a nod for the Big Dance, the Kentucky Wildcats–the winningest team in the history of the men's NCAA tournament—lost to Robert Morris in the first round of the National Invitation Tournament. It was a low point. But you know who's cruising right along, content ...

OK, What The Hell Channel Is TruTv?
TruTV, formerly Court TV, is part of the Turner family of networks, and as such is hosting eight games of the NCAA Tournament today and tomorrow. But what goddamned channel is it on? We've annotated the above map with the TruTV channel numbers on major cable providers for the 10 largest television m...

Former Titans Cheerleader Charged With Sexually Assaulting 12-Year-Old Boy
Her defense? She got the preteen mixed up with another (full-grown) man....


MLB Is Trying To Dick Some Of Its Employees Out Of Their Pensions
Sure, Bud Selig and Major League Baseball may be the plucky underdogs when the league gets into a scheduling dispute with the all-mighty NFL, but that doesn't mean the MLB isn't also a vampiric organization with its own free-market-or-bust tendencies. Case in point: MLB owners are expected to vote ...

Bill Belichick Answered Fan Questions On His Girlfriend's Twitter Account
So this was kind of weird. Last night, Linda Holliday, host of Styleboston and girlfriend of New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, sent out this cryptic tweet:...

Watch An Italian TV Presenter Lose His Mind Over Milan's Loss To Barcelona
Tiziano Crudeli is a cult figure for his demonstrative commentary, and he's also a huge AC Milan fan. So naturally, an Italian TV station had a camera on him as he watched Milan squander a two-goal aggregate lead, falling to Barcelona in the second leg of their Champions League tie yesterday....

Reports: Joe Flacco—That Joe Flacco—Will Soon Be The Highest Paid Player In NFL History
Yep, Joe Flacco. The big-armed oaf. The doofy bridegroom. The guy whose dad said he was "dull" four times in two sentences five days before the Super Bowl. That guy. No, not the plumber who stripped the washers off your sink and left his wrench on your kitchen table—I mean the guy who backed up Tyle...

In An Alternate Universe, MLB Commissioner Hank Aaron Introduced A Salary Cap And Interleague Play In The '80s
Over at Hardball Talk, Craig Calcaterra dug up a gem from the archives. Back in 1983, Bowie Kuhn announced his resignation as commissioner. The very first person to publicly throw their hat in the ring for the job was Hank Aaron, then in the Braves' front office....

Tim Tebow Cancels Speaking Engagement At Dallas Hate Church
The First Baptist Church of Dallas was all set to welcome Tim Tebow for a little talk on April 28, but then the thoughts of the megachurch's pastor, Robert Jeffress, made their way to the heathen media, which was all too eager to spread the word....
![Kentucky Star Nerlens Noel Leaves Game Against Florida After Suffering Knee Injury That Left Him Screaming In Pain [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Kentucky Star Nerlens Noel Leaves Game Against Florida After Suffering Knee Injury That Left Him Screaming In Pain [UPDATE]
This is tough to watch (and to listen to, since it might be the sound of a promising NBA career being tossed into the spinning wheel of injury fate). Midway through the second half of Kentucky's bout in Gainesville—one the Wildcats would lose by a 69-52 score—freshman phenom Nerlens Noel crashed ...