eli Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Are The Brewers Without Christian Yelich?
In his first at-bat in an eventual Brewers win against the Marlins on Tuesday night, reigning NL MVP and 2019 MVP frontrunner Christian Yelich fouled a pitch off his right knee and fell to the ground in what looked like excruciating pain. The Brewers right fielder left the game, and not long after, ...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
Pirates Reliever Requires Season-Ending Surgery After Locker Room Fight With Other Pirates Reliever
The woeful Pittsburgh Pirates fined relievers Kyle Crick and Felipe Vázquez for their roles in a locker room altercation prior to the team’s game against the Giants Monday night. Worse and dumber than that, the altercation led to an injury to Crick’s throwing hand, requiring surgery, and he is done ...
Christian Yelich Fractures Kneecap With Foul Ball, Is Done For The Season
Well, this blows. The Milwaukee Brewers are very much in the hunt for the second National League Wild Card spot, trailing the Cubs by just a game and a half. But their pursuit from this point on will no longer include the services of reigning NL MVP Christian Yelich, who has been ruled out for the ...
Belinda Bencic Melted Down Into A Puddle Of Swiss Cheese
Despite losing a tight first set on a tiebreaker, Belinda Bencic was in complete control of her U.S. Open semifinal. The 22-year-old Swiss had bounced back against 19-year-old Canadian Bianca Andreescu to take a controlling 5-2 lead in the second frame, highlighted by two early breaks. It sure looke...
Bianca Andreescu Might Just Boss Her Way To A U.S. Open Title
Canadian 19-year-old Bianca Andreescu doesn’t walk around the court so much as she swaggers. She doesn’t just yell, “Come on!” and fist pump when she wins a big point; she’ll stare straight across the net at her opponent while she does it. She’ll toss her racket when she loses a point and impatientl...
Bill Belichick Is Here To Get You Pumped For Another NFL Season
Folks.... FOLKS. The NFL season starts tomorrow night. In just over 24 hours, it will once again be time to bathe ourselves in scalding NFL action. Are you ready for the big hits? The big throws? The big runs? The bashing and bruising? If you are not yet ready for these things, allow best-coach-in-t...
Is It Worth Being A Good Person In 2019 America?
Today, we’re talking about doctors, the Mariners, capture the flag, being followed, and more....
Venus Williams Stares, Smiles Into Void During Hilarious U.S. Open Presser
While most of Wednesday’s U.S. Open slate was rained out, unseeded Venus Williams still battled No. 5 seed Elina Svitolina under the roof on Louis Armstrong. The centerpiece was a Williams service game at 5-3 in the second that spanned 15 minutes, eight deuces, five match point saves, and several i...
Christian Yelich Changes Walkup Music To Own A Random Twitter User
Reigning National League MVP Christian Yelich will appear in the upcoming ESPN Body Issue, the worldwide leader’s annual effort to capitalize on everyone’s desire to see the bare butt-cheeks of attractive famous people. The Body Issue is 10 years old now—no one who is not hoarding survival gear in ...
Patriots Clarify That Bill Belichick Isn't A Big Enough Psycho To Have Missed Andrew Luck's Retirement
During a press conference this morning, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was asked to respond to Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck’s shocking retirement, which occurred over the weekend. Belichick’s typically grumbly response at first made it seem as though he had been unaware of the news...
Let Michael Irvin Scare You Into Getting Excited About College Football
Today is apparently the official start of the college football season. As someone who doesn’t have a vested interest in a team with any sort of non-lethal relevance, it’s very easy for this day to come and go without much fanfare. However, if you’re a fan of the University of Miami, there was almost...
All Elite Wrestling's Newest Signing Is As Divisive As Wrestlers Get
By the strange but very real standards that govern these sorts of things, All Elite Wrestling’s video announcement on its Twitter page that it had signed Orange Cassidy earlier this week qualified as a relatively significant amount of fanfare. Contrast that with Marko Stunt, who announced his AEW si...
Confessions Of A Hoarder On The Road To Guitarmageddon
My name is Dave, and I’m a guitar hoarder....
NCAA Suspends BYU Forward Nine Games Next Season For Not Filing Proper Paperwork
BYU star forward Yoeli Childs has been suspended nine games for this upcoming season because the NCAA determined that the player had hired an agent before filing the proper paperwork with the association. The announcement came on Friday and Childs addressed a group of local media members in Provo, U...
Lucas Giolito's Wife Calls Out Anthony Swarzak's Wife For Being Ignorant Toward Tim Anderson's Wife
Bria Anderson, wife of White Sox shortstop Tim, had a heated Instagram discussion with Elizabeth Swarzak, wife of Braves reliever Anthony, about gun violence and race, the impetus being last weekend’s mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. Swarzak, whose IG account is now protected, came off sounding...
Let's Remember Some Guys Goes West: Jewish Baseball Legends Of The '70s
You hear stories. A man out west, they said. A healer, a powerful man, possessed with riches untold about which he is unaccountably humble. Of course, in the Guy Remembering game you hear all kinds of things. Memory is complicated, memory is variable; the story as you tell it is not as you heard it,...
Pour One Out For The Sad Fucker Who Flunked His Being-Zion Williamson's-Agent Exam
Reader, I will be honest with you: My eyes turned to little wads of chalk and I lapsed into a coma for 50,000 lifetimes of the earth while trying to read this ESPN.com feature about the twists of hotshot rookie Zion Williamson’s path to a sneaker endorsement deal. All I remember about it is the unbe...
Outside The Lines has a stunning story about about Olympic hurdler and longtime track coach Conrad Mainwaring, who now stands accused of molesting 41 boys who he trained over the last 44 years. His alleged crimes were brought to light in part because some of his victims found each other in the comme...
David Griffin And LeBron James Are No Longer Pals
Pelicans general manager David Griffin is one of the toasts of the NBA these days. He will be remembered as the guy who reversed the fortunes of that franchise at the end of the Anthony Davis era, by drafting Zion Williamson and by flipping Davis for a package of useful players and valuable draft as...