eli Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Zombie Pelicans Will Cross Their Fingers And Allow Anthony Davis To Play Out The Season
Having used these last few weeks for nothing more productive than shedding salary and spiting the Lakers, and having sagged now to 13th place in the Western Conference standings, the Pelicans have announced their decision to return Anthony Davis to their rotation for the rest of this lost and wasted...
Look Who's Back!
The only thing that really matters about a catchphrase is that it gets said. The repetition is the meaning. Of course, by definition, We’re Back every time a new Deadcast arrives online. This is true if it’s Marchman and me and Lauren, or if it’s Marchman and Megan and Dom, or theoretically if it wa...
Every NBA Trade Is Actually About Anthony Davis These Days
This is a Harrison Barnes blog right up until the point LeBron James makes sure it’s not....
Report: The Pelicans Invented A New Kind Of Tampering And Used It To Exact Sweet Revenge On The Hated Lakers
It looks increasingly like the Pelicans have no real intention of dealing with the Lakers ahead of tomorrow’s trade deadline. The Lakers have made their whole damn team available in offers for Anthony Davis, and the Pelicans apparently haven’t made any concrete counteroffers, and the only observable...
Just Make The Damn Trade
It’s worth remembering that this all ought to be pretty easy....
Lonzo Ball To The Suns Is, In Fact, An Extremely Cool Idea
The Lakers are including Lonzo Ball in trade talks with the New Orleans Pelicans, as part of an effort to bring Anthony Davis to Los Angeles. The Pelicans want more in the trade than the Lakers have so far offered, and possibly more than the Lakers are able to offer. Meanwhile Lonzo would prefer to ...
How The Patriots' Defense Put The Rams In A Trash Can
Okay, so Jared Goff looked lost and Sean McVay had no clue how to adjust and the Patriots basically needed just one touchdown drive to win another stinkin’ Super Bowl while also defeating what we all thought was the future of the NFL. So what did New England do that so panicked Goff and McVay? Mostl...
Bill Belichick Stands Athwart The Future
When the most tedious Super Bowl in history had ended and you had picked up your jaw after learning that Tom Brady had not been named the game’s most valuable player out of desperation and habit, you realized that, fittingly, most people did not get what they wanted out of America’s Jesus-Free Chris...
Three Points? Three Goddamn Points?
This motherfucker. This little baby we’ve been hearing about all year. The wunderkind who’s revolutionizing football and forcing owners all over the league to hand their teams over to the first stubbled quarterbacks coach they can find. He scored three points in the Super Bowl!...
Here's An Underwhelming Anthony Davis Trade Offer From The Lakers That The Pelicans Probably Leaked
The Lakers’ latest attempt at bringing one of the NBA’s elite talents to Los Angeles was pretty underwhelming, reportedly:...
Anthony Davis's Dad: “I Would Never Want My Son To Play For Boston”
The Celtics and Lakers are both circling around Anthony Davis, with the former trying to slow things down while the latter attempts to slam on the gas pedal. Even though Davis seems to want to go to the Lakers, Boston can put together a better trade package. Kyrie Irving’s free agency only compounds...
At Least Magic Johnson's Phone Calls About Anthony Davis Are Finally Being Answered
With the NBA trade deadline exactly one week away and Anthony Davis currently on ice, the Los Angeles Lakers’ only real window to trade for the Brow without Danny Ainge and Boston’s superior collection of assets getting involved is... right now, actually. Because Boston can beat pretty much any offe...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Dean Ambrose Is Leaving WWE And Contract Season Just Got Much More Interesting
The biggest news in pro wrestling this week probably should have involved in-ring, canonical storyline fallout from WWE’s Royal Rumble weekend in Phoenix. And there was indeed news made there, or at least the set up for the next round between Ronda Rousey and Becky Lynch, which will likely be pushed...
Anthony Davis Might Not Play Again This Season, For The Most Bullcrap Of Reasons
The Pelicans are already moving on from Anthony Davis. Dell Demps might be stuck in the denial phase—he is reportedly “not picking up the phone” to field incoming trade inquiries—but the team has already yanked Davis out of their standard pregame hype video, and pulled his image from their Twitter p...
Jrue Holiday Put A Nice Marinade On James Harden, Slapped Him On The Grill, And Then Ate Him Up
The biggest casualty of the Anthony Davis exodus may well be his poor sidekick Jrue Holiday, who is playing his proud butt off this season, as he generally does. Unless he too can engineer an escape from New Orleans, one of the NBA’s best two-way guards is going to have to make do with LeBron’s bear...
Jahlil Okafor, Of All People, Leads The Gutted Pelicans To A Road Victory Over The Rockets
The list of guys who couldn’t play Tuesday night for the Pelicans is very nearly a list of every established and half-decent player on the roster. This was a nationally televised game against the surging Rockets, and the lineups foretold an ugly, lopsided massacre:...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...
Why Your Dumb Team Won't Trade For Anthony Davis
As you surely know by now, New Orleans Pelicans superstar Anthony Davis requested a trade. He wants to leave that derelict organization for one that will give him a chance to contend for championships. The Pelicans can deal him by next Thursday’s trade deadline, or they can wait until the season end...