emo Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...
José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....
Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy
If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:...
Wake Forest's Greg McClinton Nails Casual Buzzer-Beater From Goddamn Mars
Greg McClinton must have played football or something, because this overhander was as nice as pie....
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...
Junior Hockey Player Climbs Over Glass To Brawl With Fans During Game, Loses Shirt
In what might be the most Canadian sentence written this year, a New Brunswick Junior Hockey League game Saturday at Lord Beaverbrook Rink between the Southern Sting and Grand Lake Moose featured a brawl in the stands after one of the players hopped over the glass to fight with fans....
After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...
Celebrity Democrats Fuck Off
We have just witnessed the incredible spectacle of a vile right-wing celebrity being elected President of the United States. There is a right lesson—and a wrong one!—for Democrats to take from this. ...
John Collins Might Just Will Wake Forest Into The Tournament
As was the case with several bubble teams, the last couple games of the regular season have been crucial for Wake Forest. Entering Wednesday night’s clash with No. 8 Louisville at 16-12 and 7-9 in conference play, the Demon Deacons desperately needed a signature upset to separate themselves from the...
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...
You Can Quantify How Differently Democrats And Republicans See The Future
No need to just guess how different our worldview (the smart ones) is from the others (dumb, bad people). There are numbers—awful, awful numbers....
Protesting Sells ... But Who's Buying?
Every reporter has a patter for talking to people in a crowd. I start with a nakedly aggressive challenge—usually questioning or condemning their parentage. Alternatively, if they are bigger than I am, I say “gimme a dollar” and see if they comply. It tells me they’re easily cowed....
The Kids Are All Red
Last weekend, as Donald Trump prepared to rally in Florida, Barack Obama laid low after his vacation with Richard Branson, and Hillary Clinton took in some Broadway shows, 250 young leftists from across the country crowded into a Brooklyn church to learn how to spread the good word about socialism....
Just Elect Keith Ellison Already
The race for Democratic National Committee chair has been going on for, it seems, a thousand years. It should mercifully conclude this month. If the Democrats are not idiots, they will give it to Keith Ellison, and move on to doing things of actual importance. ...
Someone Wanted You To See This Sketchy And Feeble Pro-Dolan Protest Outside MSG
Yesterday afternoon, tipster John Rats sent us a link to a Craigslist post seeking “enthusiastic people to take part in a Pro-Knicks rally before this Sunday’s game against the San Antonio Spurs.” Naturally intrigued, we responded to the ad, which promised $50 to anyone who came out to “support the ...
Iowa State Upsets No. 3 Kansas, Breaking 51-Game Winning Streak At The Phog
Iowa State got 20-plus point performances from three starting guards as the Cyclones, who have played like butt for the majority of the season, downed No. 3 Kansas at Allen Fieldhouse behind a school-record 18 three-pointers. The loss marked the first time in 51 games that the Jayhawks have fallen ...
"A Kick In The Ass" For Labor: A Union Leader Considers The Age Of Trump
Stuart Appelbaum, the head of the most powerful retail workers union in America, swears he is optimistic. Why? ...
Paid Political Hacks Are Scum
Turns out that Robby Mook was the perfect campaign manager for Hillary Clinton after all. He’s just like his boss: can’t win an election, but can get rich giving revolting speeches afterwards....
Conference Investigating Wild, WWE-Style Brawl In DII Game<em></em>
Most basketbrawls get mopped up shortly after they start. Refs and coaches intervene before things boil over into a full-blown free-for-all and the perpetrators are quickly subdued. Most never escalate to the point that a fan takes a chair to the head of a player who is currently being, but that’s e...