emo Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bournemouth Score On Manchester United Directly From A Corner Kick
Manchester United is starting a bunch of inexperienced youngsters against Bournemouth today due to a series of injuries and suspensions. The mighty Cherries took advantage and scored just two minutes in thanks to a wonderful Junior Stanislas Olimpico and a helpful gust of wind....
New York Giants Cut Damontre Moore After He Fought Cullen Jenkins Over Headphones
Damontre Moore is no longer a New York Giant after getting cut yesterday. Now why would the Giants cut a third-round pick in the middle of a *stifles laughter* playoff push? Well:...
Chelsea Are Just About Dead
So much of being a coach is managing expectations. The best ones consistently set goals that are a finger length or two higher than what can be realistically reached. That demands commitment to the cause. It reminds players that no matter what they’ve achieved so far, there’s always another level th...
Scrappy Underdogs Chelsea Show Heart, But Can't Beat Bournemouth
15th place Chelsea almost scored an upset against fellow lower table side Bournemouth today, but they couldn’t handle Glenn Murray on this corner. They are a mere three points out of the relegation zone, but this ramshackle band of underdogs looks like they’ll be able to stay up and ensure safety. W...
75 Voters In Argentine Soccer Federation Election Somehow Produce 76 Votes
All Alfredo Dagna could do upon taking in the results of the Argentina soccer federation’s presidential election last night was collapse into his chair, propping his head up with his hand, probably so that he didn’t start banging it against the table. Those results? 38 votes for the challenger, 38 f...
NFL Demotes Officiating Crew After Screwups In Cardinals-Niners Game
Sunday’s Cardinals-49ers game was a disaster for the officials, one that stood out even against the backdrop of an especially woeful season for the zebras. How bad was it? The crew responsible has been demoted from primetime....
Bournemouth And Everton Just Combined For the Best Finish Of The Premier League Season
Bournemouth and Everton just finished up a 3-3 barnburner that featured a Ross Barkley goal in the 95th minute, a mob of Everton fans rushing the pitch, then a Bournemouth equalizer after that in the 98th. Bournemouth’s first came in the 80th from Adam Smith, the English right back and noted economi...
Arsenal Fan Idris Elba Loves Laughing At Sorry-Ass Chelsea As Much As We Do
Idris Elba is from London. Thus, he’s an Arsenal fan. Because his team has been cast over the past decade as The Big Engine That Can’t, he’s had to endure repeated humiliations and ridicule at the hands of the Gunners’ rivals. Now that the shoe’s on the other foot with regards to Chelsea’s God-forsa...
Why Chelsea Should Stick With José Mourinho
This Chelsea season is beginning to feel like that “Sideshow Bob Steps On Rakes For 10 Minutes” video. The first couple self-inflicted thwacks in the face were funny; the next few established the pattern; and when it continued repeating from there it became even more hysterical than ever, leaving yo...
Referee: Irate José Mourinho Cussed Me Out In Dressing Room
Earlier this week, England’s Football Association gave José Mourinho a fine and a one-match ban from the sideline for some sort of behavior that got him sent to the stands during halftime of Chelsea’s 1-2 loss to West Ham. Now we know exactly why: it was because Mourinho freaked the fuck out on the ...
Wins Were All José Mourinho Ever Had To Stand On
The only thing more unfathomable than a historically great manager having his job status seriously questioned just half a season removed from a title, is said manager and club falling apart so thoroughly that the speculation about his imminent demise begins to appear justified. And yet this is exact...
José Mourinho Banned, Sued, And Is Reportedly About To Be Sacked
So Chelsea fans, do you want the bad news, the awful news, or the terrible news first?...
José Mourinho Continues To Lose, Then Give Great Postgame Interviews
Chelsea lost at home today, as they’ve been doing all season, and José Mourinho gave some performatively defiant comments about his tenuous job status, as he’s been doing all season. Chelsea’s season from hell got worse as they let Liverpool come back and beat them 3-1 on a pair of tremendous Coutin...
Bearded Royals Fan Robs Homer, Umpires Uphold It
It’s getting to be about Steve Bartman time in the MLB playoffs. That infamous robbery happened in Game 6 of the NLCS, and in tonight’s ALCS Game 6, another home run theft took place. This time, the culprit was 19-year-old Caleb Humphreys. Mike Moustakas sent this dinger just barely over the wall in...
José Mourinho Caught Apparently Shoving A Kid Trying To Sneak A Selfie
It’s not been the best couple months for Chelsea boss José Mourinho. We already knew that his shockingly poor start to the season and the pressure that has come with it was beginning to fracture the man’s sanity. Now he’s out here in the streets of London, pushing teens who just want a picture....
Curt Schilling Has A Democratic Debate Take For You
There will be a lot of takes on tonight’s Democratic debate. Here’s the one that matters....
Mets Fan Calls Into Francesa Show, Cries On Air
Will from Queens was feeling a little emotional yesterday morning, and who can blame him? His Mets are in the playoffs for the first time since 2006, he just watched Ruben Tejada get his leg broken on a dirty play, and Matt Harvey? Don’t even get Will started on Matt Harv—[stifles oncoming sobs]—Mat...
José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record
Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season thr...
Royals Broadcaster Perfectly Predicts Mike Moustakas's Home Run
With Mike Moustakas facing an 0-2 count in Wednesday night’s game, Fox Sports Kansas City announcer Ryan Lefebvre claimed that the Royals third baseman would not only get a curveball from White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana, but crush it for a home run into Kansas City’s bullpen. “He’s gonna sit on a ha...
Chelsea Players Starting To Rebel Against José Mourinho
It was inevitable that Chelsea’s astoundingly poor performances and results so far this season would lead to some level of internal strife inside the club. We now have confirmation of this, with sources in the team describing a rift between the players and José Mourinho to two different papers....