eric Page 258 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
America's Shameful Youth Development Exposed When 40 Kids Lose To Xabi Alonso And Arturo Vidal
We’ve harped on this point many times before, but sometimes it takes a concise, visual representation of an issue for the masses to internalize it. This video, made during Bayern Munich’s summer U.S. tour, depicting just two men—Xabi Alonso and Arturo Vidal—running roughshod over 40 American kids sh...
National Parks, Ranked
This is a barren time in the sports calendar. We are in a desolate trough between the international intrigue of the Olympics and the drama and nonsense of football season. I’m goddamn bored. Coincidentally, the National Parks Service turns 100 years old today. Unlike late August, the National Parks ...
The Worst Of <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Terrible Commentary
Rescuing us all from a post-Olympics malaise, American Ninja Warrior returned on Monday night with its Philadelphia city finals. Now in its eighth season, ANW has provided us with plenty of wow-worthy moments, such as Kacy Catanzaro’s first female completion of a city finals course and Isaac Caldier...
Reports: Brock Lesnar And Chris Jericho Fought Over Bloody SummerSlam Ending
Sunday’s SummerSlam ended with Brock Lesnar opening up a huge gash on Randy Orton’s head via a series of very real punches and elbows. As is often the case when blood is spilled in the ring, it was hard to tell whether Lesnar tearing a hole in Orton’s head was a work, but a pair of reports from the ...
A Pretty Good Theory Of Donald Trump
Donald Trump is Max Bialystock. Let me explain....
Dirk Nowitzki Struggles With Soccer
Dirk Nowitzki officially re-signed with the Mavericks this afternoon, but he spent the day playing in a charity soccer game in Mainz and showed why he should stick with basketball....
Chelsea Players Don't Know Anything About America
Out in sunny California for their preseason training/money-grabbing tour, a few Chelsea players took a break from running their legs off to be tested on their knowledge of American history. They, uh, don’t know much....
Officials Resign After Czech Bowl Ends On Championship-Deciding Blown Call
NFL training camps start kicking off today, but football did not take the summer off. Czech Bowl XXIII, the championship of the Czech League of American Football, was held on Saturday, with the Prague Black Panthers winning their 15th title in a hard-fought 10-9 victory over crosstown rival Prague L...
Minnesota United Goalkeeper Concedes Maybe The World's Dumbest Own Goal
I am wary of lapsing into superlatives over every old highlight, but with that qualifier out of the way, this might be the dumbest own goal I have ever seen....
Alexis Sanchez's Ankle Injury Is Pretty Gruesome-Looking
Alexis Sanchez had to leave the Copa America final before the penalty shootout on account of Gabriel Mercado caught him with a nasty tackle that left him unable to play past the 104th minute. Chile won anyway, thanks to Messi’s chokejob, but Alexis’ ankle has ballooned up and it looks like the podia...
God Fucking Dammit, Gonzalo Higuaín
At this point, it’s pretty hard to dismiss out of hand the notion that Gonzalo Higuaín—unquestionably one of the best forwards in the sport, fresh off a historically great season—might be a sleeper agent embedded in the Argentine national team for the express purpose of bringing the team, the countr...
Why Lionel Messi's "Retirement" Is Probably Just A Threat
It might have been merely frustration: Three straight years of making international finals, three straight finals losses in extra time or on penalties. Or it might have been the last night of Argentina as we know it....
Lionel Messi Says He Is Quitting International Play: "The National Team Is Over For Me"
Lionel Messi told TV reporters after Argentina’s Copa América final loss to Chile that it would be his final appearance for his nation, retiring from international play due to what sounds like his frustration at the inability to ever lead his squad to a trophy....
Chile Win Copa América In PKs After Messi Chokes
The world’s greatest soccer player once again failed to lead his team to a major international trophy as Argentina fell to Chile in penalties 4-2, thanks in part to Messi failing to deliver his PK attempt on target....
Robbed
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Colombian Heavy Metal "¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" Clocks In At 37 Seconds
Yeah, so Colombia took an early lead on the U.S. in tonight’s Copa América third-place match, but that means we once again get to check in on the cybernetic-lunged “El Cantante del Gol,” Javier Fernández. Tonight’s heavy metal “¡Gol!” spanned 37 seconds of uninterrupted, uh, “¡Gol!”-ing. I can’t eve...
Hater-Ass Diego Maradona Is Lowkey Shit-Talking Argentina's National Team Again
Argentina, you may remember, just Hulk-smashed the USMNT in the Copa América Centenario earlier this week to earn a spot in the Copa final—the third consecutive tournament title match the Albiceleste have competed in. Understandably, someone asked former Argentina great and current waterlogged greml...
Idiot On The Field Leads Slapstick Chase Through Copa America Match, Eventually Gets Bodyslammed
Chile vs. Colombia was exciting during the first half, nonexistent for the next two hours, then soggy and boring for the second half. Thankfully, stoppage time featured an amazing moment in Idiot On The Field history, as this enterprising dumbass managed to escape a sizable horde of the security tea...
Thank You, Lionel Messi, For Demolishing The USMNT
It’s hard to think of an image that better encapsulates the confidence permeating Lionel Messi and—through osmosis, if nothing else—his fellow Argentine teammates than those few moments right before he took that free kick against the U.S. last night....
A Good Shitkicking Is What U.S. Soccer Needed
There are two ways to absorb the U.S.’s 4-0 pantsing at the hands of an overwhelmingly superior Argentina side. The first is fatalist, and is espoused by ESPN’s Doug McIntyre. It holds that this drubbing was so utter and so complete that there’s nothing constructive to take from the loss, no insight...