eric Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Free Darko On New Orleans-Dallas
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the New Orleans Hornets-Dallas Mavericks series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...

At Last, A Scenario In Which The Wealthy Win
Don't pity early departing No. 2 seeds Georgetown or Duke, not that you would. Remember, their students come from money and are getting more of it, as evidenced by their Final Four placement in the Payscale bracket based on the median income of graduating students. Stanford claims the top spot, bein...

Mark Cuban Leverages Lifting Of Blogger Ban Into Pissing Everyone Off
As many suspected would inevitably happen, the NBA had stepped in and ordered Mark Cuban to start allowing bloggers into the locker room. At last, those with Movable Type software can finally have the opportunity to see Devean George's penis. Cuban, of course, isn't taking this lying down....

Bundle Up When You Head To Comerica
We're a little late getting to this, but we need to make this clear as a public service announcement: It is extremely important that you always wear underwear to Comerica Park....

Dirk Has Fallen And He Can't Get Up (For At Least Two Weeks)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves March Madness as much as the next guy but is really tired of hearing the phrase "You can tell they don't want to go home!" I mean, seriously, do the announcers need to tell us that over and over? Are there teams of players that DO want to go home? ...

NCAA Pants Party: Memphis Vs. Texas-Arlington
Memphis Tigers (33-1) vs. Texas-Arlington Mavericks (21-11) When: Friday, 9:40 p.m. Where: Little Rock...

Bloggers Vs. Beefy Security Guards: WHO WILL WIN?
As much as we might enjoy the mental image of the Dallas Morning News' Tim McMahon, the Los Angeles Times' Andrew Kamenetzky and True Hoop's Henry Abbott pulling the old crouch-and-shove on a security guard and high-stepping it into the locker room, frantically typing while running around ina circle...

NCAA Pants Party: Tennessee Vs. American
Tennessee Volunteers (29-4) vs. American Eagles (21-11) When: Friday, 12:15 p.m. Where: Birmingham...

Will Cuban Ban The Almighty ESPN?
The Dallas Mavericks have a huge game tonight with the Los Angeles Lakers, and, whether Mark Cuban lets any bloggers in or not, we'll certainly be reading all about it on about 1,000 blogs. (OK, maybe 100.) Throwing down his gauntlet, Henry Abbott from ESPN's True Hoop is making the trip. He seems t...

Texas Arlington Mavericks
1. You Ain't From Around Here, Are Ya, Boy? Ten of the eleven players listed as eligible on the UTA roster are from the state of Texas. The eleventh is 6'1" Guard Brandon Long, who hails from Richton Park, Illinois. The Junior was scoring 12 ppg before an injury vs. Texas Christian put him out for t...

American Eagles
1. Curse-Breakers. Have you ever played Mario Kart and, just when it looks like you're going to win, the computer defies physics and sends Wario out to give you some competition? And then, thanks to a freaking green shell, Wario ends up winning? That's pretty much the relationship between AU and Hol...

Mark Cuban Dislikes Bloggers Who Aren't Him
We know. You're like us. You've always wished professional sports owners could be more like Mark Cuban. He's cool! He's like a real fan! He has a blog! He's not afraid to pick a nonsensical fight with Midwesterners! But, alas, we should perhaps not be too surprised: He's as bad as the rest of them....

Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...

Yankees-Red Sox Feud Reaches Depths Of A Free Hat
If you haven't been paying attention to Hank "Raul Castro" Steinbrenner's words about the Red Sox in the last few days, congratulations! You're officially aware of the 28 other teams of the league....

Keith Van Horn Has A Nice Gig, If You Can Get It
After the Jason Kidd trade finally went down — Mark Cuban says "this deal will have impact!" — the one question everyone had was ... Keith Van Horn's still playing? No, he isn't, which you probably know by now; he just never filed the papers. And now he's even richer than he was before....

Only Devean George Understands The Power He Wields
Of all the comments in the wake of the Jason Kidd trade that was, oddly, blocked by Devean George of all people, our favorite might have been in the live blog of the Mavs' game against the Blazers:...

Yeah, Well, Kelvin Sampson's Still A Jerk
We couldn't possibly agree more with legendary Illini basketball reporter Mark Tupper, who said, "at no time did I think Illinois was going to win that very exciting, very emotional basketball game with Indiana." It was exciting, and we had hope, and we leapt across the room with Jeffrey Jordan hit ...

Where My Team Stands: New England Patriots
We've asked a couple excellent writers who are fans of each Super Bowl team to talk about where their team stands going into next week's "Big" "Game." Last week brought us Peter Schrager from FoxSports.com opining on his Giants. Today it's Eric Gillin of Esquire.com on the Patriots. Enjoy....
