et Page 1309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chad Barrett Scores Goal In Opening Minute, Injures Self Celebrating
Sounders forward Chad Barrett came off in the second minute due to a hamstring injury suffered while celebrating his goal, scored in the first minute....
Idiot Yankees Fan Throws Back Home Run Ball, Hits Brett Gardner
Brett Gardner took some friendly fire today in the Bronx as a fan attempted to throw back a fourth-inning home run ball off the bat of José Bautista and succeeded in drilling the Yankees outfielder in the back of the skull....
<i>Conan the Barbarian</i> Is Schwarzenegger At His Darkest, And Maybe Best
There’s a moment, early in Conan the Barbarian, when Arnold Schwarzenegger is wandering around some ancient city, high on some mysterious substance, giggling with his Mongol archer sidekick. He takes a few steps backwards and then stumbles into a camel. Without really looking at what he’s doing, he ...
Classic Man: "Always Invite A Few Sworn Enemies To Your Parties"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Earlier this week we addressed how to interact with the ladies; today, we’ll tackle dinner parties. ...
Report: NFL Might Sell Season Tickets For Non-Existent L.A. Team
According to Fox Sports’ Mike Garafolo, NFL owners will meet next week and discuss selling season tickets to NFL fans in Los Angeles. As you are probably aware, there is no NFL team in L.A. for these fans to go watch with their season tickets, but who cares!...
Tricky Softball Dude Hits Backwards Home Run
This guy’s name is Renaud Lefort, and he’s a member of Montreal’s Les 4 Chevaliers, which is apparently the Harlem Globetrotters of the softball world. That feels weird as hell to type, but, anyway, look at this backwards homer....
Baseball Squirrel Just Thinks It Can Go Wherever It Wants
A dumb squirrel jumped onto the field in the eighth inning of today’s Royals-Tigers game, and acted like it owned the damn place. The stupid thing ran around as if people were there to watch it. Hey, here’s a newsflash: they weren’t....
Mets Pitcher Falls Off Curb, Re-Breaks Arm
The Mets’ recent hot streak has made them look like an honest-to-God playoff team, as they’ve taken over first place in the NL East. Some people are ready to believe that the team’s days of bumbling ineptitude are dwindling, but fear not! Even when the team is winning, #LolMets finds a way....
Mike Pettine Has Some Backhanded Praise For Josh McCown
Josh McCown will “likely” be the Browns’ Week 1 starter. Ideally, he’s a placeholder for a year or two to mentor Johnny Manziel, who could take over when the Browns are ready to challenge. But head coach Mike Pettine sounds bullish on McCown’s longer-term prospects, saying he combines the experience...
Adrian Peterson Gets Off Probation 15 Months Early
Adrian Peterson was sentenced to two years probation after pleading guilty to misdemeanor reckless assault last November. That probation was suddenly cut short when Judge Kelly Case signed a motion to terminate the sentence last week, and the Montgomery County District Attorney isn’t too happy about...
Enjoy This Great Fan-Shot Video Of Ronda Rousey Destroying Bethe Correia
By now you’ve surely seen the beatdown that Ronda Rousey put on Bethe Correia last Saturday, but why not watch it from a wider angle, complete with flashbulbs and crowd noise?...
Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....
Adrian Beltre Messes With Someone Else, For Once
Adrian Beltre’s frequently the target of his teammates’ antics, usually when he excels, but the Rangers third baseman had some fun as the instigator with Astros third base coach Gary Pettis Tuesday night....
Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...
Michael Jordan Victimized By Meme-Wielding Teen
While giving a speech to a gym full of kids at a youth camp, Michael Jordan encountered every 52-year-old man’s nightmare scenario: a teen with a deep understanding of internet memes....
Master Of NBA Mimicry Unveils Perfect Kobe Bryant Impression
@BdotAdot5, the man who graced us with that balls-out homage to Russell Westbrook, has been hard at work pumping out more impressions of NBA players. His work as James Harden and Tim Duncan are highly recommended, but his latest entry may be his best:...
Judge Rules Rams Can Build Publicly Financed Stadium Without A Vote
Thanks to a judge’s ruling, the St. Louis Rams are one step closer to fleecing the residents of St. Louis for hundreds of millions of dollars....
The Best And Worst Of Dr. Seuss
I read a lot of children’s books. Some are terrible, many are decent, and a few are truly wonderful. Most authors don’t have the staying power to slot multiple entries in all three categories while achieving worldwide fame and fortune; in fact, Dr. Seuss is the only one that comes to mind....