et Page 2041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hire Ryno Now. I insist.
I've already admitted my Cubs fandom to you. So bear with me having to instantaneously share this info (H/T Tomuban) with you ......
Jay Mariotti Due in Court on Sept. 17
Sunday keepsake: Here's a link to the L.A. County Sheriff's Department Inmate Information Sheet for one Mariotti, Jay, no middle name; DOB 6.22.59, 5'10", 165 pounds, brown/brown, Booking No.: 2449208....
Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
A Tomlinson Fan Wears Adult Diapers in Brooklyn. Why?
I'd know the answer if the fan in question was Namath sans cell-phone waist-unit. But it's not....
Private Stache: Roger Clemens Gets Intimate With Old Bush, For Once
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Nenad Krstic Was Arrested For Throwing That Chair
Following yesterday's basketbrawl at the Acropolis Tournament, Athens police arrested Nenad Krstic for his role in the fight since his chair hit Yannis Bouroussis, leaving Bouroussis with a "bloody wound on the side of his head." Plate-breakingly bizarre updates inside....
All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...
Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....
LeGarette Blount's Punching Problem
First there was this one. Then there was this one. Now, College Football Talk reveals another time Blount's temper was channeled through his fists. There's a good chance Blount's first career rushing stat in the NFL will be for -15 yards. [PFT/CFT]...
Greeks And Serbs Fight It Out On The Basketball Court, With Their Fists
The Acropolis Tournament in Athens ended today when the Greek and Serbian teams got into a bench-clearing brawl. Come for the punching, stay for the Nenad Krstic chair-throwing. [AP]...
Chad Ochocinco Is A Hypocrite When It Comes To Dick Towels
Today Ochocinco Tweeted a picture of himself wearing a dick towel. So why did he refuse to be associated with one at the Super Bowl?...
Abbey Clancy Decides To Forgive Naughty Peter Crouch
Those who enjoyed yesterday's particularly good looking list of Women Scorned might have noticed that around 33.3 percent of them still managed to forge ahead with their relationships in spite of the various allegations regarding French underpants models and saggy 93-year-old prostitutes....
Vin Scully Doesn't Understand Your Newfangled Haircut, Troy Tulowitzki
In the 6th inning of last night's Rockies-Dodgers game, Vin Scully decided to carefully examine Troy Tulowitzki's hairstyle after learning it is called a mullet, which to Scully had always been—and always will be—a type of fish. Listen. [Wezen-Ball]...
What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...
Last Night's Winner: Antonio Cromartie's Seed
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Antonio Cromartie's many many children, who each got a mention on last night's Hard Knocks, even if he had to use his fingers and toes to count them....
How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Brett Favre's Press Conference, Remixed Flatulently
Brett Favre held a press conference today to officially announce he was returning to the Vikings for one more failed Super Bowl run. While he discussed the physical toll that the game has taken on him, it became clear: Brett's really old....
Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 1
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 1: "Fuck" narrowly edges "shit."...
Rick Reilly® Writes Column A Lot Like Other Rick Reilly® Column
When he isn't squirting various hypothetical juices in various hypothetical eyes, Rick Reilly® is usually recycling his own material. Yesterday's column finds him complaining about golf's picayune rules. Again....
BRETT FAVRE UPDATE... From A Man Riding An Elevator In Edina, Minnesota
Reader Alex Quigley bumped into Captain Croc Shot this morning in a Westin Hotel. He files this exclusive report....