et Page 2049 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don’t Expect A Glut Of Goals In The World Cup Final
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Yes, Dennis Green's Son, Who Apparently Writes For ESPN, Had Some Kiddie Porn On His Computer
I almost typed "kitty porn," which I assume is a lesser charge in Connecticut. Green was also charged with possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia. He was gonna have quite a party by himself. [Hartford Courant]...
Surveying The Wreckage Of The Matt Millen Era
Today, the Lions released Daniel Bullocks, the last player remaining from a 5-year stretch of drafts. That's 0-for-40. Here's what became of them all, and I warn you, it's not pretty....
Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....
The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....
Story On Dean Smith's Failing Health May Give You Some Dust In Your Eye
"People close to the coach say his famous memory is slipping. On some days he doesn't recognize people he has known for years." [Fayetteville Observer]...
Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...
MARK IT DOWN: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY METROPOLITAN REGION SAYS...CHAD OCHOCINCO
"*Empire State of Mind* *wink* *wink*only the smart folk will put this together and figure out what i am talking about #6" [OchoCincoNewsNetwork, image via deviantART]...
The Porn Star Behind The "BJs For Holland" Twitter Campaign Revealed
One of the perks of this job is random late-night emails from adult actresses. Vicky Vette dropped us a line to clarify a few things about the industry ladies offering their unique services to thousands of people if Holland wins it all....
Ex-Seton Hall Coach Arrested For Shoplifting A Murse
Much-maligned Bobby Gonzalez was nabbed at the Short Hills Mall after walking out of the Ralph Lauren store with a $1400 "men's satchel." He's expected to plead "I didn't want anyone to know I was buying one." [Star-Ledger]...
Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....
World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Netherlands
Semifinal No. 1 is here. Can Uruguay continue its historic run, or will the Dutch squadron fancy-footwork its way into the championship game? Try to stay cool and comment below....
It Was The Best Of Mullets, It Was The Worst Of Mullets
The nation of Iran has officially made mullets illegal. But if you've got one, you got $5 off at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday! This being said, there's never a good time to be in Iran or Pittsburgh....
Uhhh...Go Netherlands?
Never mind running through the streets naked. Adult actress Bobbi Eden promises, um, "BJs" for all her Twitter followers if the Oranje win the World Cup. [Twitter]...
In The 209, They Make Commemorative T-Shirts!
Yes, the A's are selling "Get Off My Mound" t-shirts. They were a big hit in the visiting locker room last night among the Yankees, but Dallas Braden his own self isn't too pleased....
Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....
Deadspin Classic: He ... Could ... Go ... All ... The ... Way!
There's no earthly reason to run this again today, except that it involves one thing America will be full of this weekend: a large man in a tropical shirt. And it remains funny as hell. You will always be with us, leather....
Here's The NBA All-Star Game Edited To Look Like A Soccer Game, Complete With Spanish Guy Flopping
If you've ever wondered what basketball would be like if it were as low-scoring and anticlimactic as soccer, this is the video for you. [Urlesque]...
Last Night's Winner: Officially Sanctioned Baseball Betting
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Major League Baseball, which introduced a devious new scheme to rob optimistic fans. And, damn it, it's just so brilliant, you'll probably give them your cash too....