et Page 2053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly®: King Of The Juice
"Anyway, it's not an important story," Rick Reilly writes in his latest, which, like all Reilly efforts, is basically a kitten-hanging-from-a-tree-limb poster expressed in words, "just one that squirts apple juice right in your face." Hmm. Sound familiar?...

Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

Pittsburgh Seeks Brave, Able-Bodied Young People For Controlled Toilet Flushing
Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news....

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

A Paean To The Playground Hoop
More info than you ever realized you needed on New York's unique blacktop rim, which gave birth to Stephon Marbury, Rafer Alston and Sebby Telfair — and explains, via Science(!), why they can't shoot for shit. [NY Times]...

The One Where Mark Sanchez Has A New Miami Waitress
Poise'n: (April15th) So I know the proud father of Sanchez's new flavor of the week. He was showing me cell phone pics of the two the other day. She's a waitress named Lindsey Hughes who works at Club LIV in Miami [GQPhotoshoot]...

The One Where Mark Sanchez Goes To A Graduation Party Tonight
Where The Poise is:Mark Sanchez is in the bay area visiting one of "Football's Fabulous Females" and is supposed to join her for a graduation party at The Saddle Rack in Fremont, CA on Saturday night, 5/29...Requesting anonymity. (GQPhotoshoot)...

The One Where The Elon Baseball Team Will Fight You Over Anything
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

The One Where Nyjer Morgan Poops In A Gatorade Bottle
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Don't Ruin The <em>American Idol</em> Finale For Derek Jeter
Jeter DVR'd Wednesday night's AI results show, but didn't want to hear the results until he flew back to New York to watch it. SPOILER ALERT: It was the boring white guy, not the crunchy white girl who looks like she smells!...

Alvin Gentry Loses His Lunch (And Now No One Is Hungry)
What is going on with sports TV tonight? Someone must have spiked his porkchop....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

This Is What Orson Welles Sounds Like When He's Drunk
Here's a delightful set of outtakes from a Welles commercial for Paul Masson wines. As the old adage says: If the check clears, Orson Welles'll shill for your crappy products, but don't expect him to be sober doing it. [Pursuitlist via NYMag]...

Big Ben Combines His Love Of Bullies, Commerce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It Appears 50 Cent Went On His Own Public Humiliation Diet
Mr. Cent went from a jacked 214 lbs. to 160 in nine weeks to play a cancer-stricken football player in "Things Fall Apart." It does not mention if he drank a fuckload of green tea. (H/T Gillin.) [ThisIs50]...

An Interview With Mike Cetera, My Literary Cubs Foil
If you've read Are We Winning?, you know my friend Mike, a Cubs fan who goes to the game with my father and me and worries about his young son becoming a Cubs fan. Well, he still exists....

Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....

Photos From The World Poutine-Eating Championship Will Disgust You
Last Saturday, Toronto hosted the first-ever Major League Eating-sanctioned poutine-eating contest, and by the looks of it, it was a gravy-and-curd-soaked madhouse. Torontoist has an account of the festivities and more photos like this one of Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos. [Torontoist]...

And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....