et Page 2069 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crips And Bloods Shooting Baskets, Not Each Other (Temporarily) (UPDATE)
Kilpatrick, a juvenile detention center in Malibu, is making a run at a sectional hoops title, thanks to a theatrically plucky coach and an uneasy Bloods-Crips alliance. Where have I heard that one before?...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...

Last Night's Winner: Sports Shouters
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like sports shouters, whose soapboxes were raised an extra couple inches thanks to Tiger Woods' triumphantly selfish return to Augusta....

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...

Even NCAA Sanctions Are Harsher Than Final Four Scalping Laws
Scalpers won't be able to re-sell Final Four tickets outside Lucas Oil Stadium...unless they pay $20 for a license. Hey, Indianapolis has to do something to lure business back to town. [Indy Star]...

Mid-Major ISO Unattached Team For Casual Encounter, Possibly More
We'd like to think college basketball scheduling is a thoroughly considered, professional process among teams, conferences and the NCAA. But no. There's a message board where teams look for hook-ups. Let's explore the Craigslist of college hoops....

Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....

DePaul Coach Search Reaches New Low
DePaul, basketball head coachless since January 11, has posted the opening on the university's careers website. Can you say, "Quentin Richardson is not walking through that door?" You're qualified. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...

Another, More Pissy, Theory About What Happened In A Milledgeville Bathroom With Ben Roethlisberger
I secretly hoped that the always entertaining, exclamatory MediaTakeOut would have something dopey to add to the sexual assault allegations against Big Ben and good googly moogly did they ever....

Tiger Woods Returning For Masters
"The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta."[ESPN]...

Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....

Ducks 911 Call: 'M-A-S-O-L-I, Like The Football Player'
The best part about Oregon's Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry pleading guilty to second-degree burglary is that police can officially release the 911 call. Here it is, and it's excellent....

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

The Best In NCAA Conspiracy Theories
The NCAA Selection Committee is a shadowy backroom cabal, operating with minimal transparency and zero oversight. But do they really rig the brackets? We look at five of the most plausible theories, and rank them on their merits....

Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...

Why Does The Selection Committee Keep Screwing The Mid-Majors?
Joe Sheehan over at Basketball Prospectus is back aboard a favorite old hobbyhorse of his — the NCAA selection committee's habit of matching up non-BCS schools in the first round — and damned if he doesn't have a point....

Clark Kellogg Renamed The Midwest Bracket The "Bang Bus" Bracket For Some Reason
Clark Kellogg's mind must be in the gutter. Or he has some nefarious plans for Evan Turner and the San Diego State cheer squad. H/t Hernando for the video....

The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...

Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....

Tiger Woods' Comeback Will Be Ratings Blockbuster, CBS Prez Says
"[T]hat is an indication that whatever he does has enormous interest. And whatever he does on the golf course for the first time since Thanksgiving will be of interest to almost every man and women in this country."[SI/Deitsch]...