et Page 2089 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Breaking News: Red Sox Fan Is Terrible Human
A college newspaper columnist wrote the douchiest column in the history of douchey college newspaper columns. What's the sports angle? Check the author's headshot. There's your sports angle....

The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....

John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Hit King Is Hitting That
Think Pete Rose spends every day broken up about not being in the Hall of Fame? Looks like he's got other things by on his brain....

Who Said Mike Tyson Can't Still Throw A Punch?
Tyson's been arrested at LAX after getting into a fight with paparazzi. Tracking... (but not really, because who really gives a sh*t anymore.) [TMZ]...

Arkansas Suspends Just About Everyone Over Gang-Bang Allegations, Rape LOLs, Other Stuff
The Razorbacks will suit up just nine players for their opener on Friday, and five guys in all have been suspended, the penalty for momentarily turning the program into Caligula of the Ozarks....

Finally, A Championship That Could Actually Save Detroit
Joe Cada, a 21-year-old from Shelby Township, Michigan, won the World Series of Poker's $8.55 million Main Event prize. That's like half the state's GDP. (By the way, 21 is also Michigan's legal gambling age, so....beginner's luck, right?) [Detroit4Lyfe, Freep]...

Media Continues Psycho-Social Deconstruction Of Elizabeth Lambert, Chick Fights
""Video of the incident has spurred a national debate about sportsmanship, gender roles, double standards regarding aggressiveness and news media coverage and the sexualized portrayal of female athletes." Don't forget Freudian photos of women giving birth to soccer balls. [NYTimes]...

Zach Randolph's Head Continues To Wreak Havoc
Just seven games into his pro career, Grizzlies rookie Hasheem Thabeet breaks his jaw after running into his teammate's rather prodigious melon. Can you eat Memphis BBQ through a straw? [Photo via Memphis Commercial Appeal]...

SEC Refs Are Afraid Of Technology. Like, 1990s Technology.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is <em>Exactly</em> What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers]...

Jayhawk Superfan Has Quite The Rap Sheet
KU's most visible fan, White Owl, is nowhere to be seen this season, thanks to some pretty hilarious legal trouble. That's him up in the picture. He's the one who's white. And a little crazy....

He'll Never Be Banned From The Gambling Hall of Fame
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Hey, Look At That! It's College Basketball Season!
Funny how it sneaks up on you, huh? The regular season begins in fitting fashion tonight as the defending champs take on Isiah Thomas in a game he didn't want to coach and no one else wants to watch. Beautiful....

The Handwringing Over Jeremy Tyler's Foreign Adventure Has Begun
Jeremy Tyler left high school to play professionally in the Holy Land, where the plan was to do a credible Kevin Garnett impression and expose the folly of the minimum-age rule. The plan was not to play like Oliver Miller....

<em>Boston Herald</em> Loves Hometown Sports Fella For His Zaniness
I guess Simmons is searching for the stock Reilly®-esque friendly choke-fight pose during this book tour to better showcase his personality. He calls this one "wacky lobster clawed stroke victim." [BH]...

Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....