et Page 2093 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....
StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....
To Sell Nets, NBA Might Have To Look The Other Way On The Soviet Stuff
Running a financial and criminal background check on a Russian oligarch is not as easy as it sounds. "Information can be had, but you have to be prepared to accept the grayness." Wait, that's exactly how it sounds. [NYTimes]...
Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....
Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....
Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by making everyone forget how much they hate him. Take his hand and he'll lead you there.......
Wake Up, Deadspin Redux: Okay Deadspin, It's You, Me And This Skull-Shaped Bottle Of Vodka...
...let's see what happens. We had some unforeseen logistical issues to work through this morning but I think we're in the clear now. Consider this a learning experience for everyone, I guess....
Mike Tyson Says It Was A Pleasure To Have Known, Bitten Evander Holyfield
Oprah gave Mike Tyson a chance to apologize to Evander Holyfield for real today. Tyson passed. He does more dancing in these 30 seconds than he did in his entire career. What a champion! [Oprah]...
God Bless Ronan Tynan’s Anti-Semitism
If you're heading to Yankee Stadium for Game 1 of the ALCS tonight, you can forget about hearing Ronan Tynan sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning. Know why? Because he hates Jews! WOOHOO!...
I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'
That prosecuting attorney who decided to charge Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings with only a single misdemeanor charge, instead of the police's harsher recommendations? He's a proud graduate of Louisville Law School. [Rush The Court]...
Coach Can't Keep Hands Off The Merchandise
Go ahead and play with yourself. It's perfectly natural and I won't judge you. Even if you're a high school basketball coach, it's still a personal matter. But do it in the middle of Costco, and that'll get you headlines....
Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...
A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....
Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...
Oprah To Host Tyson-Holyfield III
Mike Tyson is heading back to Oprah Winfrey's show on Friday and he's bringing his old dinner companion, Evander Holyfield. What could those two possibly have to talk about? [CBSNews]...
These Athletes Are Going To Hell
A fundamentalist Baptist church is making headlines for their upcoming book/album burning, but their website reveals a hidden treasure: the Index Of Ungodly Athletes....