et Page 2131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yep. That's Bruce Pearl Rapping With No Shirt On
The UT athletic department held their third annual VOLSCARS ceremony that I think is supposed to be a play on "Oscars" (as in Academy Awards) but it just reads as "Vol Scars," which is disgusting. Anyway, it's some sort of school-wide ESPY awards and this year's "entertainment" featured head basketb...

The Queen Of Queens
America's Sideline Princess became America's Baseline Princess, spending most of last night's Citi Field opener giving fans an extensive tour of the new ballpark, while slack-jawed yokels stood idly by and tried not to drool....

Isiah Thomas Is Never Going Away
Rumor has it that Florida International wants to has hired organizational wunderkind Isiah Thomas to be their new head basketball coach. Unbelievable. I guess FIU doesn't have a history department. [ESPN]...

We've Got Bush
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Just One More Out
One of the saddest stories I ever heard was when Harry Kalas was denied the chance to call the Phillies 1980 World Series live due to NBC's broadcast restrictions....

Masters Of Puppets I'm Pulling Your Strings
Barring a miraculous Tiger comeback or something extraordinary like Augusta being overtaken by Somali pirates, you can consider this the last post of the day on Easter Sunday. It's your Easter DUAN....

Barry Zito Controls The Universe
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Your Easter Weekend NBA Man Meat
The 2008-09 Cleveland Cavaliers have earned a reputation as being not only an excellent basketball team but also a loose, fun-loving crew. This fun apparently includes drawing fake tattoos on each others' backs....

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

Your Team Is A Fan Of Being On Probation
Please don't take any "What cast member of 'Saved By The Bell' is your 4-star basketball recruit?" quizzes on Facebook, unless you want your program to get slapped with an NCAA violation for being dumb....

The Kiss Cam Makes The Ladies Wet
These happy, affectionate Hamburg fans are just minding their own business, grinning eerily, picking each other up, and sharing a kiss to celebrate their favorite team's goal against Manchester City, as is the German custom, when BAM - beer to the head. The German commitment to austerity is commenda...

Well, That's One Way To Fire Your Trainer
Miguel Cotto's split with his uncle/manager Evangelista Cotto on Wednesday was completely peaceful, except for the ugly brawl and the cinder block through the window of his new jaguar....

A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....

This Is Why The Internet Wins
In a day inundated with depressing news, it only seems fitting to end it with mindless insanity courtesy of Mr. Ufford at Warming Glow. This is your reward for being respectful today....

High School Basketball Without The High Schools
Sports Illustrated has a very curious story this week about Findlay Prep, the team that won ESPN's inaugrual RISE National High School Invitational tournament last weekend. There's just one issue—Findlay Prep is not a high school....

Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...

Off The Top Of The Backboard, Into The Rafters, Off The Heating Duct, Down A Suspension Wire...Nothing But Net
Too bad it didn't count. [JSonline.com]...

Adrian Peterson Does Not Get Hockey
Like many a local celebrity before him, Adrian Peterson was given the honor kicking off the Minnesota Wild game last night with their traditional chant of "Let's Play Hockey." That didn't work out so well....

Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....