et Page 2155 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fortunately They Had A 100-Point Mercy Rule
Here is the Dallas Academy girls varsity basketball team, which battled to a hard-fought 100-0 loss to The Covenant School recently....

Big East Hoops Makes Big Ben Sleepy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Buttsaw That Is The NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals
Well. That happened. If anything this exercise in permanent body desecration has taught me this: I will never, ever bet on the Philadelphia Eagles again....

Jeff Kent Will Fight No More Forever
Irascible shooter of critters Jeff Kent, the all-time leader in home runs among second basemen and super arch-enemy of Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley, is calling it quits....

New Three-Point Line Making Terrible Shooters Slightly More Terrible
Halfway through the first year of the 20'9" arc, the national three-point field goal percentage is 33.97%, the second-lowest since the line was introduced back in 1986. I still blame Steve Alford. [Rivals]...

Rex Ryan Gets All "They Pull A Knife, You Pull A Gun" For Fawning New York Media
"The players will have each other's backs, and if you take a swipe at one of ours, we'll take a swipe at two of yours." [NJ.com]...

Super Bowl Sub-Plot #1: Whisenhunt vs. Roethlisberger
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl for over the next two weeks. We will beat them down even further....

Hope. Change. Buzzsaw Tattoos.
This is the Mighty Jim Cooke sketch of what will be placed on my upper right buttock very soon. No red birds, no shooting flames — just buzzsaw....

Bill Self Explains Him...self
Kansas is "looking into" Bill Self's possibly illegal contact with star recruit John Wall, who probably won't go to Kansas anyway, because who wants to play for cheaters? [AP/Google]...

Bill Self Talks To Who He Wants To, When He Wants To
Every college basketball program cheats the NCAA regulations—that's been well established, right?—but some are a little more brazen about, if this alleged tale about Kansas coach Bill Self has any truth to it....

My Super Bowl Party Guest List Is Hereby Set
The years have not been kind to Wendy since leaving Neverland. But she's a lot more fun to hang out with. It goes without saying that's she's a huge celebrity in Japan....

Hurtle Into The Clemson Stands At Your Own Risk
Here's Wake Forest's Chas McFarland falling into a group of Clemson fans in the stands on Saturday. And here's McFarland being body slammed and pummeled by one of those fans....

Buddy's Kid Will Try His Hand With The Jets
Jets waste no time, reportedly ready to hire Ravens' defensive coordinator Rex Ryan as their new head coach sometime today. [NBCSports]...

Mr. Referee, May I Have A Quick Word With You?
He's actually Jonathan Xavier, the brother of Friar guard Jeff Xavier and all he wants to know is why there was not a foul called on Marquette after his whole family (symbolically) got poked in the eye driving to the hoop. Yes, the game was still in progress, but doesn't he deserve an answer? Don't ...

Harangody? More Like Haran-sucky! High Five?
Some highlights from the Syracuse-Notre Dame game, and that large Caucasian fellow playing in South Bend was not one of them. [Fack Youk]...

'These Breasts Property Of Mister Tebow,' And Other Ill-Advised Sporting Wagers
Time for another editon of Waxing Off; today's topic: Unfortunate "Mayors' Bets." Warning: May include description of Deadspin Managing Editor sucking a toe....

If Your New Commemorative Mets' Patch Doesn't Arrive In 30 Minutes, It's Free
Stephen Colbert reviews the new commemorative Mets' patch. "It's perfect. Notice the way the patch mirrors its fans, by not wanting to actually say it's for the Mets." [The 700 Level]...

Cowboys Cheerleader Vs. Titans Cheerleader: It Is So On
Nothing perks up our Friday like a good cheerleader catfight. Today, it's former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader/PETA supporter Bonnie Jill Laflin vs. Tennessee Titans cheerleader/rodent decapitator Melissa Hodges....

Racist Chants From the Stands: Not Just For Spain Anymore
In case the earlier item about racist remarks on the radio isn't your thing, how about fans yelling monkey noises at a black high school basketball player?...

The One With The Sorority Girl With The Poop On Her Leg
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week....