et Page 2317 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sad, Sorry Last Days Of Brett Favre
We probably should have seen this coming: Now that it's pretty much obvious to everyone on the planet that Packers quarterback Brett Favre should retire before he shows up in a Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals jersey, Emmitt Smith-style, Favre is going on one of his typical passive-aggressive...

They Must Draw 6,000 Fans, Or God Will Call Them Home
So we were watching the Illini's 89-64 victory over Southeast Missouri State last night — we have the ESPN Full Court package; you honestly do not want to know how much money we give that network — and when it was over, we flipped around the other games. It was a bad Full Court night; nothing but ...

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
It does seem like this has been happening a lot of late: The Buffalo Bills a couple of weeks ago didn't allow several fans to bring their anti-management signs into Ralph Wilson Stadium, threatening them with ejection if they didn't throw the sign away. The Associated Press interviews Mike Allenba...

Blogdom's Best: Hating The Red Wings
Imagine the most hateful sports fans you can think of, stuck indoors because of the frigid weather, allowing their fury to boil. Now give them large sticks. That's your typical NHL fan, just looking for a reason to hate the opposing team. Throw in that whole Canada-USA rivalry thing, and you've go...

Big Ben's Prom Date
We were just sent this infinitely amusing photo from Saturday's Steelers-Browns game. This woman apparently went to prom with Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and is broadcasting it to the world. (This is why being famous is terrifying; somewhere out there, there are pictures of our junio...

Do Not Mess With Anna Benson And Her Guns
What's the best post-Christmas present we could receive? How about a brand new batch of crazy from Anna Benson's Web site. She has redesigned the puppy, with all kinds of new links like "Ask Anna Anything" and "Heavy Petting." (There's also this picture, next to the disturbing caption, "Got Milk, ...

Fun With Strange Holiday Videos
Since, like us, you're probably kind of grumpy about having to work today, we invite you to enjoy two videos that are all full of holiday goodness....

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Dan Le Batard
We've never met Dan Le Batard, but this is how we picture him: green makeup, pointy hat, always carries a broom. He's looking into a crystal ball, wherein a typical Miami Herald reader is stuck, motioning helplessly, calling: "Dorothy? Where are you?" Le Batard cackles, and flying monkeys then fil...

Steelers Putting Their Thing Down
Those of you who are hoping for a Browns upset over the Steelers today are likely to end up quite sad. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is apparently still quite bitter about the afore-mentioned Mr. Football snub, and he's playing his best ball of the year....

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'l...

Athlete Run-In: Marcus Fizer's Lack Of Ones
We know we said we were gonna take some time off from the athlete run-ins, but it's the Thursday before Christmas, the wireless here is spotty (but the coffee's surprisingly good) and we want to get home early so we can be made fun of by our uncles for our hair. So here's a bonus athlete run-in st...

End Of Days For Quin Snyder
Well, OK, we're back in brittle, frighteningly cold South Central Illinois right now — where, unlike, New York, we at least didn't have to walk to work — and we watched that Illini destruction of Missouri last night. It was so brutal that we took less joy in the victory than sympathy for Missouri,...

Back Home For Braggin' Rights
Every family has its tradition over the holidays, and this is ours: We go back to our hometown of Mattoon, Illinois to watch the annual Busch Braggin' Rights college basketball game between our beloved Illini and the Missouri Tigers. It might seem silly to those weaned on the opposite coasts, but ...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Ticey
Imagine, if you will, Ron Artest blasting fans for getting in fights, or Damon Stoudamire organizing a protest against High Times, or Fred Smoot screaming at those who would use contraptions to "please" two women who happened to be lying prostrate on the deck of a boat. Hypothetically speaking....

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Roger Brown
OK, it's just time to say it: Roger Brown makes stuff up. That's the word on the street anyway. When a veteran Northeast Ohio sportswriter such as Hal Lebovitz (and when we say "veteran," we mean "was the last person to interview Custer") levels the charge, we tend to give it weight. Said the late...

The End Of Brett Favre, For Real This Time (Probably)
It has been so long since Packers quarterback Brett Favre was good that it would almost seem mean to continue thrashing him if it weren't for the John Maddens and Peter Kings of the world still treating him like Jack Twist treated Ennis Del Mar. (We imagine SI editors, in the Michelle Williams rol...

Ben Troupe Will Do Anything For His Teammate
Well, we're two months in, so we suppose CBS Sportsline's rad, dope, duuuude "SPiN" section was due for a worthwhile story. Though it's not the same since they made E-Mack! go back to his Christian name. And this morning, we have to admit, they've got one: All respect....

Get Some King Of Kings Bling
What to get this holiday season for the Christian sports fan who wants to look cool to the kids on the street but doesn't want to have to subscribe to the secular aesthetic of today's modern athlete?...

Blogdom's Best: Hating The Jets
Previously we have examined the great fan blogs of the NFL and Major League Baseball, and what an interesting journey it was. But every great story needs a strong antagonist, and to that end we now present the anti-blogs — those Web chronicles devoted to abhorrence and loathing — what the French c...

The Mind Of The Kentucky Fan
It's noon on a Saturday, you're a junior at the University of Kentucky and the game starts in two hours. You'll be close enough to the court that, if you hit just the right point, you could be on the TV. It's time to make your voice heard by the masses. But what to say? What to say?...