ew Page 2246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Enjoy Coffee Even When It's A Thousand Degrees Out
Look, the weather is the most boring topic in the world, especially when it’s some asshole on the East Coast griping about it, but it’s hot. I can’t ride my bike, I can’t give my dog a good walk, I can barely breathe. I can, though, drink coffee. I’ve found the solution....

Dutch Fans Know How To Watch Gymnastics
I watched yesterday’s balance beam final at my desk, with a pair of headphones on, and when it was over, I went right back to work. When these Dutch fans finished watching and celebrating Sanne Wevers’s surprise gold medal, they got to still be in a pool. ...

The Lions Don't Care About Their Own Zero Tolerance Policy
This afternoon, the Detroit Lions signed tight end Andrew Quarless. Quarless, who played for the Packers for five seasons, will be suspended for the first two games of the 2016 NFL season from a July 2015 altercation where he shot his gun during an altercation outside of a Miami nightclub....

NFL Threatens To Punish Players Named In Al Jazeera Report If They Don't Submit To Interviews
The NFL is threatening to suspend players named in Al Jazeera’s December report about doping in sports unless they agree to interviews with the league by Aug. 25....

What Happened To The Long Jump?
Jeff Henderson claimed Olympic gold in the long jump Saturday night. He’s the first American to win that event since 2004, though the U.S. has won long jump gold 22 of the 28 times it’s been contested at the Olympics. And this is probably the first time you’re hearing his name....

Does This Minneapolis TV Station Know How Many Games Are In An NFL Season?
Minneapolis NBC station KARE ran a live poll last night asking viewers to opine how they thought the Vikings’ season would end up. Options ranged from “0-12" to “6-6" to “Super Bowl”:...

How To Be A Flake And Still Have Friends
One of the greatest things about becoming an adult is realizing that, despite what you’ve been led to believe, most things are bad. Parties, hangouts, “chill seshes”—each one worse than the last and far inferior to sitting on a couch in a cocoon of your own filth. You know that now. And thanks to th...

Don't Ask About My Pubes, And Other Lessons From Two Famous Redheads
In February of 2015, the Concourse published an article about redheads that has had Jezebel’s Ellie Shechet and Madeleine Davies steamed ever since. They’re using Gawker Media’s Senior Week to finally respond....

Why My Team Rules: The Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are haters of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are FANS of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the hating-ass hater’s guides to other teams you love here. Drew Magary has a new book out—have you heard?...

Terry Collins Had A Good Manager Rant
Yesterday, the Mets got smoked 9-0 by the Arizona Diamondbacks, a bad baseball team that somehow managed a three-game sweep against New York. Mets manager Terry Collins was not happy with his team’s effort level during the series, and expressed his displeasure in a postgame rant....
![Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]
Preseason football is stupid, exhibit #9000: Malcolm Mitchell, the Patriots’ fourth-round wide receiver pick out of Georgia, suffered a really awful-looking elbow injury in the second quarter of New England’s game against the Saints tonight. What a sport!...

Smelliest Sports, Ranked
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where readers can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to...

Three American Olympians Worth Tuning In For<em></em>
It’s Day 6 at the Olympics, and while athletes like Katie Ledecky, Adrian Carambula, and Mara Abbott have already seized their time on the world stage, more are surely to come. Here are a few American Olympians to watch for:...

Alex Rodriguez Gets No Love From Joe Girardi, Helps The Yankees Win Anyway
After Alex Rodriguez’s Sunday announcement that he would retire following Friday’s game, Yankees manager Joe Girardi made it sound like Rodriguez would get to go out on at least some of his terms—that is, swinging. Except Girardi didn’t play Rodriguez on Sunday. Or on Tuesday. Or start him last nigh...

How Many Coworkers Are You Allowed To Bone?
A version of this blog has sat in my drafts folder since March. It would be nice to say that I didn’t publish it back then because we were “going through a change”—we were, we hired two new writers—and it was maybe not the time to gratuitously throw the word “bone” (the colloquial word for the sex a...

Alex Rodriguez Was Big Enough To Take All The Blame
It’s obvious where this begins: Thirteen years ago, at baseball’s annual winter meetings, the entire story was Alex Rodriguez and when and where he would be going. The Texas Rangers, who’d averaged 90 losses in three seasons with Rodriguez at shortstop, had made clear that they wanted out from under...

José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...

Remember When Prince Fielder Slapped An Inside-The-Park Home Run?
According to Ken Rosenthal, the Rangers will announce tomorrow that Prince Fielder is going to retire. Fielder had neck surgery a few weeks ago, and it’s apparently going to keep him from playing again. He will retire with 319 dingers, exactly the same amount as his father Cecil had in his career....

Why Your Team Sucks 2016: New Orleans Saints<em></em>
Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....

Sobbing A-Rod Announces The Yankees Are Ending His Career<em></em><em></em>
The New York Yankees called a press conference this morning to announce that Alex Rodriguez’s career as a Yankee will end next week. His final game will be on Friday against the Rays, after which the Yankees will release him, and he will retire and become a “special advisor and instructor” to the cl...