ew Page 2254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...

Root For The Rockies This Year
This is part of an occasional series of slightly belated MLB season previews....

GRRM Reads New Old Pages, Lending Credence To Insane <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Fan Theory
Famed no-pages-haver George R.R. Martin went to Balticon last weekend, revealed Brienne of Tarth’s secret lineage, and read some pages, which, despite their fresh unveiling, are old. He’s been slowly letting out advance chapters from The Winds Of Winter, the sixth volume in his A Song Of Ice And Fir...

Neymar Sucks At Baseball
Barcelona forward Neymar is currently spending part of what passes for an offseason (in just a few weeks he’ll be off training with the national team for the Olympics) here in New York City. Like many a soccer star visiting the states, Neymar has dabbled in the local sports culture, taking in a Mets...

Mets Fan Beats Chris Sale In Rock-Paper-Scissors, Wins Autograph
Chris Sale didn’t pitch today against the Mets, but he did have time for a little pregame rock-paper-scissors with an autograph-seeking Mets fan. My man lost, like the White Sox have in his last two starts, and he graciously signed the autograph....

World War II Veteran Has Decent Off-Speed Stuff
World War II veteran Burke Waldron tossed the first pitch for the Seattle Mariners for Monday’s Memorial Day game. Hitters beware: this guy has a mean breaking ball....

Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...

Steph Curry Remembered Who He Is, And That Was That
The Western Conference finals generated a lot of conversation about tactics and matchups. Lineups were scrutinized, the length and athleticism of the Thunder were deemed A Problem for the Warriors, and everyone wondered how Steph Curry was supposed to regain his balance amid all those long arms and ...

The Warriors Restored Order To The Universe
Over the last two seasons, the Golden State Warriors gained an air of inevitability. Besides putting up a ridiculous 140-24 regular season record and marching to an NBA championship, it came from the nagging feeling that, no matter how well their opponent was playing, the Warriors would easily rip o...

Let's Appreciate The Cruel Efficiency Of Klay Thompson's Game 6 Three-Point Orgy
Presumably a couple of goatherds in the Eurasian Steppe and perhaps deep-water oil platform welders in the North Sea are still unaware, so let’s start with the obvious: Klay Thompson had himself a night Saturday. The other Golden State guard took over the elimination Game 6 for the Warriors to such ...

The Golden State Warriors Will Win The NBA Finals
Draymond Green is bad. Steph Curry is Chucky Atkins. No matter. Klay Thompson is a blank-eyed three-shooting robot from space and no one will ever stop the Warriors. I’ll die before they lose again. Burn in hell, Oklahoma City Thunder....

The Pelicans' Bryce Dejean-Jones Has Been Shot To Death In Texas (UPDATE)
Bryce Dejean-Jones, a 23-year-old shooting guard for the New Orleans Pelicans, is dead in Dallas County, Texas, according to a report in the Ames Tribune. The cause is being reported as a gunshot to the abdomen....

The World’s Greatest Crying Jordan Artist
Originally published at Vocativ. ...

Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....

The Warriors Aren't Dead Yet
It was simple enough to write the Warriors off when they were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination (only nine teams have ever come back from such a deficit), but they are not dead yet. The Thunder effectively blitzed them into submission in both games in Oklahoma City, and while Russell Westbrook a...

Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...

The Thunder Are What's Wrong With The Warriors
So every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns, the Golden State Warriors, the best regular-season NBA team of all time, got duffed by a combined 52 points in two blowout losses in Oklahoma City by the Thunder, previously every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns. This was the ...

Now David Wright Is Publicly Scolding Matt Harvey
Matt Harvey, nominal ace of the New York Mets, didn’t stick around to talk to reporters after his most recent disaster of a start, and the local press reacted to the snub in predictable fashion. Now they have moved into Phase 2 of their war with Harvey by trolling the locker room for teammates willi...

Report: Minnesota Wrestling Coach Found Students Dealing Xanax, Told Them To Write Essay About It
When Minnesota’s wrestling coach found out that a few of his athletes were dealing Xanax out of their dorm, he didn’t tell the university or the police. Instead, he took what was left of the drugs and made the offenders write a one-page essay about their feelings and what they had learned, the Star ...

Jose Bautista Murders Beverage
The Blue Jays beat the Yankees tonight and the Blue Jays’ best slugger even had the nerve to take it out on Yankees fans, smashing a beverage (presumably beer?) showering the upper chunk of a section in suds (or maybe soda! who knows!). ...