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Yankees Yell At Carlos Gomez For His Lack Of Prof--[DEAFENING FART NOISE]
The thing that sucks about being Carlos Gomez—a guy who’s earned a reputation as a “hot head,” or whatever it is grumpy baseball men are calling people—is that every little thing he does is going to be taken as a slight....

Larry Bowa Is Ejected, Drops F-Bombs, Threatens Daniel Murphy With A Beaning
Phillies bench coach Larry Bowa was ejected in the seventh inning of tonight’s 6-5 loss to the Mets, and made sure to get his money’s worth as he threw a couple of F-bombs Daniel Murphy’s way and threatened him with a beaning....

The Mets Are Homering For Fun, And Probably Going To Make The Playoffs
We’re used to writing about the Mets for other reasons around here, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes while trying to play this one straight, but the Mets offense absolutely went bonkers Monday night, and it increasingly looks like they are going to skate right into the playoffs....

Patriots Sign Reggie Wayne
Per Adam Schefter, the Patriots and WR Reggie Wayne have agreed to a one-year deal. It’s a poke in the eye of the Colts, no doubt, but New England wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t think Wayne could be productive....

How Do I Hit On Girls At The Gym?
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where folks can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to h...

Obituary: Please Donate To Tom Brady's Ballghazi Defense
Barbara “Gigi” Shippee of Rhode Island passed away at age 74 on Wednesday. In her obituary provided to the Providence Journal, she asked that friends and family help Tom Brady defeat the Ginger Hammer in court....

Little League World Series Kid Gives Up Grand Slam, Doesn't Care
See, Mekhi Garrard gets it. This is what youth sports are about. Fuck winning. It’s all about hanging with your buddies and having a laugh, even if it’s at Cole Wagner rocking you for a grand slam to put the final touches on an 18-0 demolition job....

Little Leaguer Blasts Homer While Mom Is Doing Live ESPN Interview
South Carolina’s Terrence Gist hammered a ball way out of the park in his team’s Little League World Series game against Rhode Island today—just as ESPN was sitting down with his mom for a live interview. The pandering LLWS broadcasts can be awful at times, but maybe it’s worth it for moments like t...

Deadspin 25: At Least Notre Dame Has A New Quarterback To Be Excited About
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

32 Paragraphs About 32 Teams: A Thinking Fan's Guide To The NFL Season
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders Almanac. Buy it here as a PDF, or here in print....

The NFL's Policy On Punishing Weed Smokers Is Arbitrary And Retrograde
Congratulations to Oday Aboushi on his one-game suspension for violating the NFL’s substances of abuse policy. Police arrested the Jets offensive lineman in January and charged him with driving while suspended, careless driving, and possession of a controlled dangerous substance after they found “a ...

<i>American Ultra </i>Is A Sweet, Ultraviolent Stoner Love Story
1. There’s an undeniable kick in watching a reedy nerd unleash cinematic violence, particularly when he’s confused by it, separate from the act, almost observing it. I’ve always thought this was the initial, primal appeal of The Matrix, how Keanu Reeves was a weirdly dispassionate participant in his...

Derek Jeter Got Mad At The Yankees Because They Thought Troy Tulowitzki Was Better
The Yankees’ pinstriped hard-on for Troy Tulowitzki was an open secret. Every season was supposed to be the one that the shortstop was finally traded to usurp Derek Jeter in New York. Also as well-known was the strained relationship between Jeter and GM Brian Cashman, though no one would talk about ...

Clinton Portis, Lil B, And The Internet's Most Stolen Joke
Joke theft is a hot topic at the moment: with perpetrators like The Fat Jew finally facing repercussions for their comedy larceny and Twitter removing plagiarized tweets, it appears we’ve reached a day of reckoning for those who lack the wit to write their own jokes....

Deez Nuts: The Day Every Local News Station Got BOFA'd
The news about North Carolinians’ thirst for Deez Nuts forced local news operations across the country to cover the story of everyone’s favorite fake presidential candidate. So here’s a supercut of baffled TV anchors saying “Deez Nuts.” ...

Seahawks OC Says He'd Call The Super Bowl's Final Play All Over Again
Because the NFL no longer goes away in the offseason, the Super Bowl feels like forever ago. But, nearly seven months on, the last meaningful play still sticks firmly in the craw of the Seahawks, who by all rights ought to be two-time reigning champs. Offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, who called...

Report: David Stern's Friends Want Him To Run For Mayor
What does a 72-year-old, bored, retired, and obscenely wealthy man in New York City do? Run for mayor, apparently, if his friends can talk him into it. ...

Classic Man: "True North Lies On The Horizon Directly Below The North Star"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we discussed surreptitiously riding the rails; today, we address a few ways to orient yourself in the wild....

TCU And Baylor Are Great, But The Big 12 Is Mostly Butt
Welcome to our college football conference previews, in which we will tell you what you need to know about various conferences, with an emphasis on watchability. First up were the Pac-12. and the SEC. Now, the Big 12...